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Walk Into The Light

This week I walked into a maelstrom. I made a decision about the upcoming retreat I’m helping to organize and the response has been wide-ranging. Some people have told me I’m completely out of line. That I’m young, naïve, being manipulated, and essentially a spiteful brat. On the other end of the spectrum, people have said they applaud my decision, they respect my stance, and agree with me whole-heartedly.

It would be very easy for me to respond to the negative messages with negative messages in kind. It would be very easy for me to pull a power trip and lash out at those who disagree with me. To respond to them the same way they’re responding to me.

I choose not.

I choose not because I would rather walk toward love, toward light, toward God. I’d rather continue to spiral up and move closer and closer to source energy. Every time I respond to people from a place of fear, or anger, or resentment I turn a little bit further away from the Divine. So instead, I respond to those who call me names with love. I say to them, “Thanks for your concern about my welfare. Thank you for voicing your opinion.” I let them rage on, and on, and on while I continue to walk into the light. I strive ahead with my goal in mind, never losing sight of what I’m hoping to accomplish. I hold onto my vision for this retreat – a place where people can access the divine within as well as without. A place where people spend a solid week turning inward and expanding their feelings of love for all of creation. If people want to join me they are more than welcome.

Lucky for me (and everyone) Brad Yates did an EFT video about embracing the light:

I dream of a world where we all consistently choose love. A world where we rise above the responses of our ego-selves and let love pour through. A world where we walk toward the light, embrace the light, become the light. A world where we move up, up, up, letting our best selves shine through.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

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I’m just going to be honest. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling sad and frustrated. I’ve been in the space of, “Where is blah di blah? Why isn’t it here yet? Why don’t I have it yet?” Then I want to slip into my fearful controlling place to “make” it happen. But that doesn’t work for me. It never has.

I think about when I was a freshman in college at UNC – 17 years old, depressed, feeling out of place, out of the house before I was ready, desperate for friends. Desperate. My brother is a social butterfly and he encouraged me to, “Just go up to people! Say hi! Make friends!” It didn’t work. It really didn’t work. I spent months going up to random people in the dining hall asking if I could sit with them. I had the same conversations over and over again: “Where are you from? What are you studying?” It was horrible. Really, really horrible. I walked around in a state of frenzy and desperation essentially asking, “Are you my friend? Are you my friend?” The answer was invariably, “No.”
I give kudos to my past self for being so brave and courageous. I put myself out there over and over again to basically get shot down repeatedly. I would meet someone, it would be awkward, we wouldn’t talk again. You know what finally happened? I relaxed. I let myself go with the flow and wouldn’t you know it? Friends! I relaxed into it and because I unclenched my energetic fist, I allowed the energy to flow, to move, and then of course it happened. I’m recognizing there is a cosmic flow to life and I am an energetic being. I recognize I get whatever I put out. If I think it’s hard to find friends it will be. If I think people don’t like me, they won’t. It reminds me of that saying, “When you smile the whole world smiles with you,” (which apparently is also a song!).
Have you ever noticed when you’re feeling great, like today will be a great day, often everything goes your way? But when you feel icky it’s just the opposite? I think it’s the same with feeling lack or lamenting what I want isn’t here yet. If I keep being reminded it isn’t here yet that’s the energy I’m putting out and then of course it won’t be here.
Really the best way I can explain what I’m feeling is to show this YouTube video of a talk by Abraham Hicks:

I love that. Everything I want has already been created and I just have to allow myself to be drawn in. Not make myself go there but allow it. Just like I did with friends. Allow it to happen naturally. Allow myself to rendezvous with people I am drawn to instead of forcing myself to go up to those I am not on the off chance we could be best friends.
Everything I want has already been created and the only thing keeping me from it is me. My fear, my lack of worthiness, my belief it can’t happen. But you know? I am a divine child of God so I deserve to rejoice in life and I deserve all the good things coming my way. Not because I won a Nobel Prize or cured cancer but because I am love incarnate. Because I am the blessed daughter of Parama Parusa/Cosmic Consciousness/Brahma/the Supreme/God/Infinite Love. So why not? Why can’t I have everything I want? You know what? I can.
I allow myself to have everything I want knowing it’s already been created. I know I deserve to rejoice in life, I deserve all the pleasures life has to offer. I know I am worthy and deserving of love and respect and abundance. So I say, “Yes please, thank you.”

I dream of a world where we all allow ourselves to get what it is we want. A world where we know all our needs and desires will be fulfilled with time. A world where we understand life is about flow and movement and that means letting ourselves be carried. A world where we let ourselves dream big and know those dreams will come true if we let them.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

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Staying Positive

When I first started writing this blog many moons ago my friend Heather told me, “Rebekah, in order to birth another world is probable you have to believe it.” She reminded me to stay positive, to stay uplifted and inspired. I feel like this week has been a real test of that.

As you know, I’m helping to organize a retreat taking place at the end of this month. We’ve had conference call after conference call. Discussion after discussion. Headache after headache. I’ve felt myself spiraling into negative, pessimistic territory. Thinking about what Heather said, and what I’ve learned from Louise Hay and Marianne Williamson about what we focus on grows, I sent out this e-mail to the committee:

I just wanted to say I know it’s really easy to focus on the negative and all the headaches and drama when it comes to organizing something this massive and intricate. At such times I think it’s important to be reminded why we are doing this in the first place. Why we said, “Yes! Sign me up!” I want us to focus on our end goal and not get caught up in the nitty gritty along the way.

I won’t speak for everyone but I will say for myself I’m doing this because I love God. I agreed to organize this retreat because I truly believe in the power of our ideology and our practices. I agreed to organize this retreat because I want people to know the divine source within. I’m doing this because I want to help people on their path to enlightenment in any way I can.

It is my deepest wish people will walk away from this retreat feeling the divine love that permeates all of our creation. It is my deepest wish people will go home feeling inspired, uplifted, overjoyed. Retreats? Retreats are a time to focus on spirituality, to deepen our meditation and have the most pressing concern be making it to programs on time.

What we focus on grows. I want my inspiration and love to grow. What about you?

I mean all that. I want to keep myself in a high spot while also dealing with reality. I want to keep my sights set on what I want as opposed to getting caught up in what I don’t or obnoxious details. I want to stay positive and inspired and uplifted. I want to remember my thoughts have an effect and I want to choose beneficial ones. Ones that will move me closer to my dreams.
I dream of a world where we continually align ourselves with what is good, what is positive. I dream of a world where we are undeterred by the obstacles that arise in our path and instead keep tilting our faces up to the sun, moving ahead with joy and ease. I dream of a world where we take things as they come while also remembering our end game.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
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Future Tripping

It’s been a while since I’ve written about future tripping. To me future tripping is planning out the future. Playing the, “If this happens I’ll do this,” game. Constructing a whole sequence of events before they even occur. I’ve been doing that this week because I’m planning a big retreat taking place at the end of this month. (P.S. You can check out the link here.) I’m thinking about, “Who will be the lunch in charge? Who will take care of the kids? What happens if so and so turns up? What happens if so and so doesn’t turn up?” There are sooo many things I’m contemplating and so many outcomes it’s making my head spin.

I also think about how futile the whole thing is. Months ago my friend L’s sister was in town and they invited me to go out to dinner with them. Because of the timing and the location of the restaurant it didn’t make sense for me to go home first. So I started doing allllll this planning. Contemplating where I would go after work. What I would do with myself. If I would try to read a book or whether I would do falun dafa. If I would wander around Chinatown. Where would I meditate. What would happen if I meditated at a temple and then walked around. How was I going to spend my time? So many things! So many possibilities! And you know what happened? The night we planned to go out to eat L’s sister got sick and they canceled. They canceled! I spent all that time thinking about what I would do and then none of it took place! All of my worrying was completely unfounded.

It was a nice reminder for me to live in the moment and stay present. It was a nice reminder I’d rather deal with things as they come instead of counting my chickens before they hatch. Because the truth of the matter is I have no idea what’s up ahead. I have no idea what tomorrow brings or even what the next 10 minutes brings. And since I’ve redefined my concept of a higher power, I know that no matter what’s ahead it’s for my good. So why worry? Why plan my whole life in advance?

Some things, like this retreat, require planning. Otherwise we might be sitting around twiddling our thumbs, but honestly, I don’t have to plan everything. I don’t have to think about, “Well what if this happens? Or that happens?” If it happens it does and I’ll deal with it then. Be prepared, yes, but not obsessive. I think that’s the difference.

In the case of going out to dinner with L and her sister, bring a book but also see how I feel at the time. Prepare but allow for all possibilities. I want to allow myself to still deal with situations as they come up and not hold onto what I think will happen like a dog chewing a bone. There’s no need to constantly replay situations in my head like a CD stuck on repeat.

I dream of a world where we allow ourselves to stay present. A world where we take things as they come one day at a time. A world where we release our fear of the future and instead live in the moment. A world where we know what’s ahead is for our own self-realization and growth and so we can sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

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