Maybe It’s Not Finished

I’ve had an interesting experience over the past month or so. People whom I thought I’d never see or talk to again have been resurfacing. Not one or two people, either – five. Folks that I haven’t seen, talked to, or thought of in one year, two years, three years, five years have been popping up in unexpected ways and places.

So often I get stuck in binary thinking: “This person is in my life forever,” or “They’re gone for good,” but life is reminding me I don’t actually know. I don’t know who will cycle in and out of life. I think I know. I want to know, but there’s evidence staring me in the face of how wrong I am. To be clear, resurfacing doesn’t always mean reconnecting. Sometimes people show up again only for you to say, “Ew. No. Hard pass.” But still. It’s interesting when people reenter your life.

The whole thing is reminding me of humility. I don’t mean humiliation or low self-esteem. The word “humility” originates from the Church Latin word humilis, which literally translates as “on the ground.” Other words that mean “Earth” are also part of the etymology of “humility.” Being humble means keeping your feet on the ground and staying present here on Earth.

In my post from two weeks ago about grounding in reality, I talked about discernment and using the mind to vet information. But what I’m also recognizing is that grounding in reality means accepting we just don’t know. We don’t know the future. We don’t know if a project is finished even if we think it is. We don’t know who we’ll be connected to a year from now, two years from now. We don’t really know anything.

As a journalist, as someone who loves investigating the truth in herself and others, this is incredibly humbling. Over and over again, life says to me, “You think you know what’s coming? Baby, you don’t have a freaking clue.” That can feel scary. Or at least it does for me. But this, too, is reality. And instead of spending countless hours trying to predict what will happen next, it’s better for me to be here, now.

Do I sound like a broken record? I kind of am right now because I’m trying to anchor in truth and reality. I’m trying to live the principles Eckhart Tolle talks about in The Power of Now. He says, “Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome. Since the present moment is life itself, it is an insane way to live.” The present moment is life itself. Life is what’s here, now, here now. Even the hard parts. Even the things I want to skip over.

Life is always a mixed bag – it will never be all good or all bad. This is why every happiness expert talks about gratitude and focusing on the positive. There will always be something negative. Always. That doesn’t go away. But what’s positive about the present moment? And can I stay humble, recognizing I don’t know what’s next? Can I remember it’s better for me to not even try to know? That’s what I’m working on, anyway. And life keeps sending me reminders when I forget.

I dream of a world where we stay humble. A world where we understand we don’t actually know if something is finished or whether a person will resurface in our lives. A world where we stop trying to predict the future and instead live here, now. Because the present isn’t an obstacle we need to overcome. The present is where life happens.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.