I’m recycling this post from five years ago so no, I didn’t interview for a job recently – I still have my own business – but the message about some things not making sense is still valid.
I interviewed for a job recently that sounded perfect for me. When I told my friends about the position, they all laughed because it seemed like such a great fit. It turns out it wasn’t because the company decided not to proceed with my application. It stings and also doesn’t make much sense to me.
I started puzzling why they didn’t hire me, trying to comprehend their reasoning. My therapist told me, “Some things don’t make sense, and sometimes suffering happens.” Ouch. Can that not be true? Thanks. It’s interesting to notice how much I don’t accept this perspective. I want a reason for everything. I want to know why. Why did a man try to run over pedestrians because he thought they were Muslims? Why did someone open fire on a synagogue during a Passover service? Why did a man shoot elementary school students?
Some things you can’t figure out. Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash
There are lots of possible answers – people are sick, they’re hurting, etc. – but there are many sick and hurting people who don’t kill others. Can I allow myself to instead grieve over the fact I don’t understand why people act this way? My adult self can rationalize ad nauseam, but the young part of me doesn’t get it. Doesn’t understand why a job that seemed so perfect slid away, doesn’t understand why people disappear, and certainly doesn’t understand why people are cruel.
I think part of this is because I prefer to live in denial, or an idealistic fantasy. I mean, I know bad things happen, but I like to rush by them as quickly as I can, like walking past foul-smelling garbage. It’s hard for me to accept the harshness of life.
In my spiritual tradition, we say the word “God” is an acronym. It stands for Generator, Operator, and Destroyer. I can totally get behind the generator and operator part. I’m all about creation and maintenance. The destroyer, though? Surely that’s not God, is it? It is. Black holes are God and death is God and decay is God. It’s painful for me to admit that, I don’t want it to be true, but it’s true nonetheless. This is the cycle of life, a never-ending rhythm of creation, operation, and destruction.
My spiritual teacher says, “An indivisible cosmic rhythm which started from beginningless time marches ahead to infinity. No creature can remain away from this internal divine flow.” He also says that which is beyond the scope of causality is liilá. What we don’t understand, what we can’t explain, is called liilá. I could spend my life trying to figure out things I’ll never have an answer for, or I can accept that some things just don’t make sense.
I dream of a world where we realize we won’t understand everything. A world where we allow ourselves the time and space to grieve the senseless and the tragic. A world where we understand that, too, is God, and that, too, is a part of life. A world where we recognize we are all a part of a universal rhythm.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Related to my post from last week about accepting the mystery is a Sanskrit word: liilá. What we don’t understand, what we can’t explain, is called liilá but the more literal translation is divine play or sport. My spiritual teacher says, “The numerous ways in which the divine game of [Cosmic Consciousness] is being played is simply beyond human imagination.”
So often I don’t think of life as a game, I think of it as a race. I’m trying to keep up with my peers and make it to the finish line as fast as possible so I can get my medal. But that’s not what we’re doing here – we’re playing. The distinction is important because as my friend Sohail Inayatullah demonstrates in his work of causal layered analysis, the myths and metaphors we carry are what deeply impact how we move through the world and thus our futures.
Sohail isn’t the only one to talk about the power of myths and stories, of course. You don’t have to be an academic or a therapist to know this is true. You likely have some experience with it yourself, either directly or indirectly. You probably know someone who thinks everyone is out to get them and they filter out all the ways people show up selflessly because it doesn’t fit with their worldview. You likely also know someone who thinks everything works out for them and it does.
It’s all just a dance. Photo by Ahmad Odeh on Unsplash
To get back to the metaphor of life as a game, what I like about it is that means things aren’t so serious. There’s less at stake. Not getting that promotion is no longer the massive deal it seems to be and instead similar to drawing a bad card and waiting for your turn to draw another one. Things are terrible now but just wait until you roll the dice again and move ahead three spaces. I don’t want to make light of the crappy things that happen in the world, of which there are many, but there’s a way to deal with the drama without it turning into a huge existential crisis.
Related to the concept of life as a game is something else my spiritual teacher said, which is, “Each and every created entity – whether crude, subtle, or causal – is vibrational and rhythmic. … The collective rhythms of all the rhythms emanating every moment from the countless objects of the cosmic imagination is called ‘universal rhythm.’”
My interpretation is everything has a rhythm – us included – and if that’s true, what if life isn’t only a game but a dance? Sometimes the dance is slow, other times it’s fast. Sometimes it’s partnered, or in a group, or solo. Some people sit out to catch their breath before joining but the dance continues. As my life continues to unfold, there’s something soothing about thinking I’m a part of a game and I’m not supposed to know what will happen next. Nor do I know what song will play next because I’m not the Cosmic DJ – I’m a dancer.
I dream of a world where we realize life isn’t a race but rather a game. A world where we remember the twists and turns is what makes the whole thing interesting. A world where we understand everything has a rhythm, us included. A world where we realize the music is constantly changing and that’s OK because we’re all over here dancing with the divine.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I asked a friend the other day how he maintains hope and faith when the whole world seems to have gone mad, and he told me he views life as a drama – there will be happy parts and sad parts and scary parts. He doesn’t expect life to be a smooth ride where nothing happens.
He also told me a particular scene we find distasteful could be pivotal to the story – in hindsight we may find certain actions were crucial.
I like his perspective – it helps me to detach a little and not become quite so dismayed at the events in the world. I’m not saying I no longer care, nor that we should sit back and do nothing. Rather, his perspective reminds me this is reality. I want everyone to be happy all the time. I want life to proceed in a straight line improving day by day. I want rainbows and sunshine and kittens prancing through fields all day long. But that’s not what we’re living in, and that’s never what we’ve lived in. Life is a series of ups and downs, twists and turns. And furthermore, there are good people and bad people, just like in any riveting tale. There are heroes and villains, and I hate to admit it, but the villains usually prompt the heroes to leave the house. If the villains weren’t engaging in some nefarious scheme, the heroes would twiddle their thumbs and maybe knit a scarf. Personally, I’d find that kind of story dull and would ask for my money back.
So melodramatic.
Similarly, real life is the same way. There are heroes and villains, there are wise advisers and fools. We all have our parts to play, but unfortunately, no one handed us a script or fed us our lines.
My spiritual teacher says, “When human beings bring something within the scope of their intellect, and by perceiving and observing it closely, can understand the cause behind it, this is called kriidá; and when the cause is beyond the scope of their thinking it is called liilá [or play]. Whatever the Macrocosm does is beyond the periphery of the human intellect, and that is why whatever He does is His liilá.”
My interpretation of this quote is a lot of stuff happens in this world. Some of it I will understand and some of it I won’t, and maybe never will. The stuff I don’t understand is liilá or play. My point of view is instead of agonizing over why this happened or why this didn’t happen, it’s better for me to take the mindset that life is a play, life is a drama, something I get to witness unfolding.
What I also believe to be true is ultimately the arc of civilization bends toward the beneficent. Ultimately things improve for all of us. However, getting there sometimes requires clash and conflict. Sometimes things get crazy and bizarre, like any good drama, before they are sorted out. It seems to me right now our society is in the middle of an important and intense scene, one that I’d like to believe is leading us somewhere better, but it won’t make sense until later on when the story plays out.
I dream of a world where we view life as a drama. A world where we realize the ups and downs are a part of life. A world where we understand we all have our part to play and we play it with gusto. A world where we keep doing our part trusting eventually the story will resolve.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.