I didn’t know this was a saying splashed over Pinterest and Etsy until recently: “Everybody wants to change the world but no one wants to change the toilet paper roll.” Personally, I don’t mind changing the toilet paper roll but I understand the underlying message. When people talk about changing the world, they often think of something big and grand. They fail to realize the little things they do also change the world.
I’m guilty of this too. I have big dreams and pooh pooh the small things I do on a daily or weekly basis that make a difference in the lives of others, as if somehow that doesn’t count because I’m not touching millions. This week offered a perspective shift because I’m sick. Not just sort of sick but really sick. “Sleeping for 12 hours” sick. “Going through tissues more swiftly than I ever have in my life” sick. To top it off, I wasn’t sure if I had COVID because I ran out of tests and felt too terrible to walk to the drugstore to get more.
Sometimes it’s the little things that make all the difference. Photo by Diana Polekhina on Unsplash
While trying to psych myself up to run that errand, my dear friend and former neighbor called. I told them, “I wish you still lived next door because I’m sick and ran out of COVID tests and I would ask you for one if you still lived here.” My friend lives about a 10-minute drive away and said, “Oh, do you want me to drop some off for you?”
You GUYS. My heart melted. Not only did my friend leave two boxes of COVID tests on my doorstep but also a box of tissues because I am a veritable mucus factory over here. In the scheme of things, does dropping off supplies really matter to anyone other than me? No. But that’s the point, it mattered to me and changed my world. That’s what I often forget when it comes to making an impact.
I’ve written about it before, but all of this reminds me of the starfish story. If you’re unfamiliar, it goes like this: One day a man was walking along the beach littered with starfish, also called sea stars. He noticed a girl picking them up gently throwing them back into the ocean. Approaching the girl, he asked, “What are you doing?” She replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”
The man said, “Don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!” After listening politely, the girl bent down, picked up another sea star and threw it back into the ocean. Smiling at the man she said, “I made a difference for that one.”
We change the world by making a difference for one person, one animal, one plant at a time. Yes, sometimes it’s more than that, but even one life changed is tremendous. The point of service isn’t fame and acclaim. It’s not so people write about you in history books. It’s an act of love for the person, animal, or plant that could use some support. As my spiritual teacher says about service, “Try to make them happy with all the sweetness of your heart.” And you do that one person, animal, or plant at a time.
I dream of a world where we recognize the small actions we do can have a lasting effect on the people in our lives. A world where we understand service is about helping others when they need help. A world where we recognize that changing the world doesn’t have to be in a huge way, it can be a little at a time.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
It’s funny how often the same issues crop up. Except not really because as I’ve written about before, they continue to crop up until we’ve mastered them. I’m mastering how to let something in and then let it go!
Ever since I wrote that post last week about realizing my higher power loves me unconditionally and nothing in my life is a punishment, I’ve been sick. (I’m completely unsurprised because when I have a big breakthrough on the mental plane it carries over to the physical plane.) What happens to me when I’m sick is the trifecta of ego-centered feelings kick in: fear, doubt and worry. There’s something about being sick that brings out my irrational side. What I tried to do is say to myself, “It’s ok Rebekah, you’re sick, you’re irrational, you know this isn’t the truth, you’ll feel better in the morning.” Except that didn’t help. In the moment I still felt what I was feeling.
Since logic didn’t work, then I tried to fight fear, doubt and worry. I tried saying affirmations, doing EFT, talking to people. That didn’t really work other because like those whac-a-moles, fear, doubt and worry just kept cropping up! Every time I tried to subjugate fear, doubt and worry, they just came up somewhere else. Like when I was washing dishes.
So logic wasn’t helpful. EFT and affirmations didn’t work. Time to use my tried and true method of pretending! Pretending fear, doubt and worry didn’t exist. Pretending everything was ok. Pretending this was all a byproduct of illness.
Except that didn’t work either.
Pretending (also called avoidance) only allows fear, doubt and worry to fester. You don’t treat an infection by pretending you don’t have it. You have to expose it! So of course, pretending and avoiding I felt something other than what I did only created more strife within me. I think about an article I wrote a million years ago as a journalism student. I interviewed a bunch of women on life after rape and one of them spoke specifically about avoidance. She said you can keep shoving those feelings down like stuffing books in a backpack, but eventually one day the backpack is going to get too heavy and it’s going to break. Yeah.
So what do you do with those feelings? You invite them in for tea and crumpets. More than a month ago I wrote about my pinched nerve and sitting with that physical pain. Because sometimes all you can do is let the pain pass. I realize the same is true with fear, doubt and worry. Instead of resisting either actively or by pretending I don’t feel them, I’m letting them in. “Come in! Come in! Have some tea!” because only then can I release them. How can you release a bird if it’s not in your possession first? You can’t. I can’t let go of fear, doubt and worry until I let them in. And when I let them in I can release them and transcend them and turn them over with love.
I dream of a world where we all understand our feelings cannot harm us. A world where we let in all the things we feel so we can let them go. A world where we remain unattached to all feelings and instead let ourselves be. A world where we turn over control and instead experience each moment fully. A world where we let everything in to then let it go.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.