Right now I’m feeling really contracted about money. I’m feeling contracted about money because I spent more this month than I usually do. And so with the help of Mint.com I created a
budget spending plan. But my knee-jerk reaction is, “Oh my god! I’m spending too much! The answer is to move out of my apartment!” Now, anyone will tell you I LOVE my apartment. My apartment always goes on my gratitude list because not only do I love the apartment, I love the location and I love my community in my apartment building. Heck, I know all the neighbors on my floor by sight. And not only that, I am friends with the people across the hall. I feel so blessed to be here. So why am I feeling the urge to move?
I’m feeling afraid I won’t have enough money even though I’m still working the same job and I’ve been paying my rent and all my other expenses just fine for the past 22 months. I’m also feeling the weight of “responsibility” and “shoulds” raining down on my head:
“You’re being irresponsible! You’re paying too much for rent! You should find something cheaper!”
I’ve worked myself into a fine little frenzy. Here’s what’s really beautiful about all this though. Right in the middle of this freakout I found $3. Literally, right in the middle of it. I opened up my wallet to the section where I keep business cards, and thus don’t look at often, and there was $3 just sitting there. It was as if God/the Universe were saying to me, “Don’t worry baby. The money will always come when you need it.” And that’s what I want to talk about.
I have seen over and over again when I need the money it comes. I get a check from the government. My former company reconfigures how they classify their employees and I get backpay. Someone calls me up to housesit and get paid for it. I don’t ever need to react from fear. I don’t ever need to “figure it out,” on my own. I don’t ever need to control a situation. I am working with the Universe. It’s not, “You need to find a solution,” it’s, “Let’s work together on finding a solution.” I’m not in this alone. The Universe loves and supports me.
The Universe supports me even when I think I’m not supported. The Universe is infinite and so there are countless solutions to every problem. If I say I want to increase my abundance that doesn’t mean I have to take charge and slash my biggest expense. It’s better for me to see what opportunities present themselves and it’s not in my best interest to try to wrest control my higher power. The best thing I can do is turn this over, surrender it, and see what happens, knowing life supports me now and always.
I dream of a world where we all recognize we are supported by the Universe. A world where we allow ourselves to feel that support. A world where we let go and let God, taking inspired action along the way. A world where we recognize we co-create our lives with a power greater than ourselves, a power that will and does stick with us always.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
1. If "money" didn't exist, what would you be feeling contracted around? In other words, what's the actual thing you're sensing a lack of? Safety? Clarity? etc.
2. Is there enough love in your heart to love another apartment? Should that be your path. That doesn't mean it must/should, but can you feel into that possibility?
3. How much money, specifically, would you need to no longer feel contracted about it?
1.) The actual thing I'm feeling contracted around is security, or I guess also safety. Knowing I have enough. Knowing I am provided for no matter what my bank account says.
3.) I'm not sure. A couple thousand more per year perhaps. Enough that I can save more substantially is what I'd like.