International Day of Peace is next Monday and my Collective Dreaming meetup is on Sunday. In an effort to get our energy moving in that dreaming/visualizing space I’d like to hear from you. I’d like to hear from you about where you see another world manifesting. What instances of peace/prosperity/change are you noticing? Where in your life or in the lives of others are you noticing a surge of positivity? Where do you see how another world is probable?

Anything you want to share about a positive experience I’d love to hear about. =)

So this week I’ve been in a funk. A part of me doesn’t even want to admit that because all I want to project is love and light and positivity out into the world. And the perfectionist side of me doesn’t want other people to know I get cranky sometimes (the horror!). What I realize though is this is an opportunity to love myself even further, even more deeply.

I think for a long time I’ve wanted to separate myself into parts. There’s the happy part, the sad part, the angry part, the fun part, etc. I’ve been placing a value judgment on the facets of my personality. Some aspects are “better” than others and so I should squirrel away the ones I don’t like, or so I thought. Being in this weird funk has shown me I am all my parts. I cannot be separated into different me’s – I am one and indivisible. The cranky person, the petulant person, the joyful person, the playful person – they are all me and no one emotion is better or worse than another. Every feeling falls in the emotional spectrum and each one is precious. They are indications I’m alive. And human life is a blessing.

By denying a certain side exists I only succeed in harming myself because it’s my way of saying, “This emotion is no good, I don’t like this part of me, I’m going to pretend it doesn’t exist.” In truth I am a divine child of God no matter what I’m feeling, no matter what I’m doing, no matter what I’m saying. God loves me at all times – when I’m fearful, when I’m spiteful, when I’m whiny – why can’t I extend the same courtesy to myself?

A few weeks ago I wrote a poem from God’s perspective about recognizing our magnificence and a part of the poem goes like this:

Love yourself the way I love you.

May you realize who you are so others may walk with you.

May you realize your own divinity so others may join you.

You are God’s child, perfect as you are, encased in love.

From your depths others will rise

So listen to your inner voice

And let your brightness shine through.

You are a great and magnificent divine being,

You are powerful beyond measure.

You are on this Earth so I may love you. Let me love me.

Love yourself the way I love you, unconditionally and eternally.

I suppose what I’m learning now is to love myself the way God loves me. To see myself through God’s eyes. To love all parts of myself, even the ones I want to pretend don’t exist. It’s funny that this should be such a process, it seems like loving yourself unconditionally would be the easiest thing in the world! I love my weird funky mood because it’s still a part of me. And I have that same wish for others.

I dream of a world where we all love all parts of ourselves unconditionally. Where we accept ourselves as we are right now. Where we allow ourselves to feel all emotions without judgment. Where we love ourselves the way God loves us. Where we rejoice in life. Where we allow our bad moods to come in and out like clouds floating by. Where we can be in a funk and know that’s ok. We are the full expressions of beauty and love in life just the same.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

This week a friend of mine sent me a power point presentation about a professor holding a cup. The story goes like this:

A professor walked into class one day and held up a cup of water for all to see. The professor asked, “How much do you think this cup weighs?”

The students answered, “50g! 100g! 125g!”

“I really don’t know unless I weigh it,” the professor said. “But my question is what would happen if I held the cup like this for a few minutes?”

“Nothing.”

“What would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?” the professor asked.

“Your arm would begin to ache.”

“You’re right. Now what would happen if I held it for a day?”

“You arm would go numb, you would have muscle stress and paralysis and have to go the hospital for sure!” one of the students shouted amid laughter.

“Very good. But during all this did the weight of the cup change?”

“No.”

“Then what caused the arm to ache and the muscle stress?” the professor asked.

The students were perplexed.

“What should I do now to come out of pain?” asked the professor.

“Put the cup down!” said the students.

“Exactly,” the professor replied.

I think this is an excellent metaphor for the cares and worries that life throws our way. Sometimes things come at me and I freak out. I hold onto them, obsess, angst. I get myself all worked up and upset but what I love is I got myself worked up. I did it to me. Which means the power to undo the angst is also in my hands. It means I am autonomous and powerful and I can calm myself down. It means I have the power to change my mind. It means if I want to release something, I can.

I guess I also want to say I recognize I put myself in a better mood by affirming where I’d like to be. Affirming safety over fear. Affirming abundance over scarcity. Affirming love over hate. But I also know sometimes I just. can’t. put. the. cup. down. And that’s ok too. What I’m doing now is using EFT to release this stuff. Saying, “I am willing to release my need for: fear, or this condition, or this person.” By tapping away I increase my willingness, which allows me to truly let go.

Once I let go I feel true ease and bliss and grace. What I’m learning is everything comes from within. The way we feel, what we think, it all emanates from our core, which then translates into how our lives work. We have the power to create our lives and in turn the world. We have the power to change things. We have the power to create a world we wish to see but it all starts from within. Within you and me and everyone else on this planet. We are divine and magnificent beings realizing our brightness.

I want to live in a world where we feel bright and magnificent at all times. Where we all shine like diamonds. Where we recognize our worth, our potential, our greatness. Where we know love, give love, receive love. Where we feel ease and grace and bliss. Where we let go and let flow. Where we see our lives as one part of the spectrum, ever-flowing, ever-changing but always constant. Where we recognize all we need we already have. Where we see our God-hood. Where we recognize our oneness with all living things. Where we can put the cup down.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

This week I learned a lot about myself, where I am, and where I’d like to go. Someone I went to high school with died on Tuesday and it hit me like a Mack truck. We weren’t close but it brought up all this stuff for me. As soon as I heard the news I wanted to pick up the phone and call somebody, I wanted someone to comfort me.

As I walked home from work, tears leaking out from the corners of my eyes, my Papa did his best to pacify me. He said all the right things, made all the right soothing noises but it wasn’t enough. So then I called my mom. And she did all the same things. And it still wasn’t enough. And then I called some more people and it still wasn’t enough. After all this I realized, yet again, the comfort I crave has to come from me. The unconditional love, affection, and support has to come from within because coming from the outside it will never be enough. Because the outside love and comfort runs out. Because it’s unsustainable.

I think of it like a car. A car needs to run on gasoline but it can only go so far before it needs a refill. It’s the same way with getting love from the outside – it will help for a little while but eventually we’ll need more. Eventually we’ll run through the love and support someone else gave us and return for our refill. And keep returning unless we learn to refill ourselves. I’d rather generate my own love, affection, comfort and support because my supply is infinite. The love, affection, comfort and support coming from me never ends and never will end. And I don’t need a telephone or a computer to access it either, it’s right here with me at all times.

So here I am, back to self-love, back to filling up my own cup of happiness, back to relying on myself to meet my needs. Turning to myself for the unconditional love and support I crave. And I see how the more I love and approve and accept myself as I am, the more I can do that for others. Once I fill up myself, any leftovers can be given to other people.

The other issue Ryan’s death brought up for me was fear. Fear of what will happen to me. Fear I won’t realize my dreams. Fear of the future, which really means lack of trust. Lack of trust what’s best for me will happen. Lack of trust I’ll be taken care of. I would like to release my need for fear and instead turn my fear into trust and that’s done through love. Love for me and love for God.

Because life is magical, I of course came across this post on Louise L. Hay’s website (which I recommend reading) that deals with this very subject. Louise articulates exactly what I’ve been feeling using the exact same imagery. Before I came across the article, I wrote an e-mail to a friend saying how I think fear obscures our brightness. How fear is like a cloud that blocks out the sun. And how I’d rather live in the light. How I’d rather realize my own magnificence. In fact, that’s one of the affirmations Louise recommends: “I am now willing to only see my magnificence.”

And so, I realize I created this mental pattern, this need for fear, but so too I realize I can uncreate it. I have the power to change my mind and I use that power to create a life I wish to lead. I want to feel loved at all times. I want to feel safe at all times in all situations. I want to trust in my Creator and my Creator’s plan for me. I want to realize my magnificence and rise above thoughts that attempt to make me afraid. I am already cradled by the Divine in each and every moment – now it’s up to me to remember that.

I dream of a world where we love ourselves unconditionally. Where we feel safe in the here and now. Where we release our need for fear. Where we recognize ourselves to be bright, shining stars. A world where peace and harmony reign. A world where we feel at ease because we know and trust all our needs will be met. A world filled with magic and wonder and awe. A world where we see everything as an expression of an infinite, loving consciousness. Ourselves included.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

As I write this one of my friends is in labor. Although she wasn’t due until the 24th the baby obviously had other plans. The reason I mention this is because all day yesterday and today I’ve been thinking about timing – how timing is out of my hands and how in the past that’s driven me crazy.

What I’ve realized though is timing is for my own good. Some things I’m not ready for, some things I haven’t learned yet and so others cannot happen. I think about this new child entering the world, how my friends haven’t even moved into their new apartment yet, how it’s “inconvenient” for the kid to come early, but it doesn’t matter: that child wants out.

I also think about a story I tell often. While walking in the woods one day a boy comes across a chrysalis. The boy is SO excited and wants to see the butterfly emerge from the cocoon as soon as possible. Knowing the transformation involves heat, everyday the boy comes back and blows on the chrysalis, to speed up the process. One day the boy blows on the chrysalis and a butterfly emerges. Instead of flying off, the butterfly falls to the ground and dies because its wings haven’t fully developed.

Timing, just like everything else, happens for a reason. If I received things when I wanted them it may be to my detriment. So where I am right now is I’m learning patience. I’m learning to accept my life as it is, to be present and in the moment because I realize everything is happening for my highest good. If I wanted to swim the English Channel I’d have to build up to that level, I’d have to train for it. The same metaphor applies to getting a job, a house, whatever. It will come when the stars align, when it’s best for me and my development. I have nothing to worry about, no cause for concern.

In the past I’ve been very impatient, wanting things to be delivered to me immediately. I see now how impatience is not understanding God is watching out for me. Impatience is not understanding if I were to get what I want right now I may not be ready for it and it may cause more harm than good.

I’d like to stay in a place where I recognize everything happens for a reason in my best interest. Where I know timing is for my own good. Where I realize life is one big training ground and in order for me to understand/receive certain things there are specific lessons I need to learn first. A place where I accept this moment in time and feel gratitude for all that came before it.

I dream of a world where we know things unfold for the highest interest of all parties involved. A world where we realize things come to us when we are able to receive them. A world where we rejoice in what is. A world where we accept what lay before us, all the while knowing eventually we will reach our goals.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

More and more I feel like all I want to do is be who I am, to realize my potential, to step into the light and shine more brightly. I feel like much of my life has been spent wanting to feel normal and ordinary, wanting to blend in. I think what I’ve been doing to a degree is tarnishing my brilliance to fit in with others.

I’m reminded of a great quote by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I couldn’t agree more. I’m a place these days where I want everyone to shine. I think there’s a rampant belief that greatness is few and far between. That not everyone can be a Mozart or a Michelangelo – most of us are doomed to live an ordinary, boring life. I say that’s not true.

I say there is potential for greatness within each of us. I say within all of us there is an extraordinary being just waiting to rise to the surface. A person capable of great and amazing things. A person who can write sonnets, a person who can compose a symphony, a person who can invent something spectacular. Instead of being a diamond in the rough, I want to be one diamond among many. I want to sparkle in the sunlight surrounded by beauty, knowing my brilliance is no more and no less than anyone else’s. I want to be the divine child of God that I am and I want others to do the same.

At the same time I recognize there has been a societal message obfuscating our magnificence. And so I leave you with a youtube video to help clear the energetic pathways so we can become the divine magnificent people we are meant to be:

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

I’d like to take this time and celebrate the fact this blog is more than a year old. And while I already wrote a post on AWIP’s birthday, I’d also like to take this moment for reflection.

When I started writing the tenor of this blog focused on the external world, how a new world is in the making as evidenced by the surge in environmentalism, yoga and meditation. As the year progressed my focus started to shift and I started to realize the external world is merely a reflection of the internal one.

So while I do still believe another world is in the making as shown by San Francisco passing mandatory composting laws, Barack Obama being the president of the United States, etc. what I see more of is the internal shift. As I look around me I see more and more people waking up to the power of their own minds. I see more and more people recognizing their own autonomy, their part to play in life’s drama. As I look around me I see all these light beings stepping out of the fog, rising up to meet their true potential.

It’s as true today as it was a year ago – another world is not only possible, it’s probable. It’s probable because more people are joining the revolution, more people are tapping into their power, more people are awakening their hearts and minds, realizing not only do they wish to see another world but they can manifest it. I say another world is probable because the spider’s web of consciousness is threading us together, bringing us closer and closer to each other and to the Divine. I say another world is probable because I see it both within me and around me.

Thanks for staying with me on this journey as we all come to realize another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

“I just want to know the future. If I knew the future and what will happen then I can relax and enjoy the here and now.” I’ve been hearing this from other people all week, mainly former coworkers looking for a steady job, feeling anxious because they are currently unemployed. I feel this way too sometimes. A part of me wants to know whether I’ll be laid off come October when the next quarter ends. Or what my life will look like two months from now. And can I just say it sucks?

It sucks to be in a place where I’m worrying about the future, where I’m agonizing over what’s next instead of living my life. The over-used phrase, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans,” comes to mind.

I know for me when I start worrying about the future it’s because I’m not trusting in the process of life. I’m not trusting in my Creator and my Creator’s plan for me. It taps into my need for feeling safe and secure because somehow I think by knowing the future I’ll realize I’m taken care of. Somewhere along the way I picked up the idea I need to know what’s ahead in order to feel safe.

I think about something my friend Heather said to me about the future, safety and security: “Are you any more secure and stable now that you’re employed full time and have your own apartment? Or is it all an illusion?”

She’s right. Tomorrow I could walk into work and find out I’ve been laid off. In the next 15 seconds my apartment could flood or catch on fire or get hit with an asteroid. So no, I’m not any more secure and stable now than when I kept moving from place to place, it only feels that way. It only feels that way because I’ve quieted my mental chatter and I’ve allowed myself to believe I’ll still be employed tomorrow and I’ll still have a place to live tonight.

The place where I’d like to be is recognizing I am safe, secure and protected at all times. Since I recognize safety, security and stability is a state of mind, I’d like to change my mental patterns to reflect that. I’d like my safety, security and stability to come from within as opposed to external situations. I’d like to feel like no matter what happens I will be taken care of.

Once again I plumb the depths of my mind, I go internally and recognize the point of power is in the here and now, is within me at all times. I start affirming for myself I am safe, secure and protected no matter the circumstances.

Sometimes though it’s not so easy to say those affirmations and to believe them. I know that too. I know sometimes we cling tightly to an idea, to a need to know the future, for a certain situation to work out, for a certain person to be in our lives, for a certain job to drop in our laps. I know sometimes it’s hard to let go.

For me, before I can get to the places I want to be, before I can start believing the affirmations I say to myself, there’s a precursor affirmation: “I am willing to release my need for X.”

I usually fill in X with something I want to get rid of, like, “I’m willing to release my need for fear,” or “I’m willing to release my need for this condition.” Something that is not serving me and only holds me back.

Why did I title this post “Be Here, Now?” Mostly because the point of power resides in this moment. Because the present is all we have. Because the future is really just a concept, always changing, ever-new. I spent far too much of my life worrying about what’s next, missing out on what lay before me, lamenting would could be as opposed to enjoying what is. I want my life to be light and easy and joyful and that comes by trusting in God, changing my mental patterns, and feeling gratitude.

I dream of a world where we release our need to know the future. I dream of a world where we live in the moment, enjoying what is. Where we all feel safe and secure and protected at all times. Where the future is something we accept, but we also laugh because we realize there is only now. I dream of a world where we recognize the power of our minds to change our lives and our world. Where we live life in real time.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Oftentimes I feel like what happens in my life is beyond my control. Getting a job, a boyfriend, an apartment, whatever, seems like it rests completely in God’s hands. I feel like all of it is outside of me and I’m at the mercy of someone else. What I’m inching toward is recognizing the power of my mind and how life is what I make it. How the things that happen in my life are because of my thought projections, whether they’re conscious or not.

This week I started being even more conscious. I’ve been feeling like there are blocks and hindrances in my life. That I can’t move forward because God doesn’t deem it so. That I’m stuck in a certain place and a certain situation and there is nothing I can do about it. What I realized this week is that’s completely not true. I am not a puppet at the mercy of a puppeteer. But neither am I a ring leader at the circus. My life and what I experience is more like a boat on a river – I’m paddling my little heart out, going in a certain direction but the current also has a say in the matter. What I realized, beyond the fact I have some say in my life, is the reason I don’t have what I want is because of me.

I place the blocks in my life, I place the obstacles in my way, I’m keeping myself from my heart’s desires, to an extent anyway. What I mean is, as soon as I’m ready for something it happens. And until I’m ready, truly ready, nothing will manifest. I think about my experience last year, how I kept saying I wanted a job and a place to live because logically I did. Intellectually, I wanted to get a steady income and settle down. In my heart though I wanted to be a vagabond, I wanted to be free to do whatever the heck I wanted. I wanted to flit from place to place experiencing anything and everything without any restrictions. I wanted to feel free and easy and independent.

Those of you who know me well and experienced last year with me know how I oscillated from feeling fine to feeling pressured to make money. I felt such angst and frustration because I felt like I should get a job, I should be employed because that’s what people do! In my heart I wanted something else.

The truth of the matter is, it wasn’t until my heart decided I wanted to settle down and get a job that I did. It wasn’t until my heart decided I wanted to work at an office that my future employer called me for an interview. I applied for positions for a full year, getting interview after interview with nothing panning out. When I made the decision, “Yes, I’m ready to go back to the daily grind, to working in an office,” my job came along. Almost immediately actually. And when I found my job, three days later I found my apartment. Because I was ready! Because I was in a mental space for it!

The reason I bring this up because today I am laughing. I may think I want certain things, but until I’m in the proper heart space it ain’t gonna happen. It just won’t. And so where I am today is I’m trying to enjoy my life, to accept where I am, knowing and trusting that when I’m ready, when my heart and mind sync up, God will grant my wishes. I’m trying to feel gratitude about where I am, about what I’m doing. I’m trying to live in the moment, enjoying things just as they are because my heart cannot be reasoned with – it wants what it wants when it wants it. When my heart desires something it will manifest. That’s what the law of attraction is all about.

And instead of wasting precious time feeling frustrated and angst-y that I don’t have what I want, I laugh and feel free and easy. I finally realize the only barrier to anything in my life is my own mind. I keep myself from having certain things – now I’m in a place where I realize more consciously the role I play. So I relax, let myself be, and know I can have what I want. Life is open and free and uninhibited.

I dream of a world where we see how powerful we really are. I dream of a world where we’re all more conscious of our minds and our lives and the parts we play. I dream of a world where we live awake, recognizing we decide how we live. I dream of a world where we are relaxed, where we enjoy what’s before us, where we feel gratitude for our lives. Where we know when our heart has a desire God will rearrange heaven and earth and give it to us.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

I’ve been such a social butterfly lately – flitting from one outing to the next – that when I finally do get a moment alone, when I do get a chance to sit and be with me, I feel lonely. I feel like I want to pick up the phone and call someone and have them come over even though it’s 10:30 at night. Or I’ll want to immerse myself in reading, watching t.v., browsing the internet. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, or the occasional escapism. What I’m saying though is when it comes to a point where I feel uncomfortable sitting alone in my apartment, that’s a problem.

I don’t feel this way all the time, just sometimes. I love and approve and accept myself but sometimes, when I’m home alone on a Friday night (by my own choice I should add), I feel lonely. The place where I’m coming to is I realize being in the presence of other people won’t solve the problem; it will only mask it for a while. Just like I cannot depend on others to “make” me happy nor do I believe other people can “take away” my loneliness, anymore than they could take away fear or sadness. It’s liberating and also obnoxious to realize I feel what I want to feel. That includes loneliness.

In this moment I feel lonely because I’m choosing to feel lonely. In this moment I’m choosing to lament my single-girl status, my Friday night solitude. In point of fact there are many loved ones in my life. In truth I have plans from now until mid-August. I’m not saying this to brag about how popular I am, but to illustrate how it’s all a matter of perspective. I can choose to continue feeling lonely or I can embrace the times I’m alone. I can choose to feel empty because there’s no one for me to turn to and say, “Sometimes Isla Fisher looks like Alicia Silverstone,” or I can rejoice in this period of rejuvenation. In this blessed time where I get to be with just me, where I get to worry about me alone, where I get to take care of myself without worrying about anyone else. What a gift! What a blessing! I can choose to thank the universe for this period all to myself where I get to be with just me or not.

The truth is I am always connected to the Divine source, even when I feel like I’m not. The truth is God surrounds me at all times and also resides within me. It’s up to me to remember that.

I’m also reminded of one of my favorite quotes by Shrii Shrii Anandamurti, the founder of the yoga and meditation group I’m a part of:

“Whatever the reason for this vast universe, as long as this universe continues to exist, I am here to love you. The force that guides the stars guides you too: here, into my loving embrace. I am yours.”

When I consider that how can I possibly feel lonely? When I consider the force that created all of existence guides me, loves me, showers me with grace, why would I choose to feel disconnected from it all?

I say right here in this moment I choose to feel gratitude for having this opportunity to nourish myself. I feel grateful I can be alone with me and do the things I wish to do. I choose to recognize loneliness, like the many other emotions I experience, is my choice. That I can choose to feel lonely or not. I say I’d rather feel full and content and complete as I am in this moment. That I’d rather recognize I am surrounded by God’s love at all times. That God’s love pervades me at every moment.

I dream of a world where people recognize they are in charge of their minds. Where they realize it’s ok to feel all their emotions, even the less-than-pleasurable ones. Where they embrace all their feelings and allow themselves to enjoy the full spectrum. Where they recognize even when they’re in solitude they are still steeped in God’s love.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

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