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Living in Reality

By Rebekah / December 16, 2012

This post has been a year in the making so it’s fitting it will be my last post of 2012 (probably). “Living in reality” has been the theme for me this year. There is so much I wanted to believe, so much I hoped for, that hasn’t come true. I’ve spent most of this year feeling heartbroken and sad because my fantasies came crashing down around my head. But that’s a good thing.

It’s a good thing because instead of being in denial, or waiting for the day xyz will happen, I’m addressing what’s here, now. Fantasy has been a huge part of my life. I used to get lost in my head dreaming about the future. It was my coping mechanism as a child and I needed it to survive. But now I’m an adult and it no longer serves me to fantasize because it means I miss out on all the good stuff that’s here before me. Living in reality means I’m no longer comparing what’s in front of me with the dream in my mind.

You might be perplexed reading this when my blog is called “Another World is Probable.” Isn’t my whole blog one big idealistic fantasy? No, it is not. My dreams for a new world may be somewhat of a fantasy but I see seeds of those dreams in the everyday world. There exists unconditional love and heroism in the here and now. I think of Victoria Soto who died while saving her students from a shooter. I think of the principal of Sandy Hook elementary school who also died trying to wrest the gun from the shooter. This is real life.

It’s tempting for sensitive souls and spiritualists to say, “Let’s pray about this and visualize a better world,” and have that be the end of it. I agree, let’s pray and visualize a better world, but let’s also do something. Let’s also invest in mental health care, let’s notice who’s around us and what they’re doing. Let’s listen to each other and take action when others are suffering. We can’t keep living in a fantasy about “the good ole days” or dreaming of the future when something a psychic predicted will come to pass. It doesn’t matter what life was like 50 years ago, or what it will be like 50 years ahead. What matters is reality. I’m not saying we should all start miring in the darkness, lamenting how awful things are. I’m suggesting we take stock of what’s before us and keep hoping for the best.

I would much rather acknowledge the good things in this world than fantasizing about something better. There are so many beautiful things in reality. People sacrificing their lives for someone else. Neighbors helping each other in time of need. Little children who squeal with delight when they see their favorite cup.

When I wrote about “children who squeal with delight when they see their favorite cup” I was thinking of this picture. So stinking cute!

I’m not sure what I’m driving at except that I see the wisdom of accepting things as they are while also trying to change the things we can. I think maybe Howard Zinn sums it up best:

“An optimist isn’t necessarily a blithe, slightly sappy whistler in the dark of our time. To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places — and there are so many — where people behaved magnificently, this gives us energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.”

But I think first and foremost this comes about by living in reality and seeing what’s here, now.

I dream of a world where we live in reality while also striving for something better. A world where we see the beauty of what is. A world where we celebrate our triumphs and lament our failures. A world where we live in the here and now while also seeing infinite possibilities for the future.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Complete Allowance

By Rebekah / April 25, 2011

Where I am today is complete allowance of all that is. Not all of you will understand this blogpost, and that’s ok. It’s written for those of you it resonates with.

A few weeks ago I told my mom it’s a miracle I’m feeling my feelings. She said, “Rebekah, you’re human, so of course you’re feeling your feelings.” No. Not true. I have used everything to escape feeling my emotions – food, television, books, crushes – anything besides feeling them. The fact I’m now feeling my emotions really is a miracle. On Friday night I felt sad and lonely and a little crazy and instead of reaching for something to distract me, I just felt my feelings. I wanted to use affirmations, put a positive spin on all of it, but ultimately I allowed what was.

I am completely allowing myself to feel my feelings: good, bad, and ugly. I am no longer forcing myself to feel better or trying to hide parts of myself for fear others will judge me. Not just my feelings, but all parts of me. On Friday I even *gasp* went to the pool without shaving. It was perhaps the first time I walked into the pool completely unselfconscious. It was perhaps the first time in my life I allowed myself to be who I am in public without fear, without hesitation. Most of the time I’m only my true self when I feel it’s safe to do so: in the comfort of my home, with friends, at spiritual retreats. Friday was the first time it didn’t matter to me if I was being judged.

This all comes at a great time because I finished editing my book and I sent it to a professional copyeditor. I’m freaking out because that means someone else is going to read it! That probably sounds really funny because, um, when you write books you generally want people to read them. And furthermore I blog regularly about my personal life so why the commotion?

The commotion is Just a Girl From Kansas is not my blog. It’s much more personal. People are going to read my journal entries. They’re going to read my most intimate thoughts and feelings. They’re going to experience all the highs and lows I went through when I first moved to California and everything after that. It’s not a light and fluffy account. It’s my real life in its most raw form.

I’m scared because after this there is no more hiding. There is no pretending I’m a “normal” girl with a “perfect” life. All my crazy will be on display and how will people react? Except I’m not sure it matters all that much, because like I wrote a few weeks ago, those that mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind. What it really comes down to is me. Allowing myself to be all that I am, allowing myself to be who I am without limits. Allowing all expressions of myself, allowing all parts of myself to exist and know they’re all ok. No one part is better than the other. Even my unpleasant feelings are acceptable. Even my sometimes-hairy legs are acceptable. I can allow all of it.

I dream of a world where we allow ourselves to be all that we can be. A world where we give ourselves permission to do so. A world where we show up for our lives and let things be what they are. A world where we love ourselves unconditionally, even the parts we don’t necessarily want the world to see. A world where we live in complete allowance knowing self-love is what matters the most.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

People are People

By Rebekah / April 18, 2011

Maybe it’s the perfectionist in me, but whenever something goes wrong in any of my relationships I assume it’s my fault. It’s because I’m weird or said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing. I am always to blame. Except. . .I’m not.

I had an encounter with a friend last week that showed me other people are to blame too. I’m not always the bad guy. Yeah, I “knew” other people had flaws but somehow they didn’t register because the really flawed people I don’t associate with. I somehow assumed everyone around me was near perfect because they didn’t club baby seals. My rose-colored glasses finally fell off when I looked at my friend and really saw him. He can be impulsive and live completely in the now, which means he doesn’t always think things through. A little part of me worries about typing that because, “What will my friend think?” but honestly he probably won’t think much because — it’s ok for me to not be “perfect” and it’s ok for other people to not be perfect as well. We’re human. We all have our character flaws. All of us. Even the really nice lovely people. Even those we cherish the most. So when I’m fighting with someone, no, I’m not solely to blame. No, I’m not the only one who makes mistakes. I’m not the only screw up in the room.

Other people have free will, other people are allowed to make choices and mess up, and yeah, that will affect me. No one else has all the answers or “acts perfectly” or has it all figured out. No one else has a manual for how to go through life. I thought they did, I felt like an alien invader, but now I realize everyone else is just trying to figure it out too. Some people put on a better show than others, but really everyone is just doing their best putting one foot in front of the other.

I guess I’m saying I finally understand relationships involve other people. (Duh Rebekah!) Other people are allowed to air their dirty laundry, to play out their character defects, to blunder through life. I don’t have to hold myself to a different standard, either higher or lower. People are going to be who they are and oftentimes it has nothing to do with me. I didn’t do anything wrong, I didn’t elicit a certain response. People are just. . .people.

I’m not conveying it very well but I feel such relief because I finally know my part in things, and it’s not everything. I finally understand how much is my stuff and how much is other people’s stuff. What a relief to not constantly take ownership of other people’s flaws! What a relief to acknowledge where I went wrong and where other people went wrong! Not with judgment but with acceptance. What a relief to say, “Oh, I see, they’re being impulsive, or acting out their control issues, or miring in entitlement,” or whatever and realize it’s theirs. To be living completely attuned to myself. What a gift.

I dream of a world where we can recognize people as people. A world where we understand everyone is doing their best, everyone has their character kinks they’re working on. A world where we understand what belongs to us and what belongs to other people. A world where we live on our side of the street, knowing it’s more than enough to take care of.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Accepting The Messages

By Rebekah / December 17, 2010

A friend of mine jokingly said once, “Oh I forgot, you’re like a shaman – you’re into signs and messages from the Universe.” Yep. That’s pretty true. But just because I receive signs doesn’t mean I always accept or believe them. Sometimes I can be very resistant and willful.

By now you know I started a business with my friend: Tri-Sight Entertainment. What you don’t know is I feel like I’m not doing enough. That we’re not moving fast enough. That we’re not making enough headway. (My business partner says, “Moving fast enough for who? About what?) I feel like I’m slogging through the trenches knee deep in mud making effort after effort. My higher power though? Soooo doesn’t want that for me. How can I tell? Because I’ve received some major signs.

My higher power wants me to rest and relax. Sign number one: the last day of my full-time job was supposed to be Dec. 30. Now it’s 10 days earlier but I’m not using any vacation days. I’m getting paid 10 extra days without having to show up for work. Sign number two: I walked around too much on my sprained ankle and my physical therapist told me to rest and take it easy. The biggest sign though is number three: I have a horrible sore throat and a cold. Bad enough that it hurts to sit up for long periods. (Why yes, I am typing this while lying down on my bed.) God is practically shouting at me, “Relax! Take it easy! Rest up!” And my response is, “I don’t want to!” So basically my higher power literally incapacitated me to make me chill out.

It’s hard and I don’t like it because you see the more effort I put in the better. That’s kind of a half-truth if you think about it. Because I can push and push and push at a brick wall but it’s not going to budge. But if I rented a bulldozer and then pushed the wall, the whole thing will tumble over. Which one required more effort? And which one had the desired outcome? Effort doesn’t mean everything. Effort only takes me so far. There’s also my relationship with the Universe. And the Universe communicates with me all the time. What’s that saying? First God will nudge you and then He’ll send a 2×4? Ok God! I get it! Rest! Relax!

I also want to tell myself I don’t need to be afraid of the messages. I don’t need to doubt them or think they’re untrue or that my higher power is tricking me. It’s all for my own good, as I’ve written about before. And sometimes things just take time. Tri-Sight may not make enough to support me tomorrow but it will. It’s coming. Everything my higher power has said to me is coming, I just don’t know when. But that’s the joy of being alive, you just have no idea what’s around the corner. That’s the excitement of life – everything is a surprise. We get frustrated when we think we know what’s ahead. I’d like to instead live my life free of expectations, just letting things come one day at a time. God willing, I’ll be able to.

I’d like to close with an affirmation from Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life that I feel is very pertinent for me right now:

In the infinity of life where I am all is perfect, whole and complete.
I support myself and life supports me.
I see evidence of The Law working all around me and in every area of my life.
I reinforce that which I learn in joyous ways.
My day begins with gratitude and joy.
I look forward with enthusiasm to the adventures of the day, knowing that in my life, “All is good.”
I love who I am and all that I do.
I am the living, loving, joyous expression of life.
All is well in my world.

I dream of a world where we all feel everything is well. A world where we accept the messages our higher power conveys to us. A world where we know our higher power has our back. A world where we move our self-will aside and allow divine will to pour through. A world where we live each day with excitement about what’s next.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Humility

By Rebekah / November 25, 2010

Right now my mom and my sister are in the kitchen preparing our Thanksgiving feast while I’m lying flat on my back in the bedroom keeping my foot propped up. You see my gimp status means I cannot help because I still can’t stand for long periods of time. The best I can do is sit in a chair at the table and cut things up. For someone who is used to helping out this is very humbling. You know what else is humbling? Having to ask for a wheelchair at the airport because the thought of walking from the ticket counter to my gate sounds overwhelming. The most humbling experience (thus far) though is when I called up a friend of mine in tears because I didn’t have enough food to eat and couldn’t go grocery shopping.

I am little Ms. Independent, do everything herself. Having to ask for help because I am literally incapacitated is knocking down my pride in a big way. I want to still be able to do all the things I normally do but I can’t. I have to accept I have certain limitations. I’m also seeing how I’m not meant to do everything myself. Even self-sufficient farmers from yesteryear had to trade for certain dry goods. No person can have everything and do everything themselves. That’s why trade was invented in the first place. That’s also why humans are social creatures. We are meant to live in communities. No person is an island and pretending otherwise only causes harm.

This sprain is teaching me about balance. About how I can neither be completely dependent nor completely independent. My sprain is teaching me about doing what I can do but then asking for help when I need it.

While I’m learning humility in reference to my physical world, I’m also learning about humility on a grander scale. I used to walk around in my everyday life thinking I knew what was up and that I could be in control of everything. I used to think I was completely autonomous and God/my higher power/brahma was this force outside of me that had much bigger problems to deal with than my love life or financial situation or body. God had to handle war and homelessness and global warming. But now I know God works through me as an instrument. That we’ll never experience deux ex machina. No great omnipotent being is going to swoop in and save us. We save ourselves. And how do we do that? By getting our pride out of the way.

I can only speak for myself but I know when I’m proud I’m closed off and think I know what’s best and that I’m fully capable of doing everything. But you know? I’m not. Nor am I meant to. I was put on this Earth with certain gifts bestowed to me by my higher power. Gifts I am meant to use. Other people also have gifts they are meant to use. When I’m proud I deny people the ability to use their gifts and in essence I thumb my nose at God and forsake the gifts He has given them.

In another way I’m depriving people of their ability to serve the Divine. As my beautiful and lovely friend said to me, “I like to treat people as if they were God in human form.” And she’s right. Because I am. Divinity resides within me as well as outside me. When my friends bring me groceries they are showing their love for God and for me. Pride is my way of blocking that love. Why would I want to do that?

I dream of a world where we can all put aside our pride. A world where we realize we all have certain gifts we are meant to share and no one is expected to be completely self-contained and self-sufficient. A world where we allow ourselves to give and receive love. A world where we ask for help when we need it. A world where we all learn the value of humility.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Giving In

By Rebekah / November 12, 2010

Today I’ve been thinking about giving in, not giving up, but giving in. My ankle? Still sprained. I’m still housebound, still unable to do simple things like grocery shopping, or clean my apartment or put my laundry away. The rabble-rouser in me is defiant and likes to pretend I can do those things anyway. Just strap on the ace bandage and hobble around with the cane and it will be fine. But it’s not. I try but am unable to finish because I can’t stand for that long. And I’ve quite possibly made my sprain worse by doing so.

So instead I’m giving in. I’m giving into the situation, to the fact I cannot do all the things I normally do. I’m giving into the Universe and calling up my friends to bring me groceries and they graciously comply. (Bless them.) I’m giving into the fact my apartment is going to be a mess for a while.

What I’m experiencing right now can also be applied more broadly in my life. I am quite often defiant and refuse to accept things as they are. This sprain is teaching me Divine Will Be Done. Seriously. The Universe will orchestrate a sprain to ensure I get the rest I otherwise wouldn’t give to myself. If something is supposed to happen, or needs to happen, it will happen, and me pretending otherwise only leaves me frustrated.

I guess I’m saying it’s easier to just give in. To give in to what is. To accept where I am and what’s going on.

In the New Age realm there’s a lot of talk about resistance, which is the opposite of giving in. Wayne Dyer mentions it. Abraham Hicks mentions it. Others I’m unaware of probably mention it too. I don’t necessarily think resistance is a bad thing because it just is what is, but I will say I am firmly in the belief if it has to the Universe will lay you flat on your back either literally or figuratively and to just go with it. Because eventually the force that creates worlds will be so strong your choices will be to either go with it or get dragged kicking and screaming.

I’m choosing to go with it.

The alternate title of this post could be “acceptance” because really that’s what I’m talking about. Accepting what is. Accepting my ankle hurts and I can’t go grocery shopping and my apartment is a wreck. Accepting my bed has become grand central station and I have to lie down all the time. That’s the way it is right now. I’d rather feel at peace about it than defiant and crazy. I’d rather feel serene than angry and frustrated. That to me is what acceptance is. Recognizing things are what they are and what they are is alright. When I accept, I invariably feel at peace because I’m no longer trying to change the situation. I’m just allowing it to be what it is.

I dream of a world where we feel acceptance for what lies before us. Where we let things be what they are because only then will we know peace. I dream of a world where we give in to what the Universe is conveying to us. Where we accept things as they are and take them one day at a time.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Making Peace With The Past

By Rebekah / November 5, 2010

I sprained my ankle pretty badly last week. (It’s kind of a tragic story involving falling down the stairs, taxi cabs who wouldn’t stop for me, and walking a mile on an injury.) So I’m sitting at home and I’m feeling bored and restless and cranky. The most exciting part of my day is when I take the elevator one floor to my mailbox. It reminds me of another period of my life when I went through a similar thing.

In 2007 I was living with my parents in North Carolina and the highlights of my week were going to Blockbuster, the library, and the chiropractor. Those rituals were the only times I left the house, other than to do errands for my mom.
Here’s a little excerpt from my journal almost exactly three years ago:
I’m stressed but not stressed and I just feel like crying. I feel like I can’t do anything. And I wake up each day just wanting the day to be over because when it’s over I can relax and lose myself in television.
I was so restless and sad and lonely. And being housebound today is bringing up all those old feelings for me again. Even though this time is different – I have many friends, a great community, people stopping by to see me, my own place – the feelings are coming up so they can be healed.
Tears are pricking my eyes as I write this because I really had a horrible time when I lived at home – not because I fought with my parents, but because it just wasn’t where I belonged. I was a fish out of water – all my friends had moved away and I wasn’t plugged into a community. I’ve wanted to forget those feelings, and say, “Whatever, that’s not how my life is now, so it doesn’t matter.” But it does matter. I may be able to brush all that aside most days of the year, but you bet your bottom dollar an event (like a sprained ankle) will trigger me and it will all come flowing to the surface. It’s practically a guarantee. I think we’re confronted with things like this just so we can look at our past and release it. So we are given the opportunity to make peace with our past selves.
I didn’t have any local friends then and that’s ok. The most exciting part of my day was watching television at night and that’s ok. Everything that happened is ok. What happened is what happened and what happened is alright. I don’t have to regret the past or shut the door on it. I don’t have to justify it either. It just was what it was.
At this point I could launch the trite diatribe about how the past shapes the future and I couldn’t be the person I am today without experiencing the past and it would all be true. (That’s why it’s trite!) But I won’t. Because really, the most important thing is that I feel peace with what happened. It wasn’t good or bad even though my ego will tell you otherwise. It just was.
And so I’m coming to a place where I can accept not just my present, but my past. Where I can recognize it for what it was – a period of rest and recuperation. A time when I could wake up late and watch TV and read books without feeling guilty about other things I “should” be doing. It was exactly what I needed even if it wasn’t what I wanted. Today I have the hindsight to see that.
I dream of a world where we all make peace with where we are and where we’ve been. A world where we can accept the past in the light of day without wishing to shut the door on it. A world where we know in the infinity of life where we are, all is perfect, whole, and complete. That no matter what point in time we’re residing, it’s all ok.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Acceptance

By Rebekah / September 17, 2010

“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake.”

There are a lot of things floating in my head at the moment regarding acceptance. One, how there is a balance between accepting things as they are and trying to change them. Acceptance is indeed the answer but it’s dangerous to associate acceptance with complacency. The idea, “Well that’s just the way things are. What can we do about it?” That is perhaps a blog for another time.
Mostly I want to talk about accepting divine guidance and accepting the path we are walking. There has been A LOT of resistance within me about my path and what the Universe has been communicating to me. There has been resistance because I was afraid, or didn’t feel worthy, or the whole thing felt unrealistic because I didn’t have any physical proof. I’ve been resisting, making myself miserable and frustrated. Now is the time for acceptance.
I’ve been standing in a place of indecision, waffling between two choices, and now I have tipped over the precipice. There is only so long I can ignore what the Universe is telling me.
I could reference my move to San Francisco here as an example but by now everyone knows that story by heart. (If you read AWIP regularly, that is.) Instead I will relay another one.
I skipped fourth grade, meaning I was younger than almost everyone in my class by the time I entered middle school. It also means I related better to the people in the grade below me because technically those were my peers. By the time I reached senior year of high school, I was the intellectual equal of my classmates but not the emotional equal. In short, I wasn’t ready to leave home. I wasn’t ready to leave the comforts of mommy and daddy and venture off on my own. It didn’t occur to me to take a year off; instead I decided the best solution was to go to UNC Chapel Hill, a school roughly 2.5 hours away. My brother went to school there, it was close to home, and it had a journalism program. Never mind I hated UNC from the minute I visited. Never mind all the times I went to yearbook camp there in high school and felt it wasn’t a good fit because it was too big, too provincial, and in the South. I went against my intuition because I was scared. And I paid for it.
I packed on 20 pounds while I was there and sunk into a deep depression. So deep I had fleeting thoughts of suicide. And you know why? Because I went against my very essence, of what I knew to be true in my heart: that I wouldn’t like UNC. Some people would say to just accept it, make the best out of being there. To cherish what I had and dig a little deeper to find my niche. I refused. Instead I trusted my intuition, my heart, and I got the hell out of there. I moved back to Charlotte, my hometown, for the second semester of my freshman year and then I transferred to American University in Washington, D.C. where I graduated from. It was a great decision. I (mostly) loved AU, not so much the school but the people I met there and the city. Instead of accepting my situation as it was, I instead accepted the divine guidance I received. Instead of accepting that I made a choice and the end, I was stuck at UNC, I allied myself with what my heart told me.
When people talk about acceptance they seem to leave that part out. I’m obviously all about self-acceptance, but I also think divine acceptance is important. You’ll be much happier if you accept what the Universe is conveying, that’s for sure.
I dream of a world where we accept what we know to be true. A world where we cherish the divine guidance we are given and let our hearts lead the way. I dream of a world where we rise up to meet our destinies. A world where we take inspired action along the way and leave the rest up to our higher power.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.       

Being At Peace Where You Are

By Rebekah / May 28, 2010

You may have noticed from reading this blog I’m all about the self-realization. The growth. The change. You may also have noticed I want to get there as quickly as possible. If I’m feeling bad I want to feel good. If I’m feeling crazy I want to feel sane. If I’m feeling scared I want to feel safe. And I want it all to happen immediately. The sooner the better, thanks.

For the past few weeks I’ve been writing about my higher power, redefining my concept as well as my relationship. The whole thing pivots on trust. I’m learning I can trust my higher power and I can put my faith in a power greater than myself. What’s funny is prior to a few weeks ago, I thought I was already doing that! I really thought I trusted my higher power implicitly but I obviously didn’t, otherwise I wouldn’t have lived with so much fear. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been so afraid of the future or what could happen to me.

I think about trust walks. How one person is blindfolded while the other leads him or her around. I think about when I used to do them at group gatherings. I slapped a blindfold on and had no trouble walking at a steady pace because I knew the person pulling my arm would tell me if I were going to run into a tree stump. I knew they wouldn’t let me trip and fall. Because I trusted them. That’s the kind of relationship I’d like to have with my higher power. Unending trust. Complete faith. Total confidence. But right now? I don’t.

I don’t and that’s ok. This week I’ve been sobbing on the phone to my parents and close friends about how I want to trust my higher power implicitly and “OMG why don’t I?? Why don’t I have that relationship yet?!? I want it right now!” I’ve felt upset because I don’t have the relationship I want just yet. (Oh look! It’s the virtue I’ve been trying to learn my whole life: patience!) I’ve felt upset because it seems like now that I know my higher power loves me unconditionally, only wants what’s best for me, wants me to experience joy, I “should” trust it. I “should” feel complete and utter faith. That’s where the title of this post comes in.

I’ve been trying to force myself to be somewhere I’m not and it only causes me pain and frustration. It only causes me to cry and wail. And that’s not working for me so I’m allowing myself to be where I am. To feel what I feel and know it’s all ok. Louise Hay has an affirmation that says, “I am at peace where I am. I accept my good knowing all my needs and desires will be fulfilled.” Yeah. I’m at peace where I am. Knowing my relationship with my higher power will evolve. Knowing in the infinity of life where I am all is perfect, whole and complete. Knowing growth happens at a right and proper pace. Knowing it’s still growth, it’s still progress even if it’s not as fast as I want it to be. I know I’ll get to where I want to be, it just takes a while.

I dream of a world where we all feel at peace where we are. Where we move steady on the path of self-realization but also accept the spot we’re in. A world where we know we’ll get to where we’re going in time and there’s no rush. A world where we allow ourselves to go through the process with ease and grace. A world where we let ourselves be where we are and love the place where’re in. A world where we feel at peace.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Accepting The Good

By Rebekah / May 21, 2010

I had a conversation with a friend about this on Monday and it seems to be coming up for me as well so I figured it was worth a blogpost. My friend is looking for a place to live and she stumbled across a housing situation that seems like everything she’s been praying for. She said she’s scared to take it though because what if she loves it tremendously and then all of a sudden the whole thing falls apart? What if she experiences happiness unlike any she’s known and then her higher power decides to take it all away? I have that fear too.

I was all set to write a post about how it’s hard for me to accept the good things that come into my life. How it’s hard for me to say, “Ok God, I trust you.” How I’m scared to be in a relationship because what happens if it doesn’t work out? How will I bear that pain? But in even thinking about writing a post like that I felt a switch in my thinking. You know why? Because I deserve to rejoice in life and I accept all the pleasures life has to offer. Also my higher power is not out to get me or to punish me. My higher power wouldn’t say, “Here you go Rebekah. Here are all your dreams come to life,” and then turn around and take it all away from me to be mean. How does that serve anybody?

I realize everything that happens to me, everything is for my good. Is for my own growth and development. Every situation is to strip away all the layers of my ego, all the things that keep me locked in a place of separation from God. That means if my higher power were to take away a housing situation or a boyfriend or whatever, it’s for a damn good reason. It means there is some lesson that will take me to a higher, grander, more beautiful place. It means there is some lesson that will spur me on my path to enlightenment. There is nothing in my life that’s here to cause me undue suffering. There is nothing in my life that’s here to keep me miserable. Nothing.

I think about all the “bad” things that have happened to me like getting a crappy internship in London or not getting the job I really wanted in San Francisco. Looking back I see the good that came out of those situations. My terrible London internship was the first time I realized I would never be happy working for just some random publication, getting up and going to work in the morning. My terrible London internship was also the key moment I realized I wanted to use my words for good, for more than just making money.

The job I wanted so desperately in SF? It turns out if I got that job I would have been laid off. That entire magazine folded so really it’s quite lucky I’m working where I am.

I guess that’s what this post is about. Really synthesizing my new definition of a higher power. You know why? Because my higher power loves me. My higher power knows what’s in my best interest better than I do. My higher power wants me to experience joy and happiness and that means accepting the good things too. That means saying yes to an awesome relationship or an awesome living situation or an awesome job. That means saying yes to life, being unafraid because my higher power doesn’t take away things to spite me.

This is me saying I accept my good. I accept the good things coming into my life. I accept all the pleasures life has to offer. I accept and trust and believe my dreams will come true. And I also know if they don’t, that just means my higher power has something even better in store for me.

I dream of a world where we all feel it is safe for us to accept the good things in life. A world where we trust everything that happens is for our own self-realization. A world where we know the good things will stay in our lives as long as they serve us. A world where we know ultimately our higher power only wants us to be happy and that means accepting the good things that come our way.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.