When I was in college I took a music appreciation class, which was held in a large auditorium, affording me the ability to easily overhear other people's conversations. One of the women, Caroline, caught my attention because her life sounded so magical. She relayed a story to a friend of hers that while traveling in [...]
surrender
I am very self-willful (some would say controlling) in that I want things to go a certain way. I want people to call me back when I want them to; I want the world to revolve around my needs. Train delays? Miscommunication? No good. Thankfully, I no longer stay in my controlling state for long [...]
I didn't write a blogpost last night because I was at Rosh Hashanah services and didn't come home until late. One line in particular during the service jumped out at me, "Cast away your sins." I don't like the word "sins" because it dredges up notions of heaven and hell and judgment, but I do [...]
The force I reference in this title is not the Star Wars kind, but rather the kind that’s inside your head and probably a little mean. The force that’s in opposition to gentleness.I like to force myself to do things all the time. “I don’t feel like walking all the way home, but I’m going [...]
“The battle is over and I lost.” All day I’ve been thinking about what I want to write. There are so many things that occurred to me but in the kitchen just now I realized all I can do is be honest. While this blog is all about how I see a new world developing, [...]
Right now I’m feeling really contracted about money. I’m feeling contracted about money because I spent more this month than I usually do. And so with the help of Mint.com I created a budget spending plan. But my knee-jerk reaction is, “Oh my god! I’m spending too much! The answer is to move out of [...]
This week Shakespeare’s quote, “All the world’s a stage/And all the men and women merely players,” finally made sense to me. I really got my whole life is one big drama. In Sanskrit there’s a word liila, which means “the divine play” and it’s used in conjunction with God. As in, “My whole life is [...]
I used to believe I had to “conquer” my fears. I used to be of the mindset I had to squash doubt flat, or wrestle with my other issues until I won. That I had to assert my will and come out the victor. I realized a while ago that’s not the case at all.In [...]
Patience. Timing. Things unfolding according to God’s timeline. It seems this week that’s the message I’m receiving over and over again. Not in a frustrating/dramatic/hit-over-the-head kind of way, but more in terms of me noticing how things take time but eventually do happen. I think about how two weeks ago I freaked out about my [...]
What I’m realizing is this whole doubt thing is the universe’s way of trying to get me to trust myself. I’ve written before about realizing the truth lies within, but getting rid of doubt is an application of that realization.Last night a friend of mine said, “I can see this as the future or I [...]
