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Relishing Little Joys
I’m currently traveling and never have I identified more with the Charles Dickens line, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” The lows are low (no clean clothes for 48 hours! Diverted plane! An unexpected six-hour bus ride!) but the highs are also high. I’m meeting my friends’ children for…
Read MoreDiving for the Light
Many years ago, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about enlightenment. We compared our approaches – how I live in idealism, fantasy, and move toward the light. He told me his approach is more like crawling down the back of a scaly beast until he comes full circle at its snout.…
Read MoreThe Relationship Between Freedom and Limitation
As we’re approaching the July 4th holiday, a time that supposedly celebrates freedom and independence, I’m reminded of this post from five years ago. Enjoy. What does it mean to be free? Some people would say it’s doing whatever you want, whenever you want. But is that really true? In Rebecca Solnit’s excellent essay on…
Read MoreJoining with Another
I was invited to two weddings this weekend, so it seems only fitting to reshare this post on marriage that I wrote 10 years ago. Enjoy. So often when I hear or see depictions of marriage, it’s about finding a companion to build a life with, someone you’ll love forever, your best friend, the person…
Read MoreMeeting the Self
I’m editing a fascinating book about judgment. I can’t quote from it because, hi, it’s unpublished and also not my writing, but I can talk about the general ideas and also quote from others. My client makes the case that when we judge other people, it’s often because we aren’t tending to the vulnerable…
Read MoreMaybe It’s Not Finished
I’ve had an interesting experience over the past month or so. People whom I thought I’d never see or talk to again have been resurfacing. Not one or two people, either – five. Folks that I haven’t seen, talked to, or thought of in one year, two years, three years, five years have been…
Read MoreRemember: Life Can be Surprising and Delightful
There’s a Post-it taped to my bathroom mirror that says, “Remember: Life can be surprising and delightful.” I need this reminder because one of my trauma responses is hypervigilance. I’m constantly scanning for threats and waiting for the next terrible thing to happen. It’s a survival strategy, but not a particularly fun one. Saturday was…
Read MoreGrounding in Reality
I keep thinking about fantasy, delusion, and reality. A spiritual teacher I like was convinced Kamala Harris would become the next president. When Trump won on election night, she said, “Kamala won’t concede! She’ll ask that the election be investigated!” When that didn’t happen, this teacher said, “The election won’t be certified!” And then when…
Read MoreLet Yourself be Mothered
We are every age we’ve ever been. That means there’s still a 22-year-old, a 12-year-old, a 2-year-old, an infant inside us. Just because we physically age doesn’t mean those younger parts disappear. They live within and they need the same things now that they needed then. My inner infant still needs to be held. My…
Read MoreThe Universe is Conspiring on Our Behalf
Lately, I’m noticing how the universe is conspiring on our behalf. The right people are showing up at the right time to help my friends. The things that seemed impossible are suddenly possible. And in my own life, this happened in a big way with my novel. I’ve been working on a heroine’s journey novel…
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