Safety Nets

I really like safety nets. I like knowing if my plans don’t work out there’s an option B. Slowly my safety nets have been taken away from me and it freaks me out. My parents are renting out my childhood home in North Carolina so if my world comes crashing down around me I can’t move back in them. Not there at least. My, “in case neither of us is married by the time we’re 40 we’ll get together,” person is seriously dating someone, which is awesome, but nonetheless he’s no longer an option for me.

What I realize though is I don’t need a safety net. A safety net is an illusion anyway because even safety nets have a tendency to disappear. The thing is though, why even have a safety net in the first place? Why not just go all out and shoot for my dreams knowing I’ll be taken care of? That the universe is backing me, guiding me, protecting me at every moment? Why not go after what I want even if it seems illogical and ridiculous and completely unattainable?

I’m not sure I’m making any sense but I have a little story I’d like to share.

In 2007 when I worked in Washington, D.C. my coworkers had a Mother’s Day jewelry sale. I went looking for a gift for my mom and passed by a mother-of-pearl shell bracelet with a T-bar and circle clasp. I didn’t think my mom would like it, plus I don’t like buying parts of animals, so I went back to my cubicle empty handed. But I kept thinking about the bracelet. I wanted it – not for my mom, but for me. So I rushed back upstairs and purchased it (and said a prayer for the mollusk who died to give it to me).

Shortly thereafter I went to a WNBA game with a friend of mine. As we started walking toward the exit I looked down at my wrist and realized my bracelet was gone. (The bracelet is a little bit too big for me and so the T-bar has a tendency to slip from the clasp.) I started searching around me in a panic, checking my pockets, my sleeve, the ground. I retraced my steps, went back to the bathroom to see if it had fallen on the tiles. I scanned the crowded hallway and couldn’t find it. My friend and I went back to our seats and there it was, on the cement, directly below where I was sitting.

Yesterday while I sat at my desk at work one of my coworkers came up to me, with my bracelet dangling from his fingers. “Is this yours?” I hadn’t even realized I lost it but nonetheless, my bracelet found its way back to me.

Last night on my walk to the chiropractor I realized I lost my bracelet again. I scanned the pavement looking for it. I kept my eyes trained on the ground for six blocks looking for it to no avail. I probably lost it somewhere on my mile walk from work to my apartment. Since I work from home on Thursdays I couldn’t even look for it today so I called one of my coworkers and asked her to keep an eye out for it. But what are the odds I would find it? It could have fallen off anywhere. Someone else could have picked it up; it could have been thrown away by someone sweeping the sidewalks. It could have fallen into a sewer grate. In all likelihood my bracelet was gone.

This morning as I went to the basement to do some laundry I looked at the windowsill in the stairwell. And there was my bracelet, waiting for me. Of all the places it could have been, of all the possibilities, my bracelet found its way back to me.

I bring this up because some things seem completely illogical, unreasonable, and far-fetched but if they’re meant to be they will happen. If you’re meant to have something, you will. If you’re meant to be a famous actress, the stars will align. This bracelet belongs to me for now, wants to be with me for now, and so it keeps finding me over and over again despite all odds.

A safety net? I don’t need it because in truth there is no option B. My life will work out the way it’s fated. My dreams may not stay the same year after year, but if they do, that tells me something. If after surrendering, if after opening myself up to whatever is in my best interest I still get pointed back toward something then it will come to pass. Whatever it is will defy all odds. Miracles happen everyday. Just look at my bracelet.

I’m not going to tell you I don’t have any doubts some days, because I do, but I can tell you I’m trying to release them. I’m using EFT and affirmations and whatever else to truly believe what the universe is trying to tell me via signs and “coincidences.” I’m releasing all doubts because all I can do is aim for option A.

I dream of a world where we can trust in ourselves and the universe. A world where we shoot for our dreams full force knowing if it’s meant to be it will happen. A world where we know everything happens for a reason in our best interest. A world where we know magic happens and the impossible is possible. A world where we know our “safety nets” are our dreams because that’s what we’re being guided to do.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

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