The other day, a bumblebee landed on my window and it felt like both a message from my Grandma Libele saying, “Hello, I’m here,” and a message of hope. She wanted me to know that joy and sweetness are coming.
It’s hard to believe that. It’s tempting to say everything is awful and to build a case based on real-world events. There are some truly terrible things happening and humans have a negativity bias. We are primed to focus on the negative, and due to trauma (which we all have to varying degrees), sometimes our fears can be front and center. Trauma rewires our brains and bodies so we start scanning for threats. It’s a protection mechanism. All of which is to say it’s easier to believe bad things will happen rather than wonderful things.
However, my spiritual philosophy emphasizes the opposite and points out we’re all running after joy and happiness. We constantly seek pleasure in the finite world from drugs, sex, food, shopping, travel, etc. And not only human beings but all beings seek pleasure. For instance, cats search for warm, comfortable spots so they can curl up and sleep. We are all pursuing joy.
The ancient Hindu scriptures, the Vedas, say, “This quinquelemental world has been born out of joy, is being maintained in joy, and into sacred joy will melt.” I’ve shared that quote a few times because it’s so powerful: The world was born out of joy, is being maintained in joy, and into sacred joy will melt. Instead of being a cold, cruel place, the world can be a beautiful, joyful one.
Joy is on its way. Photo by Dmitry Grigoriev on Unsplash
That’s what the bumblebee was reminding me. In shamanism, bumblebees represent the honey or sweetness of life. The bee was saying, “Yes, remember life is joyful, it’s sweet. Good things are coming, and keep in mind that positive outcomes are just as likely as negative ones.”
Similarly, my spiritual teacher says, “On deeper analysis, we find that every object of this universe is sweet. Sweetness, not harshness, is the reality. [The Divine Beloved] no doubt deals many blows to the microcosms, but that is just to facilitate their progress. Judged from a materialistic perspective, every blow is apparently harsh, but actually it is not harsh, it is soft. [The Divine] is concerned for your well-being, that is why [It] resorts to that apparently crude technique.”
Everything is in service of sweetness, to move me closer to the Divine Beloved that is within me and outside of me. Even the hard things. Even the painful things. Even the baffling things. The loving presence that pervades this entire universe wants me to be happy, wants me to be joyful. I’m being guided to that and the more I can trust that I’m being led somewhere joyful, that life is sweet, the better. The world was born out of joy, is being maintained in joy, and will melt in sacred joy. I am a part of that world so I, too, was born out of joy, am being maintained in joy, and will melt in sacred joy.
When I’m down in the dumps, it’s helpful for me to maintain a little perspective and remember that joy is coming. To hold out for it because joy is the natural order of things even if I have trouble seeing it. Good thing I have bumblebees to remind me.
I dream of a world where we remember positive outcomes are just as likely as negative ones. A world where we work against our negativity bias and focus on the positive. A world where we remember the world was born out of joy and if we’re not feeling joyful, we can hold out for it because joy is on its way.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
One of my core wounds is around belonging. I would say that’s a consequence of growing up as the “weird kid” but these days I think everyone has this wound. We all want to belong. To be clear, belonging is not the same thing as fitting in. As Brené Brown says, “Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else.”
For instance, fitting in is wearing the same jeans as everyone else. Belonging is wearing the jeans you want to wear without fear you’ll get kicked out of the group or teased. Belonging means sharing your authentic self and trusting you’ll still be loved and accepted. I don’t know if this is a hallmark of belonging but for me, belonging is not only being accepted by one person, it’s about being accepted by a group. I may be accepted in a one-on-one interaction but what happens when another person is added to the mix? How about when there are three people? Four?
Things get more complicated the more people you add to a group. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but people are messy and flawed. Inevitably we fight with other people, we disagree on key positions, and then suddenly we’re no longer a part of the group. This happens all the time, even among people who are keen on creating belonging. Do you know why most intentional communities fail? Because of challenging interpersonal dynamics, of course!
It may seem like the solution is to find a different group, to continue narrowing your focus on people who are like you but anchoring belonging to other people is like building a house on sand – eventually, it will collapse. You can’t count on people to provide you with perpetual belonging. How do we find belonging then?
I can’t say what works for other people but what works for me relates to my post from early February about how we are nature. It’s recognizing as Earthlings, we always belong to the Earth. There is nowhere we can go on the planet where we’re not connected to the planet. If that’s a little heady, I’ve been imagining growing roots and anchoring to the Earth but also having the Earth flow its energy back to me.
I envision filtered Earth energy in the form of golden light permeating my entire body reminding me, yes, we are connected, yes, it’s constant, and yes, I always belong to the planet. There can be no falling out with Earth. It’s forever holding me, loving me, nurturing me. On good days and bad days, the planet is my constant companion. And not only the planet.
In my spiritual tradition, it’s said the Divine is your one true friend, your one true companion because it’s with you from birth to death and lifetime after lifetime. The Divine never leaves you, ever. And furthermore, the secret of meditation is to realize we’re being meditated upon all the time. We have love constantly raining down on us whether we’re aware of it or not. The secret of meditation is to become aware of it. One of my favorite blogs about the concept is from a decade ago where I write that we are the beloved. And it’s true – whether somatically from the planet or spiritually from the Divine, we are loved beyond measure and we always, always belong.
I dream of a world where we let ourselves be who we really are without fear. A world where we understand we don’t have to change anything about ourselves to belong. A world where instead of turning to people to meet that need for belonging, we turn to something more constant: the planet and the Divine.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
The most recent eclipse brought up so much for me – I cried buckets and let myself feel grief that had been buried for decades. In general, that happens during eclipses – people are more sensitive and emotional, and things that were hidden get revealed. It can be incredibly painful to look at something you didn’t want to look at. It may also feel scary and overwhelming.
To quote my friend Emma, we have default modes of thinking and being. We don’t question these modes and accept them hook, line, and sinker. And then when you realize you can choose differently, it’s hard to change direction. How are you supposed to let go of something you accepted as true for perhaps your entire life?!?
I can’t say what works for everyone but for me, I’m offering everything to the Divine Beloved. As Tosha Silver says in her book It’s Not Your Money, “The act of offering is a holy process. Anything truly surrendered is indeed made sacred. You’re not just throwing some mess at God, saying, ‘Hey, I hope You can handle it, dude, ‘cause I sure can’t!’ You’re no longer demanding, ‘How fast can I get my order delivered?’ Instead you’re softening and wondering, What am I learning here? How can I be kinder to myself right now? You take that unbearable burden and say, ‘I can no longer be an ego lugging this around like a pack mule. Please show me the way!’”
That’s what I want. To release the things that no longer serve me and recognize there’s a new way of being, a better way, a more loving way. Over the past week I’ve said to myself, “It’s true Rebekah, those things did happen. It’s OK to cry about them. Go ahead and cry as much as you need. And I also want you to remember that this life now belongs to Love and anything can happen.”
Love, love, love. Photo by freestocks on Unsplash
That’s another principle from Tosha’s book – that no matter what happened in the past, you don’t have to repeat it. You don’t have to replay the same patterns – whether they’re internal or external. You can have a new experience. When Divine Love leads, miracles happen. I’ve seen this in my own life with getting into recovery for an eating disorder, but also my relationship to money. I’ve shared before about how checks will appear out of the blue and that remains true. Instead of stewing in financial worry, I affirm all true needs are always met in amazing ways. And because I worked so hard to change my thinking about money, now I’m peaceful about it (most of the time) – when one client leaves, I know another will take their place.
What this past week is teaching me is the same process I used around money from Tosha’s book, I can apply to anything. She has a meditation about offering the burden of money to the Divine Beloved but I’m tweaking it to be more general so that whatever topic you’re struggling with – abundance, relationships, health, fear, whatever – you can cast aside the burden and let Love lead:
Focusing on your breath, feel yourself sinking into the Earth, your body heavy and relaxed. Get a clear symbolic picture of whatever it is you’re struggling with. Now, imagine that you’re taking this symbol to Love itself, however you envision it.
Feel that you’re now offering this burden to the Divine and that you’re saying, “Make me ready.” I’m ready to be shown. I’m ready to open to this, and I’m ready to have this belong to you. I’m ready to allow old restrictions, constraints, limits, and baggage to go.
Take me over and begin to do what my own ego never could. Take me over and begin to allow this change! Let me be uplifted and transformed. Imagine yourself offering the entire burden of this topic to that Force of Love. You may see a word; you may hear something; you may just feel it.
Know that whatever torture you’ve felt over this issue can finally be offered to God. What a relief. You’re finally really offering it, and you’re asking to be shown the right actions, from today onward. Those right actions will be shown, step-by-step, from the inside, all in right timing.
And then, as you’re ready, slowly come back out. Jot down anything that may have happened. Even the smallest message may turn out to be important.
What worked for me is doing this meditation every day until it felt true that yes, I could offer the burden of my finances to God. And now I’m doing the same thing with what was revealed to me during the eclipse. I’m ready for my life to belong to Love. Maybe you are too?
I dream of a world where we recognize we all have default modes of being and thinking. A world where we understand we don’t have to keep enacting the same patterns. A world where we grieve the past but also change our futures by letting our lives belong to Love. A world where we let Love lead.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
In addition to ghostwriting blogs for therapists, I also ghostwrite books. One of my clients and I spent nearly a year querying publishers until finally this week one of them said, “Yes, we’d love to publish this.” It reminded me of a post from April 2012 about timing. Enjoy.
Our society is obsessed with “overnight success,” but if you dig a little deeper, you will find that it usually takes years and years of hard work for a person to be successful “overnight.” I was reminded of that this weekend when I re-watched Mystic Pizza. Did you know Matt Damon is in that movie?
An 18-year-old Matt Damon as seen in Mystic Pizza.
He only had a line or two but still. He was a working actor and it took another nine years for him to become famous with the release of Good Will Hunting. And for Julia Roberts, it took another two years after Mystic Pizza for her to land Pretty Woman and become the highly paid actress that she is.
Why did it take two years for Roberts to become famous and nine years for Damon? What made each of those films “the one” that made them a star? I take it for granted that people weren’t always famous. That Matt Damon hasn’t forever been glossing magazine covers, that there was a point where he was a normal guy, playing bit parts, trying to make ends meet, and then the stars aligned, he had the right connections, and all of a sudden, he became a household name.
This is how movement works, according to my spiritual teacher. It’s systaltic like a heartbeat. Do you know how a heart pumps blood? I learned this ages ago in AP Bio. A heart is like a syringe – it fills up with blood, pauses at fullness, and then pushes the blood out. In all of life, we experience this cycle. It’s the natural order of things to expand, pause, and contract.
This will make more sense later. Photo by JAEHOON PARK on Unsplash
My spiritual teacher says, “[M]ovement through speed and pause is an essential factor for each and every animate or inanimate object. Wherever there is existential factor there must be this pulsation. An entity acquires strength and stamina during the pause phase, and emanates vibration during the speed period. There cannot, however, be any absolute speed or absolute pause in the created world.”
In other words, progress usually isn’t linear. We like to think it is – follow these steps and eventually everything will turn out. But it’s not true. Usually progress is filled with fits and starts. There are breaks, pauses, a whole lot of nothing happening, and then BOOM, full speed ahead. And no one knows why nor can they predict it. You can’t say, “Play bit parts for nine years and you, too, will become famous.” You could play bit parts for 50 years and still not be famous. Or you could play one bit part and then get cast into a lead role that catapults you into fame.
Why do these things happen? There’s a bit of mystery involved but I’m coming to realize timing is crucial. We’re like little popcorn kernels – we all “pop” when we’re ready. When it’s our time, when the conditions are right, that’s when we move forward. And not just a little bit, usually we take a giant leap forward like a popcorn kernel exploding.
I dream of a world where we recognize progress isn’t linear – it’s more like a heartbeat with a pause built in. A world where we remember sometimes you can work and work and work and see no results until finally one day you do. A world where we understand everything pops when it’s ready.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Lately I’m oscillating between shock, dismay, dissociation, and fear. And I know I’m not alone. My social media feeds are filled with people talking about how to take care of yourself right now. They say things like, “Take a break from doomscrolling” and “connect with your community.” It’s great advice and I’ve asked myself, “Do I also have something to contribute?” Other than what I already have I mean, namely my post from the other week about how we’re the “magic wands”? The answer is yes.
Something that helps me soothe myself and process my emotions is emotional freedom technique (EFT), also known as tapping. EFT uses meridian points to restore balance to your body’s energy. It’s like acupuncture without the needles and engages the mind because you say things out loud as you tap.
Lavender is also good for anxiety. Photo by Olga Tutunaru on Unsplash
EFT has been used to treat war vets and active military with PTSD. In a 2013 study, researchers found participants receiving EFT coaching sessions significantly reduced their psychological stress – so much so that more than half of the EFT participants no longer fit the criteria for PTSD! A 2022 meta-analysis found EFT had measurable biological effects in the dimensions of gene expression, brain synchrony, hormonal synthesis, and a wide range of biomarkers. In other words, there is a literal, physical difference in the body before and after tapping.
EFT practitioners use tapping for everything – anxiety, depression, trauma, physical pain, procrastination, even something like writer’s block. I find EFT to be very helpful, and if you’d like to try it, here’s a video from Kate Winch specifically on anxiety. Before you start, you should know that she’s going to start with negative statements and then move onto positive ones. If you don’t feel ready to start saying the positive affirmations when Kate does, pause the video and freestyle, expressing all the fear, anxiety, and negativity that’s still alive for you. Or you can rewind the video and repeat after her.
If you tapped along with Kate, I hope you feel better. I know I do. I especially appreciate how at the end she talks about taking inspired action. I know I’m not meant to do everything but I am meant to do something. And until I quell the panicked voices inside, I have no idea what that “something” is. EFT brings me more peace of mind so I can show up in the world as the best version of myself and contribute in a meaningful way. And I think that’s exactly what’s needed right now.
I dream of a world where we let ourselves feel our feelings. A world where we understand it’s OK to express the truth of how we’re feeling. A world where we use tools to regulate our emotions, especially mind-body ones like EFT. A world where we know there are balms for our anxiety.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.