The other day I noticed an Instagram influencer with millions of followers and she has messages like: “This is where your excuses come to die” and “Don’t let anything stop you.” I started wondering, why are these messages so popular? Why does this woman have so many followers? And then it occurred to me, we’re all looking for mirrors, metaphorically speaking.
What I mean is we seek people, situations, experiences, perspectives, etc. that reflect our insides in order to feel safe. If I think I’m a piece of crap and completely unlovable, then I’ll be in relationship with people who convey those messages to me through words and actions. If I believe I’m amazing, then I’ll be in relationship with people who convey those messages to me through words and actions.
We want our outsides to match our insides. Photo by Ashim D’Silva on Unsplash
What does this have to do with safety? If something doesn’t fit into our worldview, it’s threatening. To go back to my earlier example, if I think I’m a piece of crap, having someone tell me otherwise will lead to suspicion. “What’s wrong with this person if they think I’m great?” or another common thought is, “If they only knew the real me, they wouldn’t believe I’m so great.” Eventually I’d stop hanging out with that person because hearing I’m awesome would be too triggering. It would then be easy to think my relationships are so terrible because other people are the problem, when in reality the world is merely reflecting what I’m projecting.
Why am I bringing this up? I’m bringing it up because it’s easy to believe life is better when something external changes, and that’s true, the external is important, but how many of us are working on our insides? How many of us recognize the connection between our inner world and our outer world?
According to the spiritual philosophy I align with, everything is a thought projection of Cosmic Consciousness. That means nothing is external and everything is internal. It then follows how and why the same is true for the individual — that my internal world gets reflected externally. I understand not everyone will jive with that philosophy, and that’s fine. The point I’m trying to make — and perhaps awkwardly because I’m still sick — is that there’s no difference between the internal and external. What we feel, we project and we seek out. We are all looking for mirrors.
I dream of a world where we understand in order to change our experience of the world we must change our internal reality. A world where we realize oftentimes the external won’t change until the internal does. A world where we realize we are all looking for mirrors.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I am en route to Vienna so I’m reposting this blog from April.
A million years ago I saw a refrigerator magnet that said, “You are what you think so choose your thoughts wisely!” I obviously agree with this sentiment – up to a point. A very wise friend said to me once, “The only true thing about a thought is that it’s a thought.” Yes.
I can get very attached to my thoughts, especially the negative ones. I can start to believe the ugly voices in my mind and it’s not always so easy to flip them to positive ones. Sometimes it’s easier to remember I am not what I think and I am not what I identify with. Giving myself some distance allows me to feel better because it’s true – I am not my thoughts, I am beyond my thoughts.
The point of the meditation I practice is to remind myself I am an expression of an infinite loving consciousness – I’m trying to reach a point beyond thought, beyond drama, beyond anything other than pure and perfect love. So no, I am not the insecure child within me, I am not the drama queen, I am not the writer, I am not any of the labels I adhere to because ultimately I am beyond them, I am more than them.
I really can’t express that in words because who I am is also beyond words, so instead I will leave you with a picture as a reminder. Whenever I look at images of space I am reminded I am more than this body, this mind, this life. I am that.
I looove space (as I think you know). It helps me feel expansive.
I dream of a world where we remember we are not our thoughts. A world where we remember a thought is just a thought. A world where we detach from our mind’s dramas. A world where we frequently put ourselves in a place beyond words and beyond time. A world where we feel with utmost certainty who and what we really are.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
A million years ago I saw a refrigerator magnet that said, “You are what you think so choose your thoughts wisely!” I obviously agree with this sentiment – up to a point. A very wise friend said to me once, “The only true thing about a thought is that it’s a thought.” Yes.
I can get very attached to my thoughts, especially the negative ones. I can start to believe the ugly voices in my mind and it’s not always so easy to flip them to positive ones. Sometimes it’s easier to remember I am not what I think and I am not what I identify with. Giving myself some distance allows me to feel better because it’s true – I am not my thoughts, I am beyond my thoughts.
The point of the meditation I practice is to remind myself I am an expression of an infinite loving consciousness – I’m trying to reach a point beyond thought, beyond drama, beyond anything other than pure and perfect love. So no, I am not the insecure child within me, I am not the drama queen, I am not the writer, I am not any of the labels I adhere to because ultimately I am beyond them, I am more than them.
I really can’t express that in words because who I am is also beyond words, so instead I will leave you with a picture as a reminder. Whenever I look at images of space I am reminded I am more than this body, this mind, this life. I am that.
Horse head nebula region. To get the full effect, this needs to be viewed on a full screen.
I dream of a world where we remember we are not our thoughts. A world where we detach from our mind’s dramas. A world where we frequently put ourselves in a place beyond words and beyond time. A world where we feel with utmost certainty who and what we really are.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Even if you've never read this blog before I'm pretty sure you'd know I was an idealist and an optimist just based on the title. When I interact with people who aren't optimistic, it bugs me. Today I've been asking myself why. Why is it so important to me people allow for possibility and hope for the best? I think primarily it's because when we say negative things we give away our power. Stay with me for a minute.
I firmly believe who co-create our lives because we are what we think. This is what affirmations are all about and this is the underlying idea of so many meditation practices. If you constantly think, "I am one with the universe," you feel one with the universe. Louise Hay has a great story about how she worked for a nightclub, I think it was, and everyone told her the boss was terrible. No one liked him, he treated everyone poorly. Instead of giving into that idea, Louise took the stance, "I always work for wonderful bosses," and you know what? She was the only employee he treated well. Words are extremely powerful and so are our attitudes. They set us up for how we experience life.
This is a small example but last week I moved all of my things into a storage unit. The movers kept saying to me, "I don't know, I don't think it will fit. You have too much stuff." My response? "Let's just try it. I think it will fit." And you know what? We had room to spare. If I had listened to the pessimistic movers I would have stopped packing, unloaded the storage unit, and paid more money for a bigger space. This is what it means to be pessimistic, to assume the worst under the guise of being "realistic." Maybe I don't want to be "realistic." Maybe I'd rather co-create a life where people treat me well, where I catch all my flights, where my stuff fits in small spaces, and I realize my dreams.
I'd also like to take this time to point out we are all vibratory beings. We are made up of atoms zinging around, so on a fundamental level we are energetic entities. Our words are as well. It's no secret I love Doreen Virtue. Doreen has a book, Angel Words, that shows quite clearly when we say something positive like "admiration," the literal graphic representation is larger. You can see the high and low vibrations within speech:
We all know this already. When we say the word, "love," it feels different than, "hate." For me, anyway, I feel it in my body. "Love" is expansive and open and "hate" is constricted and makes my chest feel tight. So of course it makes sense when we string together a sentence, it too carries its own vibration and has an effect.
Here is one of my favorite stories about being optimistic. A few years ago I traveled with a friend of mine and we stayed in a tent together. While we were out, it rained. My friend worried and fretted. She said over and over again, "I bet my stuff got wet." I said over and over again, "It's probably fine." When we got back to the tent, her things were wet while mine were dry. Now, I can't tell you that's completely because I believed my clothes would be dry, but I like to think it had something to do with it. I know that when I'm more positive I attract positive experiences to me. That's not to say I'm 100% in charge and in control of my life, because I'm not. Some bad things are destined to happen to me because of my karma or because of what I set into motion, but the things I can control? I sure as heck want to make sure they're as positive as possible.
I dream of a world where we look on the bright side of everything. A world where we see the potential in everyone and everything. A world where we believe in the best more than we do the worst. A world where we understand we co-create our life and therefore we want to make it as positive as we can.
Another world is not only possible, it's probable.
“Life is so hard. Why does everything have to be so difficult?” is a tape I often play in my head. I used to walk around life bracing myself for hardship, waiting for my next obstacle, expecting the other shoe to drop. I am much better now because I’m learning to live life in real time but a part of me still clutches to the belief life is grueling. A part of me still thinks life is a series of obstacles but I tell myself it’s ok because, “Struggle equals growth! And struggle is the essence of life!”
I am quickly abandoning that belief.
Yes, struggling is an asset but I’m rejecting the notion it has to be hard. I’d rather move past my obstacles like a river coursing around rocks – with ease and flexibility. I’d rather it were easy. And you know what? It can be. I’m reminded of the saying, “As you think, so you become.” Our thoughts are powerful – changing our thought patterns is the whole premise behind affirmations, the use of mantras, etc. If I think life is hard and difficult and complicated, guess what? Life becomes hard and difficult and complicated!
Sometimes my life feels a little bit like gears grinding into place. Rusty old gears. That take a lot of exertion to click into position. Why would I choose for my life to be like that?
I would rather my life were light and easy and joyful. I would rather do cartwheels in the grass and smile broadly. I would rather feel happy and at peace. I want my life to be easy. Life is what we make it, what we tell ourselves, how we approach things. Life is easy when I ask for it and when I think it can be.
Do I know for sure changing my thoughts works? I’ve heard tale but I personally don’t know yet. What I can tell you is it feels much better to say to myself, “I now choose to make my life light and easy and joyful,” than, “Life is hard and filled with struggle.” It feels much better to believe I can have an easy life so I’m willing to try to replace the tapes I play in my head.
And I have the same wish for others.
I dream of a world where people believe life can be light and easy and joyful. A world where people experience true happiness. A world filled with smiles and bliss and ease. A world where we all dance in the divine rhythm and flow along with life. A world where we believe we are taken care of in each and every moment. A world where we recognize the power of the mind and change our thoughts accordingly. I dream of a world where not only do we believe life can be light and easy and joyful but where it is.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.