I know I’ve written about this before but I’m human so sometimes it takes me a while to learn my lessons. Some may even say it’s a lifelong process. . .
Anyway, this year I made the New Year’s Resolution to be more present and stay in the moment. I feel like the Universe is conspiring to grant that wish.
About a month ago a bunch of my coworkers were laid off, meaning their work was turned over to me. My first response was, “Ack! There is so much to do! How am I going to finish all of this?!?” And then I started “future-tripping” or dwelling on what’s coming next, future conversations, events, etc. But my creator knows what I need and want before I know I need or want it, so all these situations are coming up to force me to stay present.
I guess I wanted to express why I like staying in the moment, why I think being present is a great practice. For me, when I stay present I feel serene and calm. I feel at peace and like I don’t have to worry about anything because I’m taking care of what’s in front of me as opposed to what’s ahead of me. I mean, I’m not sitting on my tush twirling my hair all day, I am working, I am taking steps to accomplish what’s before me but instead of freaking out about it I’m adopting the mindset of, “I’ll finish what I finish. And if I can’t meet all my deadlines, well, I can’t, and the world won’t stop spinning.” I say that and I feel so much ease. I feel the anxious knot in my stomach unclench.
Beyond easing anxiety, when I’m present I feel myself steeped in divinity. It seems easier to believe all that surrounds me is God. Right now the smell of Chinese food is wafting through my window while my curtain flutters in the breeze. Instead of wrinkling my nose or decrying the audacity of the smell to enter my abode, I can enjoy it. I can say hmmmmmm, smell’s like God. Hmmm, look at all the beauty before me. Hmmmm, look at what God has created. I can enjoy it.
When I spiral out into the future it never ends. There’s always something next, there’s a constant queue of, “This is due tomorrow and I need to contact her and her and then that’s due on Monday and oh yeah I have to do laundry and go grocery shopping and then I need to mail that package and write that check and. . .” it just doesn’t stop. When I future-trip I don’t enjoy anything! I miss out on my life and what’s happening. I can’t relax or feel easy or at peace. Who wants to live in that state? Certainly not me.
And because I believe in providing solutions, I’ll share what works for me. Besides really noticing my senses (what am I smelling? What am I touching? What does it feel like?), dancing brings me to the present because it’s just me and the music. I’m swaying my body in time with the melody and for those three minutes that’s all there is.
What also works for me is gratitude. Feeling grateful for what I do have instead of lamenting what I don’t brings me to the here and now. Breathing deeply also helps. (Isn’t that the cure for everything??) Imagery also takes me there. Imagining myself clenching dandelion seeds and then opening my fist to allow them to be carried away in the wind lets me surrender and stay in the moment. Lastly, affirmations have been working for me. Saying, “I live in the moment and take things as they come one day at a time,” or “I surrender to my higher power and let go of my desire to control.” For me future-tripping and control go hand in hand.
I dream of a world where we all stay present. Where we enjoy what’s before us and stop worrying about what comes next. I dream of a world where we feel anchored to the Earth and recognize the divinity in everyone and everything. Where we love our surroundings, live in our surroundings and stay in our surroundings. Where we notice what we’re seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. Where we live in our bodies instead of our heads. Where we feel joy and peace and ease and serenity. Where we live life to the fullest and savor each mouth-watering drop.
Mostly I dream of a world where we smile at one another, where we spread love like handfuls of birdseed. Where every person feels safe and content and whole. Where each person sees challenges and obstacles before them and deciphers the message God is sending. Where living in the moment means not over-thinking things. Where we do and say and express and feel freely. I want to live in a world where worries float by like white puffy clouds in the sky. Where I stay present because this moment is all I have.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
There is a concept in yoga that I have struggled with for years. Santosa, or contentment, simultaneously makes perfect sense and yet completely baffles me at the same time.
On the one hand contentment seems completely called for. To me it translates into not being greedy, to feeling satisfied with the amount of money, power, and esteem we have in life. It makes sense because resources are limited. The opposite of contentment brings to mind Ebenezer Scrooge, from Dickens’ novel “A Christmas Carol.” The fellow who acquired more and more wealth and essentially sat on it while those around him suffered in poverty. Clearly greed is a bad thing. One only has to look at how the desire to acquire more leads to misery for yourself and for others (ahem Bernie Madoff. May you see the error of your ways and may others learn to forgive you).
At the same time, contentment in the broader sense, such as being satisfied with what’s before you, being satisfied with your lot in life, completely confounds me. I just don’t get it. I obviously beat the drum for change repeatedly. So where does contentment fit into that? How do I reconcile contentment with my constant impulse/desire to improve not only myself but the world around me? How can I feel content with homelessness and yet at the same time work to eradicate it?
I think maybe it has something to do with knowing our limits, knowing how much we, on an individual basis, can accomplish. Yes, I can give the homeless man on the corner a granola bar and no, I am not in a position to build him a house. And while I constantly want to do more, give more, be more, contentment lies in recognizing I can only do so much. Me, in this body, in the position I am currently in, at this moment, can do no more than smile at the homeless man and offer him food.
(As a group however, it’s a different story. United as one is a different matter, which I’ve already written about.)
I think the other piece to contentment is living in the moment and feeling satisfied with the present. This is the hardest part for me. Truly. When I stay present and in the moment I love it, but it’s not my natural inclination. Rather my thoughts are something like this:
“Ugh. Why is it so hot outside? Why can’t it be cooler? This weather is horrible. I wish it was spring. I can’t believe I have to wait so long for spring to come again.”
I find it hard to enjoy what is, to not future trip, and I often wish things were different than they are. I guess I’m saying I think contentment lies in reveling in what is. Enjoying the moment, enjoying the heat, enjoying waiting for the bus, enjoying the situation you are currently in because you’re in it and it’s your life and it’s all you have. Sooo much of my mental energy gets expended on thinking about the future. Worrying, lamenting rather than enjoying what’s before me.
I’ve gotten much better since moving to California, (when you don’t know where you’re living two weeks in advance you learn to live in the moment) but it’s a daily process.
So I don’t know, I guess I reconcile santosa and service just by letting them coexist. Just by trying to feel content and grateful for what I have, content with what I, as an individual can do, and also working to change things little by little.
I dream of a world where everyone feels content and grateful for their lives. Where we work to improve ourselves and the lives of those around us but in a balanced way. I dream of a world where gratitude reigns and where we all truly live our lives because we stick with the moment. Because we savor what is before us. Because we are truly present. I dream of a world where everyone everywhere feels content, feels satisfied, feels joy. I dream of a world where daily we work to fulfill our mission on this Earth and also feel satisfied with what we’ve accomplished. Where we love what we’ve done thus far and also love what we will do in the future. I dream of a world where everyone everywhere wakes up feeling lovely because, oh right, this is life I’m experiencing and life is grand.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
This week someone I really loved and cared about died. What it really highlights for me is nothing is permanent, nothing is stable.
At this moment I feel extremely unsettled, like God reached down and shook up my snow globe, which is perhaps a good thing.
Recognizing nothing is permanent, nothing is secure, really forces me to be present, to be in the moment. I realize every person in my life, every object, every situation is a gift. It’s something to be cherished for the short time it’s around. People will not be in my life forever, which is all the more reason to enjoy them while they are. Recognizing the impermanence of everything shows me I cannot take anything for granted. Who knows how long it will be around?
All I can do right now is be grateful for this moment, for this experience, for this life.
The only thing I think is truly permanent, truly stable and truly infinite is God. God’s love is all-pervading. God’s love is stable and permanent and always around. And these things surrouding me? These people? This computer I’m typing on? It’s a manifestation of God and God’s love. I, you, we are showered with God’s love all the time. Death reminds me to be grateful for it, to enjoy it, to revel in it.
I envision a world where no one takes one another for granted. I envision a world where we are all more present, where we recognize our lives for what they are: a gift. I envision a world where we enjoy each and every moment. Where we recognize God’s love surrounds us always. Where we can feel the ocean of bliss surrounding us and not fall for the trap we need any thing or person in our life to feel stable because it’s not true. There is permanence and stability only in the moment. There is only God and manifestations of God. There is only love in its various forms. There are only gifts from on high that make life a little more enjoyable. I envision a world where we are joyous and happy and free. I envision a world where people fully embrace and experience each and every moment because this moment is all we truly have.
Not only is another world possible, it’s probable.
There are probably a million articles about how it’s important to visualize what you want. “See yourself winning that marathon, driving the Mercedes,” etc. In fact, the entire premise of The Secret is based on it. The message I hear again and again is, “Visualize the things you think will make you happy.” What if we skipped that step altogether and just visualized being happy?
I’m reminded of the movie “Peaceful Warrior,” based on Dan Millman’s autobiography “Way of the Peaceful Warrior.” Dan was a gymnast at UC Berkeley, well on his way to winning a national championship. A lot happens in the movie, but basically Dan gets into a car accident and shatters his femur. He gets a metal rod stuck into his leg. His coach thinks he can longer compete in the national championship but Dan perseveres, training on his own with the help of a guy he dubs Socrates – someone who helps him realize the power of being present. Dan competes in the U.S. Trials for the Olympics and wins.
After Dan gets his medal, a teammate comes up to him and says something along the lines of, “Wow! Can you teach me how you did that? I just know I’ll be happy once I win. If I can just get that gold medal my life will be great.”
How often do we think this way? How often do we say, “I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds, I’ll be happy once it’s the weekend, I’ll be happy once I get married.” Why do we think we need things/people/events to make us happy? Why not skip that step altogether and just go straight for happy? Why wait for it?
I think it’s great to visualize what we want. I want to publish a book (eventually) so I’m seeing it in my mind’s eye. However, I don’t believe my happiness is contingent on getting published. I don’t want to continue to put my happiness on the layaway plan. Instead of seeing myself happy X amount of time from now because I achieved X, I see myself happy right now. Not because I bought a new car or my boss gave me a pay increase or because of any outside factor. I visualize myself as happy. Now. I see/believe/feel myself in a state of happiness right now. I cut out the middle part, the illusion.
I dream of a world where people realize life is too short to put off their happiness. I dream of a world where we are happy because we choose to be, not because something happened to us. I dream of a world where everyone is happy a majority of the time. Not only can it happen, it does happen.
I know not only is another world possible, it’s probable.
I have a tendency to spiral out and think about what I’m doing in an hour, tomorrow, this weekend, etc. When I moved to California that practice ceased because, well, when you don’t know where you’re living next or where the money will come from to buy groceries, it’s difficult to live in the future.
However, now I’m settled with a job and an apartment and I find myself going back to that terrible habit. I find myself constantly thinking about what’s next, what’s next, what’s next. I bring this up because (I think) many people do the same thing. I think most of us don’t live in the Here and Now because I dunno, maybe we’re constantly searching for something better.
For me at least, when I continuously think about the future I miss out on what’s right in front of me. I never get to enjoy where I am or what I’m doing. I never fully experience anything because I’m too worried about what’s next. How sad! What a tragedy to go through life never fully living in the moment.
While I realize there is a whole book (several actually) to Being Here, Now, there are some things that snap me back to my present moment, that keep me from constantly living in the future.
What I do is try to be more physically present. I notice how my yoga mat feels beneath my fingers. I notice how my hair feels when it brushes against the nape of my neck. I take a deep inhale and figure out what I smell. I listen to the sounds around me and try to distinguish what they are, what could be making them. I bring my awareness to my tongue and discern what I taste. (You get the picture.)
Why is this important? To me it’s important to Be Here, Now not only because this is the only moment we get but because being present brings me closer to God. I find God infused in every moment but only if I experience the moment! When I stop to notice my surroundings, enjoy where I am, I feel God’s presence and the latent divinity in everything. Yes it’s easier for me to think about the future but it’s much more fulfilling to live in the present.
I envision a world where people appreciate every single moment of their lives (even the bad ones!) because this moment is everything. I envision a world where people enjoy what is before them and revel in it instead of jumping ahead. I envision a world where we don’t trudge through the day but rather appreciate it for the gift it is.
It is my firm belief not only is another world possible, it’s probable.
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