I’ve written about this topic several times over the years, but it bears repeating. Right now as I’m in a transition phase of my life, being self-employed and all, I’m building my faith muscle. Particularly, faith that everything I need is and will be provided. At the same time, I’m working to let go of control and to trust that all will be well.
This weekend one of my closest friends picked me up for an excursion. She asked me to be ready by 8:45. I’m a punctual person, but not so much in the morning. It takes me a looooong time to get ready and more often than not I’m a little late when it comes to morning appointments. On Saturday, I dawdled a little too long on my phone and lounging in my bed. Anxiety ticked up because I worried I’d be late. I don’t like to keep people waiting, especially when they’re driving over to my house. The anxiety escalated and escalated because by 8:30 I hadn’t brushed my teeth, changed out of my pjs, or eaten breakfast. For some people 15 minutes is plenty of time to do all those things. For me, it’s not.
My “Oh no!” voice started squawking and I took a deep breath and said a prayer, inspired by the new author and spiritual teacher I’m reading, Tosha Silver. She wrote a book called Change Me Prayers that invokes transformation by starting her prayers with “change me.” For instance, “Change me, divine beloved, into one who relaxes with great ease into the unknown.” In the midst of my freak out on Saturday, I said with earnestness, “Change me, divine beloved, into someone who is OK being late sometimes. Or have my friend run a little late to give me more time. I trust you and know that you’ll have what’s best for all of us happen. Thank you. Amen.” And then wouldn’t you know it, my friend was seven minutes late. It’s not very much, but it was enough to ensure I could finish getting ready.
It’s a small thing, but the incident reminded me everything I need is given to me. That there is a divine intelligence at play in the universe, and I don’t have to keep a tight fist of control on everything. When I’m anxious, I’m trying to make things go my way and worry that they won’t. I wanted to be ready at 8:45 on the dot even though I truly needed more time considering how I’d already spent my morning. Things unfolded in such a way that my needs were met, and my friend’s needs were met. When I pray, I open myself to my higher power’s will, which is precisely what my spiritual teacher advocates.
He says the best prayer is, “Do whatever You think fit and best for me. I do not know in which way lies my good – You know.” Because praying in that way is offering it to Cosmic Consciousness, it’s surrendering to something greater than yourself with the reminder the human brain only knows and sees so much. Do I know whether it’s in my highest and best good to sign that client or marry that person? No, because I don’t know everything. But God, Supreme Consciousness, Brahma, etc. is omniscient and knows waaaay more than I do. And furthermore, when I put my life in the hands of that loving entity, that’s when miracles occur and I witness over and over again that all is provided.
I dream of a world where we surrender to a power greater than ourselves. A world where we pray for what’s in our highest and best good to transpire. A world where we let go as much as we can and recognize everything we need will be provided to us.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.