I can say unequivocally my entire life I’ve had the fear I would be overpowered. I’ve been afraid someone would come in and overwhelm me physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. During the holidays I had a major breakthrough and it’s a fear I carry no more.
I’ve written before about looking fear in the face and seeing that perhaps our greatest fears are not as horrible as we’ve imagined. During the holidays I came to several realizations beyond that.
One, I realized I’ve already lived through all my greatest fears. Not having a job or a place to live? Check. Hello 2008. Losing someone I’ve loved? Triple check. The thing is I went through my greatest fears and lived to tell the tale. I realize I’ve been using fear as a way to protect myself because somehow I thought feeling afraid would keep me safe, or keep things from happening. As if being scared a snake will bite me will keep it from happening. (Um, it won’t.)
Obviously this past year I’ve come to realize the power of my mind. How the thoughts I think have an effect. I’ve come to realize I am a co-creator in my life. So recognizing that, I know I can create for myself a world where people are out to get me, where I’ll be overpowered, where others will harm me, or not. I can create for myself a world where I’m terrified (and quite possibly attract what I’m most scared of), or I can create something else. I can choose to believe I am safe, secure and protected. I can choose to believe I am divinely guided at each and every moment. I can choose to believe I can get through anything. And I already have.
Tapping along with this EFT video I started to believe and affirm for myself I can handle life. That there is nothing for me to be afraid of because even if I get bitten by a snake I’ll deal with it then. What’s the use of feeling afraid now? During the holidays I reminded myself I am fully capable of dealing with anything and everything so I don’t have to feel afraid. Instead I can walk around feeling calm and confident, taking life on life’s terms. Releasing my fear is pretty much a culmination of everything I’ve been talking about for the past year: releasing my need for control, trusting in a power greater than myself, co-creating my own reality, being present and in the moment. It all came together between Christmas and New Year’s.
The big breakthrough though occurred when I went to a yoga and meditation retreat in
Lastly, I finally understood love is all there is. That underneath my currents of fear, sadness, anger, etc., is a river of love. I realized my ego constructs all my other emotions and they act as an overlay for the love beneath. My ego masks the ever-present pure love surrounding me. I realized I am in the divine flow and in the divine flow there can be no harm, only love. Love is all there is.
And so I dream of a world where we release all that is unlike love in our minds and our bodies. A world where we deeply and completely love and approve and accept ourselves. A world where we release our need for fear because instead we recognize we are love. I dream of a world where we swim in the divine current, letting ourselves be carried, knowing we can handle life. A world where we feel the all-pervasive love surrounding us. A world where we return to love letting our fears wash away like the ocean smoothing out a beach.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I’m kind of on a hiatus right now what with visiting my family and going to a retreat in Missouri. However, I wanted to post one last message of hope and faith to close off 2009 and begin 2010. For your viewing pleasure I present:
Enjoy and rest assured another world is not only possible, it’s probable. =)
“Even though I sprained my ankle I think I’ll still walk to work. It’s not that bad.”
“It’s freezing outside, I have all these groceries to carry, but my hotel is only a mile away so I’ll just continue to walk. I need the exercise after all.”
I’ve done both these things (and more) – I’ve walked miles on a sprained ankle. For days. I decided to suffer in the
I bring this up because I think a lot of self-punishment masquerades as something else: “I’m being environmental by walking!” “I’m being economical by not taking a taxi!” I ask you, why is money the most important thing? Isn’t my health and well-being more important than money? Don’t I deserve to hail a taxi when it’s cold, to rest my ankle when it’s sprained, and to otherwise treat myself with love?
I haven’t treated myself with love, haven’t cherished myself as much as I could because I’ve been comparing myself to other people. I’ve been saying, “Who am I to have X? I’m nobody special.” And then I worry if I do say I deserve X, it will come across as conceited.
I think about the EFT video I posted a few months ago, “You are magnificent.” In it Brad Yates says discusses this very subject:
“But if I say I’m magnificent, isn’t that conceited? But in fact, isn’t that one of the greatest ways to honor my Creator? What does God really want to hear? ‘I’m sorry God apparently you screwed up with me because I’m not so great.’ Or doesn’t it honor God more to say, ‘I am magnificent. Nice job Creator. You done good.’ And the more I recognize my magnificence the more good I can do. The more good I want to do. My playing small doesn’t serve the world. Part of me thinks that to be a really good person I should think less of myself. I should think less of what I have to offer. That I’m not good enough, that what I have to offer isn’t good enough. And yet I’m grateful for all those magnificent people that didn’t feel that way. Thank God for Gandhi, for Mozart, for Da Vinci, for Martin Luther King Jr., for David Bowie, for all these people who shared their magnificence. I choose to share my magnificence. I am who I am by God’s grace. And I choose to use that grace to great effect. I am magnificent.”
There’s a difference between thinking I am magnificent, that I deserve to rejoice in all the pleasures life has to offer, and being arrogant. I think arrogance hinges on judgment, on ranking, on superiority. There’s a difference between saying, “I am magnificent,” and “I am better than you.” I can think I’m magnificent without declaring any superiority or inferiority.
What I’m learning right now is I can have all the pleasures life has to offer without coming across as conceited. I can treat myself with love, dream big, and achieve my goals without cutting down others. I can accept my good without comparing myself to anyone else. I can accept my good without ranking myself. I can accept my magnificence and let that be completely self-contained.
I dream of a world where we see our magnificence without feeling superior or inferior. Where we allow ourselves to be graced with gifts from God, knowing we completely deserve them. Knowing we are worthy of them. I dream of a world where we treat ourselves with love. Where we cherish ourselves as the divine children of God that we are.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
This week a friend of mine sent me a power point presentation about a professor holding a cup. The story goes like this:
A professor walked into class one day and held up a cup of water for all to see. The professor asked, “How much do you think this cup weighs?”
The students answered, “50g! 100g! 125g!”
“I really don’t know unless I weigh it,” the professor said. “But my question is what would happen if I held the cup like this for a few minutes?”
“Nothing.”
“What would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?” the professor asked.
“Your arm would begin to ache.”
“You’re right. Now what would happen if I held it for a day?”
“You arm would go numb, you would have muscle stress and paralysis and have to go the hospital for sure!” one of the students shouted amid laughter.
“Very good. But during all this did the weight of the cup change?”
“No.”
“Then what caused the arm to ache and the muscle stress?” the professor asked.
The students were perplexed.
“What should I do now to come out of pain?” asked the professor.
“Put the cup down!” said the students.
“Exactly,” the professor replied.
I think this is an excellent metaphor for the cares and worries that life throws our way. Sometimes things come at me and I freak out. I hold onto them, obsess, angst. I get myself all worked up and upset but what I love is I got myself worked up. I did it to me. Which means the power to undo the angst is also in my hands. It means I am autonomous and powerful and I can calm myself down. It means I have the power to change my mind. It means if I want to release something, I can.
I guess I also want to say I recognize I put myself in a better mood by affirming where I’d like to be. Affirming safety over fear. Affirming abundance over scarcity. Affirming love over hate. But I also know sometimes I just. can’t. put. the. cup. down. And that’s ok too. What I’m doing now is using EFT to release this stuff. Saying, “I am willing to release my need for: fear, or this condition, or this person.” By tapping away I increase my willingness, which allows me to truly let go.
Once I let go I feel true ease and bliss and grace. What I’m learning is everything comes from within. The way we feel, what we think, it all emanates from our core, which then translates into how our lives work. We have the power to create our lives and in turn the world. We have the power to change things. We have the power to create a world we wish to see but it all starts from within. Within you and me and everyone else on this planet. We are divine and magnificent beings realizing our brightness.
I want to live in a world where we feel bright and magnificent at all times. Where we all shine like diamonds. Where we recognize our worth, our potential, our greatness. Where we know love, give love, receive love. Where we feel ease and grace and bliss. Where we let go and let flow. Where we see our lives as one part of the spectrum, ever-flowing, ever-changing but always constant. Where we recognize all we need we already have. Where we see our God-hood. Where we recognize our oneness with all living things. Where we can put the cup down.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
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