Held by Love

I’m deep in grief at the moment, and while talking to my therapist, she encouraged me to let Love hold me. To let it act as a container. It reminded me of a post I wrote exactly 12 years ago. Enjoy.

When I ride the bus, it exposes me to people and situations I might not otherwise encounter. On Wednesday, I rode the bus and felt like crying hearing the stories around me – the snippets of people talking about being addicted to weed, the demeanor of the woman who looked ready to punch someone, the unhoused people camping out at bus shelters. My heart broke a little because I care so much. I care so deeply. Yes, my sensitivity is probably over the top at the moment, but I can’t help that.

As tears started to leak from my eyes, a woman walked on the bus and sat in front of me. Her shirt said “love” down both sleeves. In that moment, I cried even harder because it struck me that love is the container for all things. Even while I was crying, love was still there; in this case, literally. Love means it’s safe for me to cry, safe for me to be angry, safe for me to feel whatever I feel. All of my emotions, all of my everything, really, are held in the container of love.

Often, I think love is separate from icky emotions or things I cast judgment upon. I think there is love and then there is everything else. What I’m coming to realize, however, is that’s false. Love is not outside of all these things; love IS everything; it’s omnipresent.

Nothing escapes the purview of love; nothing is outside of love. There is a Sanskrit mantra that I sing every day, and one translation is, “Love is all there is.” For the longest time, I couldn’t wrap my head around that definition and preferred the longer version: “Everything is an expression of an infinite, loving consciousness.” But today I finally “get” it. Love holds everything, even war, disease, famine, and poverty.

Even when we think it’s not, love is there. It could be in the smile of a stranger, a call from a friend, or a feeling deep within ourselves. We are held in love even when we think we’re not. Even when the world is on fire, politicians are running amok, people are dying, and our lives are in chaos. Love is still there. This concept transcends language so to really understand what I mean, I invite you to pause, breathe, and try to feel the love that is already here, holding you.

I dream of a world where we remember in good times and bad, love is here. A world where we understand we are never abandoned by love, even if it may seem like it. A world where we let ourselves feel whatever we feel because we know that we are held by love.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.