Lately, I’m noticing how much I catastrophize. Catastrophizing is assuming that the worst will happen. It can also be believing you’re in a worse situation than you really are or exaggerating the difficulties you face. For me, it’s the former, assuming the worst will happen. I don’t catastrophize every situation. The ones that I feel are within my control I’m optimistic about. For instance, I’m not someone who says, “I’ll miss my flight!” because I know I leave plenty of time to get to the airport.
My catastrophizing is along the lines of “My plants are going to die while I’m in Australia!” I’m setting up a water-wick system for my indoor plants but nonetheless, I’m pretty convinced it will fail. And the idea of asking someone to water them also brings catastrophizing, “What if they forget and my plants would have been better off with the water-wicking system?!?”
Maybe my plants will be fine! Photo by Katya Ross on Unsplash
As you can see, it’s loads of fun over here in my brain. A solution I keep circling is: “Give equal air time to things working out.” I care deeply about fairness so hearing it phrased that way helps me. I say to myself, “You’re not being fair and equal by only focusing on the negative. What if you devoted the same amount of time to things working out? What if your plants are healthy and thriving when you get back?”
Even asking those questions causes my brain to short-circuit a little because honestly, I hadn’t considered that possibility. What if everything works out? It’s true. Everything could work out. It’s just as likely my plants will be alive when I come back instead of dead. Why not focus on the positive outcome?
The brain is a muscle that needs training like the other muscles. I have to train myself to be optimistic and it’s something my spiritual teacher encourages when he says, “Human beings must not be pessimists under any circumstances. I am an incorrigible optimist, for I know that optimism is the very essence of life.”
That statement is backed up by science in the sense that optimists live longer, the Washington Post found. Optimists lived into their 90s versus the average life span of 83. And the results remained even after accounting for other factors known to predict a long life such as education level, economic status, ethnicity, and whether a person had depression or chronic health conditions.
Yes, it’s easier to default to the negative because after all, we humans are prone to a negativity bias, but why not at least give the positive equal air time? It’s only fair and could help me live longer to boot.
I dream of a world where we allow ourselves to catastrophize as well as positively visualize the future. A world where we remember positive and negative outcomes are both likely. A world where we train our minds to be optimistic. A world where we give equal airtime to the positive.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
When I first started writing this blog many moons ago my friend Heather told me, “Rebekah, in order to birth another world is probable you have to believe it.” She reminded me to stay positive, to stay uplifted and inspired. I feel like this week has been a real test of that.
I just wanted to say I know it’s really easy to focus on the negative and all the headaches and drama when it comes to organizing something this massive and intricate. At such times I think it’s important to be reminded why we are doing this in the first place. Why we said, “Yes! Sign me up!” I want us to focus on our end goal and not get caught up in the nitty gritty along the way.I won’t speak for everyone but I will say for myself I’m doing this because I love God. I agreed to organize this retreat because I truly believe in the power of our ideology and our practices. I agreed to organize this retreat because I want people to know the divine source within. I’m doing this because I want to help people on their path to enlightenment in any way I can.
It is my deepest wish people will walk away from this retreat feeling the divine love that permeates all of our creation. It is my deepest wish people will go home feeling inspired, uplifted, overjoyed. Retreats? Retreats are a time to focus on spirituality, to deepen our meditation and have the most pressing concern be making it to programs on time.
What we focus on grows. I want my inspiration and love to grow. What about you?
This weekend I got to talking about astrology with a friend of mine. He’s really into it so I asked him to pull up my birth chart. (For those of you who don’t know astrology is more than your horoscope. It’s complex and involves your birthday, birth time and location.) Anyway, he pulled it up and told me some things that really irked me, that really got under my skin.
I have to admit here I love astrology. I used to say things like, “Oooh, you’ll get along famously because you’re a Taurus and she’s a Cancer. That’s a really good combination.” I used to be all about the Sun squaring Mercury and Venus conjucting his moon or whatever. After my conversation with my friend though, I realized there has been a contradiction in my beliefs. How can I truly think anything is possible (and probable) if I’m operating under the notion the stars exert influence on me? That my life is destined to go a certain way because of my birth date? (I realize some of you may think astrology is bull hockey but just substitute astrology for “personality trait” or “upbringing” or “background” or whatever fits for you.)
What I’m saying is I think we were all born into this world with something. I’m not in John Locke’s tabula rasa camp. I think we all came into this world with innate tendencies, certain characteristics, karma, if you will, to rise above. But that’s the point: we can rise above anything. It may say in my astrological chart that I burn through money but that’s not the way my life always has to be. It’s something for me to take note of, to watch out for but that I can change. I can change anything. My mind is more powerful than I know and the thoughts I project into this universe come back to me. If I think I will always be poor, I will be. If I think I will be rich, I will be. There is of course action that is also required. If my chart says I’ll be wealthy that doesn’t mean it will happen if I sit on my tush all day and wait for money to fall from the sky. (Although since I’m allowing for all possibilities I have to say this may happen to some people.)
What I’m saying is I think there is an element of destiny in everyone’s life. There are certain things that must happen due to actions we set in motion, either in this life or a previous one. It’s a law of nature that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. It may be my destiny to get in a car accident but that accident may be a fender bender, crunching up the hood, or a crash replete with flips and crushed metal and broken glass. The severity of things can change. And how I react to situations is up to me. I can say, “Dear Lord, thank you for keeping me safe, for softening the blow of this accident, for taking care of me always,” or “Why are you doing this to me?!? I hate you!!! Everything sucks!!!” Life is what you make it.
There are certain things that must happen but there is still an element of free will. My thoughts still have an effect. My actions still mean something. Just because I came into the world with something doesn’t mean it has to stay with me. I guess I’m saying destiny can change, fate can be altered. The future isn’t set in stone. Astrologically I may be suited for a job as an engineer but if in my heart I want to be a ballerina I can be. I can be anything, I can do anything, I can have anything with God’s grace. There are no limitations. No matter what the stars say, no matter what personality traits we may have, no matter what our upbringing, we can do anything, we can change anything. I’m reminded of an affirmation I posted in April because I think it’s pertinent:
“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete, and yet life is ever changing. There is no beginning and no end, only a constant cycling and recycling of substance and experiences. Life is never stuck or static or stale, for each moment is ever new and fresh. I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power has given me the power to create my own circumstances. I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power of my own mind to use in any way I choose. Every moment of life is a new beginning point as we move from the old. This moment is a new point of beginning for me right here and right now. All is well in my world.” – Louise L. Hay
I can change, you can change, we can change. We are all powerful beyond measure. We were given certain circumstances, certain characteristics in this life to work through, to work on, but life is what we make it. I choose to live life the way I want. And I have that wish for others.
I dream of a world where we rise above our circumstances, where we veer off the roadmap given to us at birth and make our own way. I dream of a world where we decide what we want in life and then go after it, knowing anything is possible. I dream of a world filled with joy and love and grace. A world where we account for free will and the power of choice. A world where we understand things can change, do change, will change. A world where we recognize the power of our minds and the part we play in our life. A world where we know we can manifest anything and we can change ourselves and our relationships. A world where we know the power is within us at all times.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
“Life is so hard. Why does everything have to be so difficult?” is a tape I often play in my head. I used to walk around life bracing myself for hardship, waiting for my next obstacle, expecting the other shoe to drop. I am much better now because I’m learning to live life in real time but a part of me still clutches to the belief life is grueling. A part of me still thinks life is a series of obstacles but I tell myself it’s ok because, “Struggle equals growth! And struggle is the essence of life!”
I am quickly abandoning that belief.
Yes, struggling is an asset but I’m rejecting the notion it has to be hard. I’d rather move past my obstacles like a river coursing around rocks – with ease and flexibility. I’d rather it were easy. And you know what? It can be. I’m reminded of the saying, “As you think, so you become.” Our thoughts are powerful – changing our thought patterns is the whole premise behind affirmations, the use of mantras, etc. If I think life is hard and difficult and complicated, guess what? Life becomes hard and difficult and complicated!
Sometimes my life feels a little bit like gears grinding into place. Rusty old gears. That take a lot of exertion to click into position. Why would I choose for my life to be like that?
I would rather my life were light and easy and joyful. I would rather do cartwheels in the grass and smile broadly. I would rather feel happy and at peace. I want my life to be easy. Life is what we make it, what we tell ourselves, how we approach things. Life is easy when I ask for it and when I think it can be.
Do I know for sure changing my thoughts works? I’ve heard tale but I personally don’t know yet. What I can tell you is it feels much better to say to myself, “I now choose to make my life light and easy and joyful,” than, “Life is hard and filled with struggle.” It feels much better to believe I can have an easy life so I’m willing to try to replace the tapes I play in my head.
And I have the same wish for others.
I dream of a world where people believe life can be light and easy and joyful. A world where people experience true happiness. A world filled with smiles and bliss and ease. A world where we all dance in the divine rhythm and flow along with life. A world where we believe we are taken care of in each and every moment. A world where we recognize the power of the mind and change our thoughts accordingly. I dream of a world where not only do we believe life can be light and easy and joyful but where it is.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I am the type of person who wants to do things BIG. I want to make a big splash, a big difference, a big impact, etc. A few years ago I went to Jamaica because I wanted to do big-time service but when I was there I learned service is the little things too.
I’m starting to believe I can find meaning and purpose in the small things as well.
Last week I would have told you to make difference, to really change the world, requires a best-selling book or a cure for cancer, something like that. Then I started thinking about it. I started burrowing down into the root cause of “making a difference.” Why do I want to write a book? Why is finding a cure for cancer such a big deal? Then it hit me: duh, it’s because it affects other people! I started to realize the change, the growth, the impact comes from the interaction with people. Finding a cure for cancer is only meaningful if people know about it, if the antidote becomes widespread. Writing a book is only helpful if people actually read it and it touches them, changes their way of thinking.
As I pondered this I realized my everyday life has meaning and value because I interact with others all the time. I realized the purpose behind my life comes into play with my daily actions. Saying please and thank you. Smiling. Acknowledging the homeless woman on the corner. They may seem like tiny, tiny things but I’m reminded of a quote by Maya Angelou. She said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Asking the bank teller how her day is going may not be earth-shattering but she will certainly remember if I’m snarly and impatient.
We all touch people everyday with the way we talk to them, with the feeling we put behind our words. When it comes down to it, the meaning and the purpose in life is how we affect those around us. I for one want to be the type of person who inspires, who uplifts. I want to touch people and let them know love exists, hope exists, God exists. I want others to see another life is possible, another world is possible. Life can be great and grand and fulfilling. Appearing on Oprah would be great but my creator gives me the opportunity to make a difference all the time. Everyday counts. Every minute counts. Every interaction counts. Here. Now.
These are not my permanent thoughts but I would like them to be. I pray for the awareness to become deepened. I want to wake up every morning with joy for life, joy for what I’m doing because I recognize my very existence is meaningful. I want to see the value and meaning and purpose in my life even though I’m not yet a published author. I want to feel like my life has purpose even though on the surface all it consists of is waking up and going to work everyday. I want to truly believe by spreading love and light everyday there is meaning in my life.
I have the same wish for others.
I envision a world where everyone everywhere sees the higher purpose in their seemingly mundane lives. I dream of a world where we understand how we interact with others is where the difference, the change, the meaning comes from. Where we realize it may not seem like much but smiling at the hot dog vendor has merit. I dream of a world where we pursue our big dreams of becoming doctors, lawyers, legislators, writers and yet still have sweet and smiling behavior on the day to day level. I dream of a world where every morning we all wake up with joy, joy for life, joy for what we’re doing. Where we find meaning and purpose and fulfillment in the everyday.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Openness. To live a big, grand and exciting life I think requires openness. Being open to change, being open to positive messages from the universe, being open to all possibilities. How can we live the full life we are meant to if we are grasping onto ideas of the way things “should” be? If we are holding onto preconceived notions of how things “should” work, “should” turn out, “should” function?
When I reflect on my life, when I reflect on the adventures I have already experienced, I realize it’s because I approach life with an open heart (most of the time). It’s because I don’t close myself off to all possibilities. I ask for something and I’m open to receiving it in whatever form that takes.
The other day I asked Heather for a resource regarding communicating nonviolently in relationships. She told me to pray for it. Three days later I went to my coworker’s house and lying on the coffee table was exactly the kind of book I wanted to read! It felt as if the universe conspired to put that book there for me. So I could stumble across it. What a gift! What a treasure!
I say this not to brag or extol how much the universe loves me but rather illustrate this stuff happens all the time. And if it doesn’t, it can! Everyone can experience this kind of magic, this kind of grace. All it takes is an open heart and an open mind. Rising above our murky slumber to see the grace, see the serendipity in our lives. To see the guiding force and the love our Creator has for us all.
The way I see it, to live the life I wish to lead, to fulfill my dreams, it takes openness. Openness to being guided, openness to signs to messages to “coincidences.” Openness to what God has in store for us. When we turn our backs on the Universe there is only so much the Universe can do. Instead, when we open the windows to our hearts and minds anything can manifest. So much happens. It can and does and will.
I envision a world where we are all open to all possibilities. I envision a world where we communicate with divinity and allow divinity to communicate with us. I envision a world where we allow ourselves to be carried like dandelion seeds in the wind. Where our hearts and our minds are open. Where we all live big, grand, exciting lives and realize our utmost potential.
I know another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
My good friend Heather sent me an audio recording from the Reverend Michael Beckwith, founder of the
Rev. Beckwith talks about how we are all vibratory beings. How our natural state is one where we feel “high” and connected to divinity. Here’s an excerpt of what he said that really hit home for me:
“You’re a vibratory being. And when you come to that understanding the work/play you’re participating in is about lifting your frequency so that you are not fighting circumstances, situations, people, places, and things. Instead you are rising above that into a realm of cosmic ideation that allows you to transcend the world of appearances, transcend even your seeming personal mind and perceptions and opinions so that you can begin to see the world that has been made before the beginning of time. In the beginning was the word, the word was with God. You begin to see this world and participate in this word and a whole other thing begins to happen. You begin to understand ‘I make all things new. I make all things new. I make all things new.’ You are a vibration. This is why a right understanding of God and prayer lifts your vibration. When you understand that God…is spirit, not a man in the sky, not an anthropomorphic being, but God is spirit, every where present, omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent, omniactive, the only thing going on is the power, the presence and the love of God. When in truth that begins to dawn on your awareness…you’re a vibratory being…The right understanding of God and prayer lifts your vibration.”
Powerful stuff in and of itself, right?
Beckwith goes on to talk about how the world we want to live in already exists. Right now what we’re trying to do now is let it manifest. The antonym of manifest is latent. Latent means “present and capable of becoming though not now visible, obvious, active, or symptomatic.”
The world we want to live in is latent. It’s here, it’s present but not obvious or visible. You, I, we can make that world visible. We can make that world manifest. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong in the world let’s focus on what’s right, what’s working, what’s good, what’s great. Let us lift our vibration and rise above the muck. Let us lift our vibration and rise above the things we wish would disappear.
How do we do that? I think one way is to focus on what’s working, what we wish to see. As Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Let’s be the change! We are the change! We are the light and the love and the goodness. You, me, we, us. We are working to bring the world we wish to see into being. Right now, in this moment, as we are.
When we let our love and our light shine through our being we allow God/Spirit/the Divine to work through us. To use us as an instrument to make the latent world manifest. When we move our ego out of the way, when we move our “I” feeling to the side, we let God work through us, to lift us and the world around us.
I think the other way we lift our vibration is through spirituality. Whatever your path may be, I think by remembering we are all divine, that God is in everything, also lifts our vibration. By remembering our connection to the Cosmic source of all life, that inherently makes us “high,” lifts us up and allows us to soar.
I want to soar. Will you soar with me?
Not only is another world possible, it’s probable.
Happy New Year! So, you may or may not know but right now is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. I realize not everyone who reads this is Jewish, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the benefits a new year brings, even if it is in September/October.
Seeing as how a new year often involves resolutions and hopes for what the new year will bring I have a few I’d like to share.
I envision a world where people aren’t freaking out about the economy, where they aren’t lamenting how horrible the world is. I envision a world where everyone’s basic needs are met. Where they don’t have to worry where their next meal is coming from or where they’ll be living tomorrow. I envision a world where people know and understand there is enough – enough money, enough food, enough water, enough land to go around. I envision a world where people recognize we are all brothers and sisters and as such we need to take care of each other. I envision a world where compassion reigns supreme and hording is not allowed. I envision a world where the disparity between the rich and the poor is not so pronounced. I envision a world where all people are valued whether they are a drunk or a doctor. I envision a world where human value takes precedence over money. A world where people can instead focus on what brings them joy, on what they can do to contribute to society.
I know it’s hard when everyone is going nuts about the stock market, but seriously, how does being afraid help anyone? How does being stuck in that fear place serve any purpose? Maybe this crisis is exactly what we need – a chance to re-examine our government and our economy. A chance for us to say, “hey, maybe this isn’t working. Maybe we should rethink things.” What better time than a new year?
There are options for us. There are solutions. There are at least a thousand nonprofits working on these very issues.
A quote from my spiritual teacher Shrii Shrii Anandamurti that goes something like this comes to mind: “Your difficulties will never be greater than your ability to overcome them.”
So I believe not only is another world possible, it’s probable.
So for the past few days I’ve been thinking about this whole Russia and Georgia thing. It’s easy to get sucked into the notion the world is horrible and human beings are terrible creatures who are constantly harming one another. I think we can do better than that. I think we can start to counteract impending war and assaults and robberies and fear by being positive. That probably sounds ridiculous but hear me out.
I don’t necessarily mean people should be Miss Suzy Sunshine all day because frankly, we’re not built that way. What I mean is on an individual level the best thing I can do to counteract war is to spread positivity. To spread light. As it says on a Yogi Tea bag I picked up: “Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light.” I am not in a position of power. I am not a politician or a prime minister or a part of the U.N. However, that does not mean I am powerless. It does not mean that I and others like me have to mire in darkness watching the world around us become denigrated.
The best thing I can do is spread light. To put positive energy into the world to counteract all the darkness. I have a mechanism for doing so through yoga and meditation but you don’t have to be a yogi to spread positivity. By doing the things we enjoy, by laughing, by smiling, by singing, we spread the light. When we are happy we put happiness out into the world and by doing so we change it little by little.
I don’t have any “proof” this does anything but it sure seems like if you shower people with love and positivity feelings of fear and hatred lessen. It seems to make sense the best way to counteract negativity is with positivity. It seems to make sense spreading light shrinks darkness. So what am I doing? I am putting positive energy out in the world in the hopes of making it a better place. Just imagine what the world would be like if collectively we starting spreading more light! My feeling is not only is another world possible, it’s probable if we take the steps to make it better.