This weekend I too have been shocked and saddened by what happened in Norway. It seems surreal an event like that could occur. To add to the global grief, beloved musician Amy Winehouse passed away. It’s not the same as bombing a building or opening fire on a group of kids but what has been the same is the outpouring of love, kindness, and compassion for all parties involved. I’ve seen tweet after tweet, facebook post after facebook post of people praying for those in Norway, or lamenting Winehouse’s death. Both events are sad and in response to both events I’ve seen a lot of heartfelt messages.
That is how I know another world is probable. Because love and kindness far outweigh hate and separation. Because for every crazy separatist who thinks violence is the answer there are a hundred gentle souls who know better. There are people who instead of screaming invectives know we are each of us connected. There are people who instead would rather help a stranger carry her portable shopping cart down the stairs. There are people who instead would rather give of themselves than receive in return. For every act of hate I see 10 acts of love. For every person who commits murder I see 10 acts of giving life.
It may not seem like it now but there are more of us than there are of those misguided souls. There is more love in the world than there is hate. There is more joy than there is sorrow. This is not to downplay the emotions people are feeling, but rather to highlight them. Even amidst acts of tragedy there is kindness and sharing. Even after shootings, bombings, floods, tornadoes, tsunamis, etc. people step outside their homes and offer a helping hand. I know this because I’ve seen it. And in these times of heartache it reminds me even more how people are loving, generous, and willing to help. In times like these I see the best of people.
I dream of a world where we all realize love outweighs its opposite. A world where we revel in the kindness shown to us by strangers. A world where we realize there are more good people than there are mean ones. A world where we continue to overpower the hatred expressed by some with the love expressed by many. A world where all the gentle souls rise up and take over. A world where we know there are more of us.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Since probably January I’ve been saying “Yes” to life. Am I available to shoot and act in a book trailer? Yes. Can I do some urban beekeeping? Why not! Lead a workshop? Sure! I love saying “yes” to life because it opens me up to so many unusual experiences. Besides the fact I like to be of service. But there comes a point where it’s time to stop saying yes.
Last week during a retreat we were asked to think of a prevalent emotion; mine was overwrought. I felt so worn out, so depleted, and so tired because all I’ve been doing for the past six months is say yes. And because of that my adrenals are worn out, I have a thousand things on my to-do list, and lots of priorities vying for my attention. As I sat in a circle with my fellow yogis, crying silently with my mouth scrunched in an upside-down “u” and my forehead creased, a voice said to me, “You can say no.” I cried even harder because that was the truth. I can say no. I have the permission to turn things down. Usually I don’t want to because I don’t want to miss any opportunities. I like to embrace life because as a child I said “No” a lot and in some ways I guess I’m making up for it. Not only can I say no, I need to say no.
I need to say no because I am only one person and I can spread myself too thin. I need to say no because otherwise I put self-care at the bottom of the list. I need to say no because I get distracted from my goals. There is indeed a power in saying no, which any 2 year old can tell you. Saying no sets boundaries and helps define a person. When a toddler says no it’s their way of asserting their independence of saying, “Hey, I can make decisions for myself.” As an adult, saying no is my way of conserving my energy, of storing it up for what I’m really interested in.
This blogpost may not be so inspiring, but after running myself ragged grabbing a hold of every opportunity, it’s a relief to say no.
I dream of a world where we find balance between saying yes and no. A world where we take care of ourselves while also being open to possibilities. A world where we realize we can say no and it doesn’t make us selfish or self-centered. It means we’re treating ourselves with utmost love and respect.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Growing up in a spiritual household my parents have been extolling the virtue of surrender for years. And by surrender I primarily mean “letting God and letting God” while still doing what I can, because after all God gave me hands to work, legs to move, stamina to act, and practical intelligence so I might as well make use of them! Anyway, as you know I launched a kickstarter campaign to raise money to get my book professionally copyedited, designed, and laid out. (And if you didn’t know, I launched a kickstarter campaign! The cutoff is Friday and $15 gets you a free copy of the book!)
I can say unequivocally this campaign has driven me NUTS. A few weeks ago I prayed for peace – and I meant it but there was still the element of control within me. I still wanted to influence the outcome. I still wanted to do everything in my power to make. it. happen. I joined twitter to start tweeting about my book using hashtags out the wazoo, I e-mailed friends and family, I posted it to facebook, I pinged complete strangers who I thought might be interested, I prayed (and prayed, and prayed), I tried the whole “Abraham Hicks deal” of feeling what it would be like to get my campaign successfully funded. I felt gratitude for all the contributions pouring in and felt what it be like to have more. Yes, it all worked to a degree, but you know, nothing does the trick like surrender. Honestly, all these methods may work for other people but time and again the universe has shown me I just need to SURRENDER.
Surrender is a recurring theme for me because it’s the antithesis of my personality, which is extremely controlling. I like to plan for everything. I’m the girl who carries around hand sanitizer just in case! So perhaps it makes sense the ultimate answer for me is always the complete opposite of my innate nature. As I type that a little voice whispers, “Surrender is your innate nature – your ego’s desire to control isn’t. That’s what you’re here to remember.” Perhaps that’s why the title of this post is, “If it ain’t broke. . .” because surrender works for me. It always has. So why do I keep trying other things first?!? Probably because in some ways (all ways?) surrender is the hardest thing for me.
I’m rambling a bit because, well, it’s 11:42 p.m. and I’m flying to the middle of the country tomorrow, but I guess I want to say I’d like surrender to be my first choice. Because when I surrendered this campaign, when I said to myself, “I let it go and let it flow. I let God take care of it,” in that moment, that very moment my future sister-in-law e-mailed me a blogpost she wrote mentioning my campaign, I had a new backer for my book, AND a complete stranger e-mailed me out of the blue and said, “Your story and book I feel will inspire others and touch lives in a positive way … I feel it has that energy and I wish you the best of luck with it!” I know it was the exact moment I surrendered because I happened to glance at the clock when I did. I don’t know how many people will back my project or quite how this will all turn out but that’s the point of surrender – I’m turning it over to a power greater than myself to handle.
I dream of a world where we continue to use the tools that work for us. A world where we let go and let God. A world where we do our best and then turn over the consequences. A world where we accept there is only so much we can do and the rest is out of our hands. A world where we let whatever will be, be. In essence, a world where we learn the value of surrender.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Sometimes I think other people know better than me. Sometimes I think other people’s intuition is stronger than mine and that somehow they have more answers than I do. That their higher power is better than my higher power. That my own intuition can’t be trusted and that other people know what’s best for me. As I’ve gotten older the circle of people for whom that applies has narrowed, but there are still some whose word I take as the gospel truth. Or who I think ultimately know better than I do. On Thursday I had the painful realization that’s not true. No matter how enlightened I perceive someone else to be, no matter how intuitive or how wise, they do not know more about me than my own higher power.
The details of what happened Thursday are not important except to say I paid attention to my higher power’s voice during a kung fu exercise and then I was pressured not to. Instead of listening to my higher power, I gave into peer pressure. It was very small but I believed someone else knew better, that somehow I was wrong or confusing my higher power with my ego. Let me tell you: The other person doesn’t know better, didn’t know better, and won’t know better. The divinity within me always knows best.
On Friday I had a conversation with someone who asked me, “How do you know what your ego is?” I think it’s worth mentioning here. A ton of people discuss this such as Eckhart Tolle, Marianne Williamson, and numerous spiritual teachers. The simplest way for me to put it is the ego is crazy. The ego is impatient, demanding, angry, loud. Anytime a voice says, “Rebekah you must do this NOW!!!!!!!!!! I want, I want, I want!!!!” it’s the ego. In contrast, my higher power is loving, kind, gentle, quiet. Anytime a voice says, “Rebekah, it’s in your best interest to do this,” or says with gentle understanding, “You’re really tired so you’re not thinking straight,” it’s my higher power. The calm, rational voice is my higher power. The irrational and slightly hysterical voice is my ego. I have the tools to distinguish the two.
I’m reminded of a blogpost I wrote in 2009 about how the truth is within me and spirituality is about finding the God within. The point of this post is to expand that idea and say even the teachers of my path do not know better than I do. That my teachers are here to share information but they aren’t always right. That my teachers are to be questioned and my teachers are to be disobeyed when it’s not in alignment with my highest self. Because only I know what’s best for me. It’s hard for me to admit that, but Thursday’s exercise demonstrates that to me.
I dream of a world where we turn to ourselves for answers. A world where we separate out our minds from our hearts. A world where we listen to the divine guidance we are given above all others. A world where we trust ourselves. A world where we trust our intuition even if it flies in the face of what others say. A world where we turn internally because we know we are our own ultimate authority.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
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