I planted a “fairy meadow” mix in a pot outside my front door and the first flowers to bloom are California bluebells. I am utterly enchanted by these royal blue, purple flowers. Is the fact I’m so enthralled a happy quirk or is it by design?
I’m finally reading Robin Wall Kimmerer’s book Braiding Sweetgrass, where she talks about this phenomenon. Her book blends scientific knowledge with Indigenous wisdom, exploring the reciprocal relationship between humans and the natural world through essays on botany, ecology, and Potawatomi culture. In it, she describes how much she adores the combination of goldenrods and asters. The vibrant purple and yellow combination attracts her eye. Is that just true for her? Or for everyone?
Scientist and poet Goethe wrote an 1890 treatise on color perception and said “the colors diametrically opposed to each other … are those which reciprocally evoke each other in the eye.” Purple and yellow are one such reciprocal pair and that means our eyes are more drawn to them. But does it really matter what we humans are attracted to? Don’t the flowers care much more about the bees and other pollinators?
There is a reason for all this beauty. Photo by Ingo Doerrie on Unsplash
Wall Kimmerer writes:
“Bees perceive many flowers differently than humans do due to their perception of additional spectra such as ultraviolet radiation. As it turns out, though, goldenrod and asters appear very similarly to bee eyes and human eyes. We both think they’re beautiful. Their striking contrast when they grow together makes them the most attractive target in the whole meadow, a beacon for bees. Growing together, both receive more pollinator visits than they would if they were growing alone.”
That means beauty serves a purpose. Beauty keeps us alive. My spiritual teacher says, “Each unit being is vulnerable to attraction but the cause of this attraction is the imperative urge for self-preservation . . . And this urge for self-preservation, too, arises due to the desire for happiness in every living being. So it is clear that behind every attraction between one entity and another, which we call by the name of káma, lies the pure desire for attaining happiness.”
“Kama” in this sense isn’t the sexual or sensual passion that we so often think of when we hear that word because of the Kama Sutra. It’s attraction in its simplest form. It’s the attraction of a bee to a flower or a moth to a flame.
Returning to beauty specifically, when I’m in my low moments, it’s beauty that pulls me from the depths. Beauty is an enchantress that brings me closer to the feeling of magic, joy, happiness. Noticing the soft petals of a California bluebell, or the play of shadows on the wall, reminds me there is good in the world, that there’s more to life than the horrors we witness with far too much frequency. And that’s something I think we could all use more of.
I dream of a world where we understand beauty isn’t just beauty – it’s also self-preservation and a gateway to something more. A world where we understand nature is beautiful by design. A world where we not only stop to smell the roses, but we acknowledge them for what they are. A world where we can say hello to beauty.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I want to feel special, chosen, exalted. Unfortunately, I’ve been operating under the misconception it’s other people’s responsibility to do that for me. I’ve been relying on other people to make me feel special and guess what? It’s not working.
I know it’s not working because people tell me how special I am, how wonderful, etc. and I can’t take the compliments in. I don’t believe the person because as much as they love and care for me, it’s not enough. It’s never enough. I want to be the specialist special snowflake there is. I want to be the best, the favorite, the most loved. And I have some shame about that. Particularly because I’ve been told over and over again that everyone is special, no one is more unique than anyone else, etc. But in my mind, saying everyone is special is the same as saying no one is special, myself included. I’ve been operating from a scarcity mindset: “There is only so much special to go around!” but in truth, that’s not the case.
This picture. I mean really.
I think about a story I heard from Marianne Williamson on beauty. She walked into her niece’s bedroom one day and found the girl and her friends trash talking a supermodel, nitpicking every flaw as to evidence why the supermodel wasn’t beautiful. Marianne gently told the girls, no, the supermodel is beautiful, but so are you. The supermodel’s beauty doesn’t detract from theirs. There is enough beauty to go around. If that can be said about beauty, why can’t it also be said about uniqueness?
I also think about a few blogposts I wrote: “We are What We Seek,” and “Why We Matter.” In “We are What We Seek,” I was reminded the things I seek externally I already have internally. In this instance, no person will ever make me feel special if I don’t tell that to myself, if I don’t believe it already. In “Why We Matter,” I wrote about how we are unique manifestations of a Cosmic Consciousness, here to co-creatively birth something that otherwise would not have been in existence. Doesn’t that also mean we’re special? No person like you or me has ever existed before nor will they exist in the future.
The bottom line here is we are each divine children of the universe. None of us is more loved than another but instead of being loved equally, I think we’re loved differently. Our unique talents and gifts should be praised and appreciated but they should not be placed above anyone else’s because each of us is valued, important, and precious.
I dream of a world where we know we are each special because we each are different. A world where we understand we are a one-of-a-kind divine being who has never existed before and will never exist again. A world where we understand feeling special is an inside job and a gift we give to ourselves.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.