Itâ€™s funny that I would title this post â€œunconditional happinessâ€ when for the past few days Iâ€™ve been an emotional wreck â€“ I flipped out on my best friend, cried to my mom, and have been feeling otherwise all over the map. I am by no means an authority on happiness (does such a person exist?) but I do know some things to be true for me.
After my raw post from last week certain things came to light. Iâ€™ve written before about not living my life on a layaway plan, not projecting my future happiness on winning a gold medal or whatever, but I did just that. I thought I needed to get exactly what I wanted before I could be happy. I couched it (subconsciously) as, â€œAs soon as I get X, then Iâ€™ll be happy. Then Iâ€™ll feel at peace.â€ My breakdown last week reminded me of the fallacy of placing the cause of my happiness on anyone or anything other than myself. I was reminded that I do not have to wait for happiness. I donâ€™t have to put it off. I can choose to be happy right here and right now.
How does a person even do that? How do they shift their feelings and feel whole and complete with whatâ€™s in front of them?
In a conversation with my best friend he asked me, â€œWhat is the purpose of your life?â€ and I responded, â€œLiberation.â€ And then he said, â€œWhat is the purpose of this life?â€ and I said, â€œTo experience bliss.â€
â€œWhat is the definition of bliss?â€ he said.
â€œI donâ€™t know. How can you define bliss? Itâ€™s an emotion. Itâ€™s a state of joy.â€
â€œAnd whatâ€™s joy?â€
â€œWhy are you asking me that? How am I supposed to describe joy?â€ (He and I have a very cantankerous relationship at times.)
â€œIt means to experience happiness.â€
â€œTo experience contentment.â€
â€œAnd how do you experience contentment?â€
â€œBy being appreciative and grateful for what you have.â€
Ah. Ding. Happiness starts with contentment. And even though right now my nickname could be senorita crazy pants, I recognize if I wanted I could change that. I recognize my mom will not make me feel better. I recognize publishing my book will not make me feel better. I recognize all the reasons, all the lists of things and events and situations I think I need to feel a certain way can be completely disregarded. I can throw those suckers in the trash not because they arenâ€™t worthwhile or they wonâ€™t come true, but because I donâ€™t need them to happen to feel better. And for that Iâ€™m grateful. Maybe Iâ€™ll get to experience bliss after all.
I dream of a world where we all experience untold bliss. A world where we live in unconditional happiness. A world where we live in love and peace and joy. A world where we recognize we decide how we feel. A world where love is bountiful and plenty and bliss floats like clouds in the sky.
Another world is not only possible, itâ€™s probable.