My very talented friend Krista Kahl hand-painted a shirt for me with the Pegasus constellation on it. I love this shirt. It’s the most interesting and unique thing I own and every time I wear it, I want people to compliment it. I have worn this shirt many times in numerous settings, always hoping someone will say, “I like your shirt” or even just “Cool shirt.” But they don’t.
As I wore this shirt the other day, I thought about what a former therapist told me: “The outside world reflects the inside world.” More specifically, “You don’t receive anything you aren’t already giving to yourself.” I don’t fully agree with him but I’ve found the premise to be true for the most part. So. Remembering that principle, I looked in the mirror and said, “I love your shirt, Rebekah! It’s so cool and unique!” Literally 30 minutes later at the chiropractor’s office, someone FINALLY said, “I like your shirt.” Ha! You can’t make this stuff up.
The shirt in question.
Why does this sort of thing happen? According to the spiritual philosophy I align with, everything is a thought projection of Cosmic Consciousness. That means nothing is external and everything is internal. It then follows how and why the same is true for the individual – that my internal world gets reflected externally. It’s why the law of attraction works (to a degree). This principle also aligns with cognitive bias.
Cognitive bias helps us make sense of the world and reach decisions with relative speed but a bias also means we discard information that doesn’t prop up our view of reality or a person. It’s why if I think the world is filled with liars and cheats, all I’ll see are liars and cheats. And if I think the world is filled with good people, I’ll see evidence of good people wherever I go. The outside world reflects the inside world but I frequently focus on the outside world instead.
While wearing my Pegasus shirt, I could ask, “What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they like this shirt? I could get what I wanted if only other people changed!” But I’m realizing, again, that when my own emotional cup is filled, it matters less what other people do and say because I’m already fulfilling my needs. To a point, anyway.
Human beings are not meant to fulfill all their own needs. We can’t live like hermits and become completely self-reliant because that’s not how we’re built, but how much are we ignoring the self in favor of the other? A quote that’s related to this comes from my spiritual teacher who says, “One who looks for Shiva in the external world, ignoring the Shiva of the internal world, is like one who throws away the rice that is in one’s hand and wanders from door to door in search of one’s livelihood.”
I’ve been known to do that – throw away the rice in my hand while I wander from door to door. I want someone else to offer me love, comfort, support, attention, and care and forget there’s already someone here who’s ready and willing to do that: me. And when I offer myself love, comfort, support, attention, and care, frequently someone in the outside world shows up to do that as well. Because the outside world reflects the inside world.
I dream of a world where we recognize sometimes we have to give ourselves what we seek from others. A world where we don’t discount the power we have to fulfill our own needs. A world where we remember when we do that, often people will show up to meet those needs. A world where we understand the outside world reflects the inside world.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
When I thought about what to write today, the answer that came to me was, “Take a break.” I think it’s both a missive and a message, meaning, I need to take a break, but also other people need to take one too. I can’t speak for anyone else, but for myself, I notice right now with so many things happening in the world, so many issues vying for my attention, it feels irresponsible to take a break. That instead I must be firing on all cylinders all day every day. I think it’s in part because there’s that pressure in the external world, but also in part because it’s how I’m made.
I am a fire sign. Not just astrologically (I’m a Sagittarius), but also my ayurvedic dosha is pitta. I want to do all the time. Resting is the complete antithesis of my natural tendencies but it has become clear to me resting is of the utmost importance.
Back in 2013, I was reading Christine Arylo’s Madly in Love with ME and she advised every morning putting your hand on your heart and asking, “What do I need today?” or “What do I need to receive today?” Today anyway, the answer is “take a break.” She also advises conducting an energy check-in to gauge how full your energy tank is. My energy level today is a 10. Christine says don’t give of yourself unless your energy tank is at 75-100.
One of these sounds great right now. Photo by Urip Dunker on Unsplash
I’ve gotten better at it over the years, but there’s still a part of me that pushes myself to do everything, anything. As soon as my energy tank gets even a little full, I empty it completely. That’s not something I want for myself. I want to be full of energy. I want to break free of all the mental prisons I’ve constructed for myself. I want liberation from the darkness and I want my magnificence to shine brightly.
I’m reminded of the butterfly here and how I, too, want to flit from place to place, soar high in the sky, and dance with other butterflies. However, in order to become a butterfly, I need to cocoon sometimes because unlike the butterfly, transformation is not a one-time thing for me. I feel like I’m constantly transforming, which would make sense given all the fire energy in my being because if you watch a fire, it’s constantly changing. And fires if they’re not tended to also reach a point where they burn out.
I need to shore up my energy, allow myself time to rest, to say no to things that drain me. I need to focus on myself so that I can become a butterfly. So I can help other people. So I can be of service. So I can live the bright and exciting life I’ve always dreamed of. It’s incredibly difficult for me to cocoon, to withdraw my energy from the world, to concentrate on me and only me. It feels wrong and selfish and uncomfortable. If I don’t do this, however, I’m going to remain a caterpillar and I don’t want to do that.
I’m writing this blogpost because I’m sure there are other people out there like me who are running themselves ragged, especially right now when the tools that used to be available to us are either nonexistent or severely limited. Regardless of what’s happening in the world, we deserve to rest because we are not machines (and even machines aren’t running all the time). We deserve to receive as much as we give. We deserve to take time out. Sometimes we need to cocoon so we can serve the world in an even bigger way.
I dream of a world where we all take a break when we need it. A world where we balance giving and receiving. A world where we love ourselves so much, we treat ourselves with care. A world where we know in order to turn into a butterfly we have to go into a cocoon.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I didn’t think I was going to write about this today but the topic has been at the forefront of my mind so here we are. Perhaps a little naïvely, I thought after my sleep got sorted the rest of my health would fall into place like dominoes lining up with one another. While it’s true being able to sleep well has made a huge difference in how I feel every day and how much energy I have, it hasn’t affected what’s going on with my digestion.
I notice even saying that my stomach tightens a little. I have some shame about my health conditions like they’re my fault, that I’m to blame. I define shame as the feeling on a fundamental level that there’s something wrong with me, whereas guilt is the feeling I did something wrong. That means when it comes to my health, a part of me thinks I’m messed up, there’s nothing I can do about it, and it’s all my fault.
When I mentioned this to my therapist he said, “Wait, so you don’t think that anyone who experienced your particular life circumstances and conditions would have the same problems?” Hearing that kicked some things loose and reminded me the body responds to stimuli. And furthermore that the trauma I’ve experienced in my life is always running in the background because it’s stored in the central nervous system. We used to think trauma was stored in the brain as a memory, but the latest research shows trauma is stored in the body. You might have heard of the book The Body Keeps the Score, which is all about this.
The body is not a machine as much as we like to pretend otherwise. Photo by Daria Litvinova on Unsplash
When it comes to my own trauma, I want to minimize it or brush it aside because it’s not as bad as someone else’s. I’m very aware of my own privilege and that means I compare myself to others and know my life could be vastly more difficult. Because I don’t have XYZ trauma, it means I operate as if the trauma I did experience doesn’t matter. Ouch. I am crying as I express that. The reality is, trauma is trauma. Pushing it away or minimizing it doesn’t solve anything.
I’ve cried off and on this past weekend as I’ve gotten in touch with how much the events of my life have affected me, and specifically my physical health. I’ve spent so much time in survival mode, putting one foot in front of the other, that I haven’t absorbed the impact of trauma specifically on my body. It happened in the past so it doesn’t matter, right? Wrong. Because trauma is alive in the body. It’s alive in my body. It’s manifesting itself in my digestive system which is in charge of what? Processing. I haven’t fully processed all the traumatic events in my life so it makes sense the part of my body that’s in charge of processing would also be affected.
In his book The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk said, “As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”
What I’m knowing right now, what I’m sharing right now, is the trauma I’ve experienced has affected me. It’s left a mark on my body. No amount of comparing myself to other people, to minimizing what I’ve gone through, or brushing it aside will change my past. Just as it was naïve to think getting good sleep would solve all my problems, it’s also naïve to think enduring traumatic events would leave me unscathed not only psychologically but also physically. As Dr. van der Kolk and many others have said, awareness is the first step in moving toward a solution. This is me, deepening my awareness.
I dream of a world where we remember the body and mind are linked. A world where we understand trauma lives in the body and it’s important to take that into account where our health is concerned. A world where we treat not only other people with love and care, but also ourselves.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
My body hurts. Not in a debilitating way. More like in a dull, aching, inflamed way. The pain reminds me my body is not a machine, despite my predilection to treat it that way. I have to admit I’m angry I can’t control my body; that it’s not doing what I want it to be doing. But when I dig a little deeper, I remember my body isn’t some irrational creature — rather it reacts to something. In my case, I’m realizing my body has stored trauma.
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, an expert on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with trauma survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. In essence, trauma is not only something that happens in the brain, but in the body.
The body has its own intelligence. Photo by Lucrezia Carnelos on Unsplash
I’ve spent many years unraveling trauma on a psychological level. I’ve read books, enlisted help from others, and engaged in practices such as EMDR to rewire my brain. What I haven’t done as much, what I’ve largely ignored, is the physical component of stress and trauma. Don’t get me wrong, I have a regular yoga practice and have seen energy medicine practitioners over the years, but it’s obvious I need something more because I have a long list of foods I’m allergic to and I keep adding to it. It’s not realistic for me to spend the rest of my life avoiding certain things because if I eat something often enough, I become allergic to it. A friend of mine joked pretty soon all I’ll be able to eat is protein water. There’s a kernel of truth to her joke.
I’m starting to see a network spinal analysis chiropractor. It’s a modality Tony Robbins said is one of the most powerful sources of transformation he’s ever experienced. This blogpost isn’t to extol the virtues of network care, but rather to bring more awareness to the body. How often do we get pissed because our shoulder hurts but neglect to ask why it hurts? How often do we treat our bodies like enemies instead of close friends? I’m absolutely guilty of this, but more so, I’ve been a bit naïve thinking I could experience some of the most stressful things possible and that my body would not be impacted. I thought I could carry on as usual. Turns out I can’t.
My spiritual tradition emphasizes the divinity in all things, and that includes the body. It’s my responsibility to treat my body as a sacred vessel, helping it to calm down and unwind from stress. Sometimes that means taking a bubble bath, but sometimes that means seeing a professional. I realize not everyone has the means to do so, but it is my sincerest wish that everyone has the opportunity to access that sort of care.
I dream of a world where we all take care of our physical forms. A world where we recognize our bodies carry stress and trauma. A world where we help ourselves heal in body, mind, and spirit using modalities that work for us. A world where our society honors and values the lives and bodies of all of us.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I’m currently in Seattle where nothing is required of me except the bare minimum — I still have to work, but other than that, my parents are doing a great job babying me. I’m having a difficult time doing nothing, so I thought I would repost this as a reminder there is value in rest. Here is a blogpost from October of last year.
If you’ve met me in person (or even if you haven’t, actually) you know I’m like a frantic “little engine that could.” I-think-I-can-I-think-I-can do any and all projects until my poor little engine starts short circuiting. So much so that even the hum of a refrigerator gets on my nerves.
Now that I’m in Arizona I’ve had to change my “I think I can” motto to, “I think I won’t.” It is so very hard to convince myself to do nothing. To rest. To relax. To lie on a pool flotation device and dabble my fingers in the water. I’d much rather be swimming laps or responding to emails or doing something productive. My little workaholic is horrified at the idea of spending an entire month lounging around and resting. What value is there in resting? What am I accomplishing by resting? There are no awards given for it. No gold stars, no praise.
True story, the temperature in Seattle is the coldest it’s been in FIFTEEN YEARS. I picked a great time to visit.
I mention all this not to throw a pity party — or to make anyone envious of my month of rest — but because this is seriously imbalanced. Rest is just as important as work. (I have to admit a part of my brain just said, “Yeah right.”) Without rest my body, my brain, my life all start to deteriorate. And I’m not just talking about getting eight hours a sleep each night. I mean taking time out to do nothing. Having a day where I don’t leave the house and don’t accomplish anything of merit.
When I rest it says, “I matter. I’m worth taking care of.” When I throw myself into activity after activity it sends the message other people are more important than me. World issues are more important than me. But they’re not. I’m not of use to anyone as I am right now — so dysfunctional I startle at every low, deep noise. So tired even after being awake for four hours I want a nap. I’m not blaming or chastising myself. This is the way it’s been, but I am making a conscious decision to change all that. I made a decision to put my health first the minute I said, “Sure, I’ll housesit in Arizona.”
There is value in doing nothing. There are three aspects to life: work, rest, and play. Neither should overpower any of the others because if they do life will become unmanageable. I’d rather not keep going down this road, thank you. Instead, I vow to do nothing.
I dream of a world where we all find balance between work, rest, and play. A world where we value each aspect equally. A world where we understand all elements work together. A world where we sometimes commit to doing nothing.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I am a fire sign. Not just astrologically (I'm a Sagittarius), but also my ayurvedic dosha. I want to do all the time. Resting is the complete antithesis of my natural tendencies but it has become clear to me in recent months resting is of the utmost importance.
My latest interest is growing my self-love tree, which means loving me on an even deeper level. Christine Arylo, the author of Madly in Love with ME, advises every morning asking, "What do I need today?" or "What do I need to receive today?" Every day for months now the answer has been "rest." She also advises conducting an energy check-in to gauge how full your energy tank is. My energy level today is a -30. Christine says don't give of yourself unless your energy tank is at 75-100. Whoops.
I need to be like the butterfly and cocoon.
I say "whoops" like it's an accident I'm so depleted, but it's not. I've pushed myself so hard to do everything, anything. As soon as my energy tank gets even a little full I empty it completely. Guys, this is not sustainable. My temporary relocation to Washington, D.C. was supposed to be an act of radical self-care, and it was, but I need more than a little time out; I need a full-on hibernation. Actually, I need a cocooning.
When I was in Europe I kept seeing butterflies everywhere. Not live ones, decals. On my hotel door, on the window. Yesterday I saw one on a girl's dress. I think the universe is constantly communicating with us, so of course I looked up what butterflies meant in shamanism. One of the most obvious is transformation. I want to be transformed. I want to be full of energy. I want to break free of all the mental prisons I've constructed for myself. I want liberation from the darkness and I want almost everything about my life to change, so of course the butterfly is showing up. Like the butterfly, I want my magnificence to shine brightly. I want to flit from place to place, soar high in the sky, and dance with other butterflies. However, in order to become a butterfly I need to cocoon.
I need to shore up my energy, allow myself time to rest, to say no to things that drain me. I need to focus on myself so that I can become a butterfly. So I can help other people. So I can be of service. So I can live the bright and exciting life I've always dreamed of. It's incredibly difficult for me to cocoon, to withdraw my energy from the world, to concentrate on me and only me for a change. It feels wrong and selfish and uncomfortable. If I don't do this, however, I'm going to remain a caterpillar and I don't want to remain one.
I'm writing this blogpost because I'm sure there are other people out there like me who run themselves ragged, who are burnt out on doing. Listen, you and I are important. We deserve to rest because we are not machines (and even machines aren't running all the time). We deserve to receive as much as we give. We deserve to take time out. Sometimes we need to cocoon so we can serve the world in an even bigger way.
I dream of a world where we all take time out to rest when we need it. A world where we balance giving and receiving. A world where we love ourselves so much we treat ourselves with care. A world where we know in order to turn into a butterfly we have to go into a cocoon.
Another world is not only possible, it's probable.
When I sat down to write this blogpost, the only phrase that came to mind was, "There is enough." There is enough time, money, energy, resources, and food. There is enough of everything. This is especially important as I'm wrapping up my life in Washington, D.C. I leave for Europe on Tuesday and when I come back I have about three weeks before I fly to California. My first impulse is to cram as much as possible into that time period, but I have to remind myself to put me first.
I think that's what a lot of what the past few months have been about, putting me first. I have a tendency to say "yes" to other people or activities without thinking about how it will affect me. I love my friends so much I want to say "yes" to every social gathering but I can't. Sometimes I need to say, "No."
I searched for ages to find an appropriate image to illustrate, “There is enough.”
On Saturday a friend texted me and asked what I was doing that night. I told him I had to rest and to pack. I so wanted to say, "Nothing! Let's hang out!" because I don't seem him often, and I wanted to make up for lost time. Also, when I was a kid, I spent many a weekend by myself, so I wanted to make up for my childhood. Because of my scarcity thinking and my past, these days I go in the other direction and want to binge on friendships and social activity. I want to say, "Yes" all the time. Reminding me there is enough of everything keeps me balanced. I don't have to worry about my friendships because they are strong enough, deep enough, _____ enough to withstand saying, "No."
Scarcity thinking is really another name for fear and I'm banishing fear from my life and my body. I'm choosing to believe there is enough of everything. That even if I don't get to see every single person I want to see and visit every single place I want to visit, that's alright. There is enough time to do it later. Some other visit. Some other trip. Some other year.
I guess what I'm saying is I'd rather trust in my creator, knowing all of my needs will be met. I'd rather strike a balance between activity and inactivity, between alone time and social time because there is enough of everything. I don't have to force anything and can instead let it flow and see what develops. I have that wish for others as well.
I dream of world where we all know there is enough of everything. A world where we share our resources to ensure that's the case. A world where we take care of each other and ourselves. A world where we say, "No," when we mean, "No," and, "Yes," when we mean, "Yes." A world where we trust all is well.
Another world is not only possible, it's probable.
Every so often I notice my blogposts take on a certain theme; they'll build off of each other. Lately I've been talking about self-care and treating myself the way I treat others. While listening to an interview with Christine Arylo I realized all of these separate pieces come under the umbrella of self-love. See, I used to think self-love meant looking in the mirror and saying, "I love you." But I have to tell you, even after years of doing so I haven't noticed much difference. I mean, there are some subtle changes in how I view myself but I still don't feel as if I love myself fully. When I heard Christine's interview the penny finally dropped.
Christine says self-love is about more than affirmations. In fact, there are 10 branches of self-love: self-acceptance, self-care, self-trust, self-awareness, self-compassion and forgiveness, self-empowerment, self-honor and respect, self-esteem, self-expression, and self-pleasure. Like branches of a tree, these parts of self-love feed into self-worth, the root of self-love. Here, I'll show you a nifty picture she drew:
After hearing all of this, it made sense why I've felt as if I'm missing something. My self-esteem, self-awareness, and self-expression branches have been massive. Believing I can accomplish anything I set my mind to? Check. Having knowledge of who I am and what I'm good at? Check. Self-expressive? Double check. The others though? Not so much. I can't really profess that I love myself until I take equal care of all those self-love branches.
Why am I dithering on about self-love? I operate under the belief the outside world is a reflection of my internal one. The more I love myself the more loving people show up in my life. The more I take care of myself the more I can take care of others. Self-love may seem selfish (and Christine addresses that in her book Madly in Love with Me) but honestly, how on Earth are we supposed to love other people if we don't even know what it means to love ourselves? How can I show up for other people if I can't fully show up for myself?
This topic of self-love has become so important to me in the past few years because as I get older I realize no one will be able to love me the way I want to be loved. The amount of love I want is infinite and no finite human being will be able to give that to me. I'm not even sure I can give that to me but I'm much more suited to it than anyone else. Also, I have to be honest here — people drift in and out of my life. No one is with me all the time except for me, so really, the only love I can depend on 100% of the time is the love I have for myself and the love the universe has for me. And really, why would I want to put such an essential and basic human need solely in the hands of someone else? I'd much rather balance loving myself and having others love me. I can't get all the love I need from other people nor can I get all the love I need from myself.
If this blogpost sounds like a ringing endorsement of Christine's book, it is. She has practical tips and activities for how we can love ourselves more. I enjoy how in depth her book is because the stuff I've been doing only works to a degree. I don't want a degree, I want the whole shebang. So in reference to the title of this post, what's love got to do with it? Everything.
I dream of a world where we all love ourselves fully. A world where we understand to love ourselves is to love others. A world where we fill up our self-love cup and allow it to run over. A world where we water every branch of the self-love tree. A world where we show up for ourselves because we deserve it.
Another world is not only possible, it's probable.
On Sunday it occurred to me my body is my friend, not my enemy. For years I heard the expression, “The body is a temple,” but I never knew what it meant. It sounds so hokey. “The body is a temple.” Ok. Right. I’ll refrain from drugs and alcohol and make sure to eat my vegetables. Done. Except not done. Not only is it important what I put into my body but my attitude. For years my body and I have been locked in combat. I’ve tried to beat it into submission to give me rock hard abs and toned triceps. Not to mention clear skin and smooth hair.
For years I yelled at my body for everything: for being too flabby, for causing me pain, for not working the way I wanted it to. “Why can’t you just do what I want and look the way I want you to look?!?” I thought I had to beat up my body to show it who’s in charge. On Sunday it occurred to me I’ve been approaching this all wrong. My body is not an enemy to war with, but rather my closest ally. You see, it’s just responding to my cues. Packing on weight? It’s probably because I’m feeling afraid and want an extra layer of protection. Breaking out? It’s probably because my liver needs a good cleanse. Everything that happens in or to my body is a signal. A signal of what I’m doing. Of how I’m feeling. Even my sprained ankle comes down to direction. As in, moving in a new one. I sprained it and then two weeks later got the notice I was getting laid off. It’s like my body knew in advance I was about to start a new phase.
Everything is related. Everything is interconnected. My body is not separate from me. We are one and the same. It’s only doing its job. It’s not my body’s fault when I get a cold. It’s mine. “Fault” even is a little strong. It’s more like I did x, y, z and the repercussion is illness. Why did I get sick in the first place? Could it be because I’m overtired and craving a rest? Tada! My body orchestrates that.
On Sunday it occurred to me I need to start treating my body with respect. Not because it’s a sacred temple I enter every now and again to pay homage to the gods, but because it’s my best friend. It’s my closest companion. I love my body and so my body deserves to be treated with love. It deserves a good cleanse. It deserves rest. It deserves my attention. Instead of shouting over what my body is trying to convey, perhaps I can listen instead. What would that be like? Living in greater harmony with my body?
I dream of a world where we treat our physical selves with love. A world where we respect our bodies and treat them as friends. A world where we know our bodies are doing the best they can, following our lead. A world where we live in harmony with ourselves and each other.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I left work early on Monday because I was experiencing some physical pain. As I walked home I felt overcome with guilt, even though my pain was legitimate. I felt guilty because I’ve been putting myself above work recently, taking time off to deal with a pinched nerve or an illness or whatever, and I didn’t feel like I “should,” or that was the “right” way to do things.
Last week I wrote about taking care of the self, which I obviously believe in otherwise I wouldn’t have left work early, but the guilt, oh the guilt, that’s another story.
I have an ex-Catholic daddy and a Jewish momma so guilt is practically second nature to me. This is not to say every Jew or Catholic lays on the guilt but it certainly was the case in my household. (By the way, I’m not blaming my parents because everyone is the victim of a victim. It’s how they were raised and what they know and I don’t fault them in the least. But I can choose to not make guilt a part of my life.)
Guilt is a kind of coercion into certain behavior because if you feel bad you’ll act a certain way, the thinking goes. For instance, if I feel guilty about leaving work early, I won’t do it again. Except that’s not really true. I felt guilty but did it anyway, so in essence guilt is useless. Guilt only makes me feel bad.
Underpinning guilt I think are “shoulds” and “should nots.” As I walked home from work on Monday a litany of “shoulds” filled my head: “I should have stayed at work. I should have pushed through the pain. I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t take so much time off,” etc. I felt guilty because I wasn’t following my shoulds.
Louise Hay says in “You Can Heal Your Life:”
“I believe should is one of the most damaging words in our language. Every time we use should, we are, in effect, saying “wrong.” Either we are wrong or we were wrong or we are going to be wrong. I don’t think we need more wrongs in our life. We need to have more freedom of choice. I would like to take the word should and remove it from the vocabulary forever. I’d replace it with the word could. Could gives us choice, and we are never wrong.”
I quite agree. What I’m realizing is there are no “mistakes,” only choices. There is no right or wrong, there is no perfect, there is no one way to be. Only choice. Only possibility. In essence guilt gives me the opposite message. Guilt tells me there is a right way and a wrong way and if I choose wrong, look out because the world is going to end and no one will love me and I’ll die alone in a shack in the middle of the woods and God will hate me forever and ever.
Oh wait.
I’ve felt guilty about many, many things, and as of yet the world hasn’t stopped spinning. I think it’s safe to say my acts of “wrongdoing” will not result in a catastrophic end to all humankind. So you know I don’t have to feel guilty anymore. In fact, I choose to not feel guilty anymore because instead I recognize my life is open and uninhibited. I recognize there are consequences for every action but fundamentally everything is a choice. Some choices I may like better than others but everything is a choice nonetheless. Thus “guilt” and “should” can vanish like vapor — I’d rather live in peace and harmony if you don’t mind.
I dream of a world where people recognize all the freedom to their lives. A world where people understand life is a series of choices and there are many ways of doing things and seeing things. A world where people give themselves a break and follow their intuition no matter what others say. A world where people take care of themselves and each other. A world where we live together in peace and harmony.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.