All week I’ve been thinking about the starfish story. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, the story goes like this: One day a man was walking along the beach littered with starfish, also called sea stars. He noticed a girl picking them up gently throwing them back into the ocean. Approaching the girl, he asked, “What are you doing?” She replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”
The man said, “Don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!” After listening politely, the girl bent down, picked up another sea star and threw it back into the ocean. Smiling at the man she said, “I made a difference for that one.”
I love this story because it’s the reminder you don’t have to save all the sea stars, or all the people, or all the animals, or all the whatever. Even one life matters. It’s hard for me to remember that because instead I think of quantity. Quantity is what’s encouraged in our capitalistic culture. “How many views did that blogpost get?” “How many followers do you have?” “How big is your email list?” We think in terms of quantity because quality is hard to, well, quantify. How do you measure if listening to a song brought a person to tears? Or reading a book changed someone’s life? You can’t really. We try by saying, “Well, it was popular. It went viral,” but lots of things go viral.
Photo by Pedro Lastra on Unsplash
A compilation video of cats freaking out when they see cucumbers has gone viral – 24 million views and counting – but has anyone’s life changed as a result? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with cat videos, I’m merely pointing out whether something is viral is not a good measure of its quality. I have to keep reminding myself of this because otherwise I get too fixated on the end result. I start thinking about all the sea stars littered across the beach instead of the one in front of me, so to speak. And the one in front of me matters. It matters because every life is precious and also because every person cares about what happens in their life. We are all a little self-centered, in a good way.
What I have to keep coming back to is why am I even writing in the first place? Sometimes I write just for me. But the writing I make available for public consumption is for me and for others. My spiritual teacher said:
“In every expression, in every stratum of this universe, however crude or subtle, only one refrain prevails, and that refrain is the attainment of bliss. In that artistic movement toward welfare both the attainment and the bestowal of happiness find simultaneous expression. When litterateurs dedicate themselves to the service or practice of literature, they have to let their creative genius flow in this very current: They have to cleanse all that is turbid, all that is inauspicious in individual life in the holy waters of their universal mentality, and then convey it sweetly and gracefully into the heart of humanity.”
When I write the things that matter to me, I’m trying to touch the heart of humanity. I’m trying to share my experience, strength, hope, and perspective in an effort to let people know they’re not alone. Or to get them to entertain a new perspective. Or open their hearts a little more. When I lose sight of my intention, that’s when I start thinking it only matters if I hit a certain threshold of popularity. But it doesn’t. Because like the girl throwing sea stars back into the ocean, I may not be making a difference for a million people, but I’m making a difference for at least one. And that’s something.
I dream of a world where we remember quantity isn’t everything. A world where we remember quality counts. A world where we keep in mind our intentions. A world where we stay close to the “why” of our actions and use that as motivation to propel us forward.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I am the type of person who wants to do things BIG. I want to make a big splash, a big difference, a big impact, etc. A few years ago I went to Jamaica because I wanted to do big-time service but when I was there I learned service is the little things too.
I’m starting to believe I can find meaning and purpose in the small things as well.
Last week I would have told you to make difference, to really change the world, requires a best-selling book or a cure for cancer, something like that. Then I started thinking about it. I started burrowing down into the root cause of “making a difference.” Why do I want to write a book? Why is finding a cure for cancer such a big deal? Then it hit me: duh, it’s because it affects other people! I started to realize the change, the growth, the impact comes from the interaction with people. Finding a cure for cancer is only meaningful if people know about it, if the antidote becomes widespread. Writing a book is only helpful if people actually read it and it touches them, changes their way of thinking.
As I pondered this I realized my everyday life has meaning and value because I interact with others all the time. I realized the purpose behind my life comes into play with my daily actions. Saying please and thank you. Smiling. Acknowledging the homeless woman on the corner. They may seem like tiny, tiny things but I’m reminded of a quote by Maya Angelou. She said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Asking the bank teller how her day is going may not be earth-shattering but she will certainly remember if I’m snarly and impatient.
We all touch people everyday with the way we talk to them, with the feeling we put behind our words. When it comes down to it, the meaning and the purpose in life is how we affect those around us. I for one want to be the type of person who inspires, who uplifts. I want to touch people and let them know love exists, hope exists, God exists. I want others to see another life is possible, another world is possible. Life can be great and grand and fulfilling. Appearing on Oprah would be great but my creator gives me the opportunity to make a difference all the time. Everyday counts. Every minute counts. Every interaction counts. Here. Now.
These are not my permanent thoughts but I would like them to be. I pray for the awareness to become deepened. I want to wake up every morning with joy for life, joy for what I’m doing because I recognize my very existence is meaningful. I want to see the value and meaning and purpose in my life even though I’m not yet a published author. I want to feel like my life has purpose even though on the surface all it consists of is waking up and going to work everyday. I want to truly believe by spreading love and light everyday there is meaning in my life.
I have the same wish for others.
I envision a world where everyone everywhere sees the higher purpose in their seemingly mundane lives. I dream of a world where we understand how we interact with others is where the difference, the change, the meaning comes from. Where we realize it may not seem like much but smiling at the hot dog vendor has merit. I dream of a world where we pursue our big dreams of becoming doctors, lawyers, legislators, writers and yet still have sweet and smiling behavior on the day to day level. I dream of a world where every morning we all wake up with joy, joy for life, joy for what we’re doing. Where we find meaning and purpose and fulfillment in the everyday.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.