My birthday is swiftly approaching and I keep thinking about time. I’m pondering how things happen and when so it seemed only fitting to recycle this post from October 2018. I have yet to see the man mentioned in this post again, but it’s a nice story regardless. Enjoy.
This weekend I met someone formerly associated with my yoga and meditation group way back in the 70s when he lived in Atlanta. That may not seem especially remarkable, but it’s literally never happened to me before. I’ve met people who had some exposure to it, but not people who engaged with the practices and then drifted away.
My yoga and meditation group, while worldwide, is small and the chances of affiliation with it coming up in the first conversation with someone at a party is unlikely. I grin thinking about the encounter from this weekend because it reminds me the universe is not random and chaotic. There is an order and intelligence at play, of which I get glimpses sometimes.
I take comfort in believing order and intelligence reign because there are a lot of things going on in the world and my life that I don’t understand, that I wish were different. There are certain elected officials I wish weren’t in office. There are certain policies I wish were abolished. I wish my body reacted differently to certain foods. I wish I didn’t have certain ailments.
This picture will make sense as you keep reading. Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash
And when I spend all my time wishing things were different – while also working to change them – I get frustrated and feel like I’m beating my head against a brick wall. I easily succumb to despair. When life throws a little magic, a little synchronicity my way, hope flares up again and I’m reminded that perhaps I’m unable to see the whole picture. That I’m a character in a play that only knows her lines and not the lines of everyone else.
The other reason I appreciate the encounter from this weekend is the demonstration that things circle back. The man I met hasn’t been an active member of my group for nearly 50 years and now he might pick it up again. In my mind, if something doesn’t happen in the short term, it will never happen. I have big dreams and at the moment it seems like I’m veering away from them. I feel sad about that because these dreams are near and dear to my heart, but at the moment they aren’t feasible given my energy levels and my financial situation. Does that mean I give them up for good?
Intellectually, I understand the answer to that question is “no.” I see many models in society of people who accomplished things later in life, but emotionally, the answer feels like a “yes.” The more reminders I have that things circle back, that dreams can be delayed, the better.
My spiritual teacher says that “whatever happens in this universe of ours is nothing but an expression of Cosmic desire or Cosmic will … when a human desire and His desire coincide, then only does the human desire become fruitful, otherwise it is a sure failure.”
Sometimes when I want something to happen doesn’t match up to when the cosmos wants something to happen. Sometimes the soil isn’t fertile enough. Sometimes you plant something and the yield is pitiful, but after adding nutrients to the soil, the yield is plentiful. I’m reminded here the universe is playing a long game. My recovery mentor says, “You’re looking at your watch while Higher Power is looking at the calendar.” My part here is to have patience, trust, and faith in the timing of things.
I dream of a world where we remember the universe has a long-term plan while many of us only think in the short term. A world where we recognize if we’re not ready for something just yet, it will circle back to us if it’s meant to be. A world where we realize instead of looking at our watches, we should be looking at our calendars.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
A friend said something to me recently that keeps ringing in my ears: “Wealth is not a sign of good leadership.” She’s right. Let’s look at CEOs of companies who are usually wealthy and considered the leaders of their organizations. Instead of being a good leader, it’s more likely they’re a psychopath because roughly 4% to as high as 12% of CEOs exhibit psychopathic traits, studies find. That’s many times more than the 1% rate found in the general population and more in line with the 15% rate found in prisons, according to Forbes.
A psychopath lacks empathy and doesn’t care about the consequences of their actions. They are typically very charming but they don’t care about hurting other people. They will do what they need to do to accumulate more wealth and power. In the U.S. and other countries, we reward this sort of behavior. There is no check on the amount of wealth one person can accumulate and we let the extremely wealthy do whatever they want under the guise of “freedom” and “choice.”
Elon Musk and Twitter is a perfect example. Within a few weeks, he managed to destroy a social media platform used by people all over the world. Not only are artists, activists, and others scrambling to change their operating mechanisms, but now thousands of people are without a job because they were laid off or resigned in response to Musk’s ultimatum. He said if people want to keep working at Twitter, they need to be “extremely hardcore” and that means “working long hours at high intensity,” according to the Washington Post.
Wealth doesn’t translate into leadership. Photo by Adeolu Eletu on Unsplash
In response, people left Twitter in droves. Whatever Musk is – a narcissist, a psychopath, or a sociopath – it’s clear to me he lacks empathy for others because if he actually cared about the people working for him, he would want to promote a positive working environment that takes into account that people have lives outside the office. He didn’t do that. He only cares about his vision and what he wants. He doesn’t know how to lead or inspire people to work for him. All he really has is wealth and a desire for exploitation, which is the opposite of a leader, according to my spiritual teacher. He said:
“The function of a [leader] shall, therefore, be to see that the dominating or the ruling classes do not have any scope for exploitation … The moment one class turns into exploiters, the life of the majority becomes miserable; a few enjoy at the cost of many whose lot is only to suffer. More than that, in such a state of society both the few and the many get degenerated. The few (exploiters) degenerate themselves due to [an] excess of physical enjoyments, and the many (exploited) cannot elevate themselves, because all their energy is taken up in mundane problems …. Hence, for the physical, mental, and spiritual welfare of the administrator and the administered of the society as a whole, it is essential that no one is given any scope to exploit the rest of the society.”
We clearly don’t have that because these days, exploitation is encouraged. What’s the solution? One of my friends says “more governance,” but that doesn’t work with our current politicians because many of them also show psychopathic and sociopathic traits. What we really need is a complete overhaul of our power structures. We need people in power who are actually leaders, not in the sense they inspire followers because hi, just look at cults. No. What we need is people who want to curb exploitation. People who actually care about others. People who understand the repercussions of their actions and aren’t only looking out for themselves. I see some of that already but I hope I see more of it soon.
I dream of a world where we recognize wealth is not a sign of good leadership. A world where we understand true leaders think about others and show care for everyone. A world where we recognize leaders should hinder exploitation because they value the upliftment of all.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I wrote this post in December 2017 so a lot has changed since then. My sleep is sorted and my health challenges aren’t nearly as taxing as they were before (although I’m still a spoonie). However, some of my dreams still feel far away so re-reading this post brings me comfort. I hope it does for you as well.
It doesn’t happen to me often that I’m up most of the night, wide awake, unable to sleep, but it’s happening as I write this in my journal. The timing seems only fitting for the topic of this post, dreams.
The other day I pulled an oracle card called “The Retriever.” The Retriever is a fairy who retrieves that which is lost, including dreams. The Retriever will hold onto a dream until the person is ready to pick it up again. Drawing the card, I felt comforted. A sense of ease washed over me. I visualized my dreams as an orb off in the hinterlands, not going anywhere, just waiting patiently.
This is kind of what I imagine the dream hinterland looking like. Photo by Denys Nevozhai on Unsplash
So often we talk about our dreams as something to pursue, to constantly work toward, like they’re a marathon to train for. And while it’s true we must take action to turn our dreams into reality, The Retriever reminds me my dreams are ready and waiting for me when I can attend to them. I don’t have to worry about them disappearing like a soap bubble if I’m unable to focus on them at this very moment because they’re not going anywhere.
Right now, as you likely know, I’m unable to pursue my dreams to the degree I’d like. All I have the capacity for at this time is focusing on my health. I mean, clearly something is going on if I’m writing this post in the middle of the night instead of sleeping. While I could heap on further disappointment by telling myself my poor health is evidence my dreams will never come true, and I’ll be stuck here forever and always, I’m reminding myself my dreams are out in a field somewhere, earmarked for me.
My spiritual teacher says that “whatever happens in this universe of ours is nothing but an expression of Cosmic desire or Cosmic will … when a human desire and His desire coincide, then only does the human desire become fruitful, otherwise it is a sure failure.”
That’s a wordy way to convey divine timing, but I also think it’s a message that emphasizes I can focus on other things, like my health, knowing one day my desire will match the Cosmic desire, and my dreams will manifest. I would say I can’t wait, but that’s not true. I can wait and I will because my dreams are out there somewhere in the hinterlands with my name on them. There’s no rush. And that means I can take all the time I need.
I dream of a world where we trust our dreams are earmarked for us in a metaphorical hinterland. A world where we realize our dreams don’t disappear if we’re unable to focus on them when and how we’d like. A world where we have peace of mind, recognizing when we’re ready to retrieve our dreams from the hinterland, they’ll be there, waiting for us.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
On Saturday, I heard a delightful story from my hairstylist, Jen, about how she started working at the salon. She recently graduated from cosmetology school and was on the hunt for an apprenticeship because she wasn’t ready to strike out on her own as a full-fledged independent contractor.
While she searched, she continued to cut and style hair, including her friends and family. When Jen’s best friend went to the chiropractor one day, a woman came up to her and said, “I love your hair. Who did it?” The woman was, you guessed it, the owner of a hair salon. It turns out she’d been looking for an apprentice for two years!
I love this story because it reminds me what you’re looking for is looking for you. So often when it comes to searching for a job, a romantic partner, a literary agent, etc., we think it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack – arduous and nearly impossible. We think we’re the ones putting in all the effort and if we stop trying, we won’t get what we want. However, what if instead of a needle in a haystack, it’s like a needle and a magnet? The needle is attracted to the magnet and the magnet is attracted to the needle. They’re looking for each other.
There’s a force that brings us together. Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay
Another story for you. Many years ago, before Doreen Virtue renounced all her work and ended the relationship with her publisher Hay House, she created an oracle card deck, which is a deck of cards with messages on it such as, “The angels are telling you to stand in your power,” or “Be kind to yourself today.” Hay House wanted the deck on the market right away but it usually takes an artist a year and a half to paint the 44 pictures needed to accompany the text of the oracle cards.
Doreen needed something immediately and had an image in mind of what she wanted. She went to her computer and said, “Angels, I need to find this artist but I need her to have 44 images available.” I’m not sure what she typed, but Doreen found an artist immediately with 44 images available and sent her a personal email.
On the artist’s end, she previously had high-paying jobs but they’d all dried up and she had to work for magazines doing art she didn’t enjoy. She made a resolution she would never again compromise on her artwork and would say “no” to all jobs unless they involved her true passions. Doreen contacted the artist within 20 days of her making that resolution with a big job to not only license her artwork but license 44 pieces of her artwork.
Why does this happen? Because attraction underpins the universe. When I say “attraction,” I don’t mean sexual attraction, I mean garden variety drawn together. My spiritual teacher says, “[T]he cause of this attraction is the imperative urge for self-preservation. It is only because of this urge for self-preservation that unit beings run after crude, subtle, or causal expressions. And this urge for self-preservation, too, arises due to the desire for happiness in every living being. So it is clear that behind every attraction between one entity and another, which we call by the name of káma, lies the pure desire for attaining happiness. Happiness is the ultimate desire of life.”
We look for one another because we want happiness. Jen wanted a job but the hair salon owner also wanted an apprentice. Doreen wanted an artist but the artist also wanted work. We aren’t solitary beings fumbling around in a forest hoping to run into what we’re looking for. We’re not searching for a needle in a haystack. No. It’s a two-way street. What we’re looking for is also looking for us like needles and magnets.
I dream of a world where we recognize we’re partnering with other people and with the universe in order to be happy. A world where we understand attraction is at the core of who we are. A world where we realize we aren’t needles and haystacks but instead needles and magnets that are inevitably drawn together.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.