What to Do When the Present Moment Sucks

You can’t throw a rock without hearing someone or something say, “Be present. Stay in the moment.” It’s one of the most frequent pieces of advice. There are books about it. Courses. Practices. I, myself, have written about it. I find it’s a lot easier for me to stay in the moment when I enjoy the present moment, but what about when I don’t? When my big toenail has been removed and it hurts to walk? When I haven’t slept well in three months? When instead of my dreams coming true, they’re stalling out? What then?

Yes, what then? My friend Ada Pembroke is an astrologer and she touched on this in a recent email. She wrote:

“We may say that we don’t believe that the body is the idiot step-sibling of mind anymore, but the story that embodiment kind of sucks is just part of the air we breathe. Personally, as a person living in a body with chronic pain, it’s especially easy for me to accept the story that the physical world is kind of a pain.

“I have good reasons for having this particular filter. It matches my experience of reality. It’s validating on mornings when I wish that I could roll over in bed and return to my dreams. It gives me a pass on days when I can’t remember a single thing I physically did because I allowed myself to escape into the life of the mind.

“And yet, the story the Chaldeans told about idols refuses to give me a pass.”

The story she’s referring to is one where spirits desperately want the chance to participate in the physical world. It’s so desirable that gods will willingly possess a carved block of wood just to experience a small snippet of the physical world. They would give anything to be on the rollercoaster of what it means to be physical.

It boggles my mind to contemplate that. To think the hardship, the pain, too, is something the gods would envy. And while I could tell you that by slowing down and noticing the breeze ruffling my jasmine plant, or hearing a bird chirp in a faraway tree branch that life doesn’t seem so bad and is maybe even enjoyable, I won’t. Instead, I’m going to quote Kierkegaard, who said, “Be with what is so that what is to be may become.”

I know it’s not the most present-moment quote I could choose from, but it’s the one that feels most true for me right now. When I’m complaining about the present moment, I decidedly do not want to be with it. I would like to run away from it as quickly as possible, thanks. And that may work for a little bit. I may find some temporary relief, but it won’t last. A saying I hear frequently in 12-step communities is, “What you resist, persists.” That means whatever I’m resisting doesn’t go away just because I want it to. It only changes when I stay, allow, and be with it. Only then does it become something else, even if that “something else” is just a fraction more tolerable than the moment before.

I dream of a world where we recognize being present isn’t always enjoyable. A world where we understand that despite the hardship, there’s value in widening our lens and taking in everything. A world where we realize even the hard things, gods may envy. A world where instead of wishing things were different, we stay with them until they become transformed.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.