Another World is Probable

This afternoon I went to Muir Woods, a national monument filled with redwood trees. During the  walk I remarked to my friend, “The whole California coastline used to look like this.” She and I started talking about how people used to cut down trees like that without a second thought and what we struck is our consciousness has developed so that we are thinking about our actions. We realize if a redwood tree is cut down it won’t grow back to its original size in 10 years. We’re realizing the necessity of preservation. In essence, we’re becoming more conscious not just of the environment but many things.

What I also noticed about Muir Woods is the café doesn’t sell bottled water because it creates more waste, uses fossil fuels, and costs more money. Instead they have filtered water stations where patrons can fill up their own bottles. How awesome is that? Bottled water only became popular what? 15 years ago? And we already recognize it’s no longer an environmental practice. Heck, people smoked cigarettes for decades before it finally came out how harmful they are.

Lastly, tonight my friend and I went to the Source, a vegetarian restaurant. This place is so San Francisco. Not only is the water filtered four times, but the air is filtered and deodorized. Plus all of the food is organic. And their drinks include elixirs, or beverages filled with ingredients such as flower essences. References to food infused with “loving energy” abound and let me tell you, it’s not just marketing. Eating their food I practically entered a meditative state. I have never in my life felt so good eating at a restaurant. I know this reads like a Yelp review but mostly I’m excited. I’m inspired because people are talking about this stuff. People understand there’s a difference between tap water and filtered water not just in taste but in how it affects the body. Not only that, they care.

I’m excited because these days are people talking about things I used to get teased for. There are discussions of yoga, meditation, vegetarianism, energy – and it’s not just on the periphery. I’m excited because it seems more and more people are reaching a state where they understand the interconnectedness of everything. We seem to be moving away from the selfish, self-centered mentality to really caring about ourselves and the environment. We’re understanding there are repercussions for our actions and seeming to think things through a bit more. It’s almost like human beings as a species are maturing. I love the care and compassion I’m seeing these days. I love how concepts that used to be strange are becoming more mainstream. I love the shift I’m seeing in the people around me. I’m excited because I see all of this as evidence another world really is not only possible, it’s probable.

The message I’ve been getting over and over this week is “Forgiveness.” The interesting thing is when the event happened to me I jumped from feeling sad to trying to let it go. I looked at my part in all of it, but I never felt the anger in between and I think that’s what’s kept me from forgiving. I’ve tried to be “spiritual” and say, “Oh it happened, it’s over now, it doesn’t matter.” But you know, it does matter. I stumbled across an amazing quote this week that emphasizes the point: “Whatever you can feel you can let go of.” Somehow I’ve resisted feeling angry because I didn’t think I had a right to be angry. So the resentment, bitterness, etc. has stuck with me because I never allowed myself to feel all my feelings about it.

This week the universe has very clearly indicated it’s time for me to forgive. If I want to move forward in my life, forgiveness is a must. Here’s the interesting thing about forgiveness – it’s never about the other person, it’s about me. I forgive so that I can move on, so I can let go of the issue. As I’m sure you’ve heard over and over again forgiveness is not saying what the other person did is right, mostly it’s saying “I release you and let it go.”

As much as I want to forgive there’s still a piece of me that wants the other person to apologize first. I want them to say, “I’m sorry, what I did was wrong.” But at this point in my maturation I know the apology isn’t necessary and most likely I’m not going to get it. So all I can do is really feel I’m ready to forgive and then do it. To help with this issue, I turn to my favorite EFT guy Brad Yates:

I forgive so I can create space in my life for something better to move in. I forgive so I can release the bitterness, the resentment, and bring in the love. I forgive because I remember other people are also flawed. I forgive because I’d rather live in love rather than anger or fear.

I dream of a world where we let ourselves feel all our feelings. A world where we know what we feel we can let go of. A world where we forgive ourselves and each other. A world where we know we may have been wronged but we can always move past it.

Another world is not only possible it’s probable.

Last week I had the good fortune of attending my brother’s wedding in Puerto Rico (yay weddings!) and while talking to a friend of mine was reminded beliefs shape reality. What I mean is what I believe dictates what happens in my world. This is a very small example but on the flight home yesterday a woman walked down the aisle carrying a Styrofoam cup of soda in addition to her bags. She couldn’t put her bags in the overhead bin and carry her soda at the same time so instead she turned to a man sitting in the aisle seat and said, “Here, can you hold this?” and handed it off to him. What struck me about her interaction with him is she didn’t even question the idea he would hold her soda. Asking him to hold it was a formality because she handed it off to him before he even responded; she assumed he would say yes all along. She believed he would say yes and he did.

What’s interesting to me about beliefs is they seem to come from a different place than thoughts. I don’t know about you, but when I even say the word “belief” I feel something in my heart. It evokes an emotion. When I think something it’s more head-centered. Another interesting thing about beliefs is they leave little room for doubt. There is no wishy-washy-ness. You either believe something or you don’t.

I bring this up because despite my post from a few weeks ago I’ve still been wrestling with feelings of jealousy about someone else’s life. I want an aspect of what she has and somehow I’ve been feeling like it’s unavailable to me. When I spoke to my friend about it she said, “It all comes down to belief. What you believe is mirrored back to you.” When she said that to me I felt such relief because it’s so true. If I believe I will always be taken care of, that money will always come to me, that people will treat me kindly, they will. There is no room for doubt and uncertainty. I have to bring my heart into it, to know it with the fullness of my being.

I think that’s what the whole Abraham Hicks deal is about; really it’s the law of attraction in action. It’s putting the energy of my heart into something. It’s when affirmations start to take root. That’s some pretty powerful stuff.

I bring this up because instead of going through the machinations of how to change my life by following in the footsteps of other people, first and foremost I have to change my beliefs. I have to believe I can make a living doing what I love, I have to believe people will enjoy my book, I have to believe I’ll eventually get married. Because from the beliefs everything else follows. I love knowing I can change my beliefs, that I can change my reality, that I can make things so that were not so before. That I can absolutely do everything I want, live the life I want, and have what I so desire in others just by changing my heart-centered beliefs. And the way I do that is by asking my higher power for help.

I dream of a world where we all understand we are co-creators of our reality. A world where we know beliefs shape our lives. A world where we understand our hearts are more important than our heads. A world where we flow with life knowing we can have what we desire as long as we shift the focus back to ourselves.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Last week I wrote about the “next” economy or “gift” economy. This week I’m excited because it seems en masse people are realizing our current economic system is flawed. More than a thousand people have gathered for Occupy Wall St. and similar events are popping up in cities around the United States.

For those of you who don’t know, the movement is the expression of people dissatisfied with being a part of the 99% of the population who are not super wealthy. There is a whole tumblr about it actually. Here is one of the entries:

“I have my health. I have a job. I have no debt, and no dependents. I have a tiny bit of savings and a small retirement fund that I cling to.

But Wall Street is hungry, and our political leaders have shown whose side they are on. Business and government will work together to steal what we have.

I did not get here, to this tiny island of stability, alone. I owe so much to my brothers and sisters who worked hard for the ideals of DEMOCRACY and LIBERTY and FREEDOM.

And I will not stand by, silent, while any of my brothers and sisters falls through the cracks: the sick, the unemployed, and underemployed, the kids who depend on us all.

I will not stand by while the One Percent who have manipulated our social contract to their vast favor leave the rest of us to fend for ourselves.

I will not stand for it.

And I am not alone.

I am the 99%.”

You might be asking, why exactly this inspires me. It’s because about 10 years ago I had a conversation with a classmate, trying to explain why capitalism was a flawed system and she said to me, “If those people worked hard for their money I don’t see why we should limit how much they make. I don’t see why they can’t make as much money as they want because they earned it.” I’m inspired by this Occupy Wall St. protest because it shows me people are becoming more heart centered. They are starting to become more compassionate. They’re starting to see what happens to the homeless man down the street is not ok. I’m inspired because people are starting to care. As a 17-year-old it was hard for me to put into words capitalism doesn’t work because it rewards the greedy and it’s selfish. How on earth could I win the argument if the person I was talking to would respond by saying, “So?”

I love that we’re showing compassion for each other. That people are saying, “Hey, you know, greed is not ok and I won’t stand idly by watching someone gobble up the wealth while the rest of us are fighting for scraps.” I love that we’re wanting to support each other. That we’re wanting to ensure everyone in the world gets their needs met. How AMAZING is that?

I dream of a world where everyone gets their basic needs met. A world where we are all taken care of because we take care of each other. A world where we’re supported. A world where wealth is shared and we show respect and compassion for our fellows. A world where we live more in our hearts than in our heads.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

What I am sooooo excited about is the “next” economy or the “gift” economy. I was introduced to the concept of a gift economy by Dr. Aumatma Shah, who runs a holistic health care clinic in Oakland called the Karma Clinic. In essence, she offers her naturopathic services as a gift, only charging for remedies and supplements. It’s not free though, it’s a gift, there’s an important distinction. The energy inherent in “free” is take. The energy inherent in “gift” is, “This is an act of love and service.” Dr. Shah explicitly says in order to heal it’s important to give away what has been given. One cannot hold on tightly to the gift because the energy stops there with them. Does that make sense? It’s like what I wrote about a few months ago when because of the generosity I’d been shown re: my kickstarter campaign I felt like being generous myself. The gift doesn’t have to be money, it can be anything.

The reason I love the next economy or the gift economy so much is because it’s based on these four principles:

• Moving from transaction to trust,
• Consumption to contribution,
• Isolation to community,
• And scarcity to abundance.

Wow! Talk about my ideal world! Some people may scoff and say it will never work, but let me tell you, it does. My business coach, a big proponent of the next economy, said he’s not going to charge me for his expertise because we’re friends and he wants to be of service and help me be of service. Instead, he wants me to help out when and where I can. Let me tell you, when he said that to me a big weight lifted off my chest because I’m not in a position at the moment to pay him. What I love so much about this economy model is it emphasizes our relationships and not material goods. I’ve been receiving so many instances of this lately, not just with my naturopath and business coach, but my friend who’s a photographer. I had some pictures taken of me at the beginning of the year but I feel so radically different I want new author photos. And my professional photographer friend said he’ll take them free of charge and to buy him dinner or something. Huzzah!

What gets to me is the kindness that has been shown to me. That there are so many people who are willing to help me, who understand money is not everything, and really live that way. It’s truly a gift to be surrounded by so many loving, talented people who are willing to share their services with the world. In my business coach’s blog he sums up the next economy thusly:

“Human enterprises will be designed in service to all human needs while benefiting the earth and all life. The goal of doing business in the next economy is to be of service to life while doing what you love – finding ‘work’ so full of joy and purpose you cannot really call it work.”

That is precisely what I want and I’m incredibly inspired because I’m seeing evidence of it around me. People who are knowingly and unknowingly incorporating service into their business. People who understand our work lives and our personal lives shouldn’t be so radically different, because after all, we’re still people and deserve to be treated that way.

I dream of a world where we give what we’ve been given. A world where we conduct business with kindness, generosity, and love. A world where we take care of each other and focus on the infinite possibilities life has to offer. A world where we value relationships and respect each other. A world where we understand there doesn’t need to be a “business as usual” because there can be a new way of doing business.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote in his essay Civilization to: “Hitch your wagon to a star,” meaning, “Always aspire to do great things.” I’ve always aspired to do great things but somehow I always envisioned myself as the wagon and never the star. I always thought of myself in the supporting role. In some ways I think it’s a part of my nature – I’m a little shy, not that many people can tell – so I’d rather be in the background than claim the spotlight. It’s funny how the universe arranges things so outmoded thinking gets swept away because that old paradigm crumbled around me about a week and a half ago.

What I’m referring to is the dissolution of my spiritual art and entertainment business. My business partner and I decided to go our separate ways because we had different needs and expectations that didn’t allow for us to continue working together. It was really painful; there’s still an ache in my heart thinking about it, but I know it’s for the best. I had this idea I needed him, that I couldn’t be successful on my own. That somehow it was “safer” to be in business with someone else instead of alone. I also had the notion I don’t have enough big ideas to run a company. But the truth is, it only takes one good idea to create a business and I’m never really alone. There are many people who play supporting roles in my life; there are many places I can go to ask for help and support. I don’t have to have a business partner in order to be successful.

Mostly what I’m getting at is I don’t need to hitch my wagon to anyone else’s star because I am the star. I have enough ideas, fortitude, skills, etc. to do this. “This” being run a publishing company, market a book, or whatever. I am capable of so much more than I thought I was. Not just with this business, but with my life. I can do anything by the grace of God. I think fear often tells us we need someone else around. That somehow going it alone is dangerous or unwise. It could be something as small as going to a concert solo. The thoughts are usually along the lines of, “Maybe I won’t have a good time. Maybe people will judge me, maybe my car won’t start and I’ll be stuck, maybe it will be scary,” etc. How often are those things true though?

When I go to things by myself, I find I have a pretty good time. In fact, on Friday I went to the movies by myself! Not because I’m a loser with no friends, but because I impulsively decided to go and didn’t want to rustle up company. And you know what? It was lovely. I got to see what I wanted, sit where I wanted, and leave when I wanted. It was just what I needed! I’m a big believer in doing what you want whether you have company to join you or not. So now I’m doing it with bigger things, not just the movies. I no longer believe my success/failure/happiness/security is dependent on anyone else. I no longer believe it’s strictly necessary to have someone else by my side. Because today I live in the truth I am my own star.

I dream of a world where we know we can handle life on our own. A world where we know we can shine brightly by ourselves. Where we understand our success is contingent on us and not who we’re socializing with. A world where we know we are each worthy of a leading role. A world where we feel capable and confident of our own abilities because in truth, we are each our own stars.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

There are a lot of things I want to say today. There are many things I want to talk about, but out of respect for what happened 10 years ago today, instead all I can really say is how horrible. All I can really say is my heart goes out to all of those people who lost friends and family members on September 11. But not only that, my heart goes out to all people, in all countries who have been victims of violence. Anyone who has been made to suffer at the hands of someone else. This won’t be the popular stance, but I’m also praying for the terrorists. I’m praying they’ll come to understand we are all people. We all fundamentally want the same things: love, acceptance, safety. I’m praying that those people whose hearts have been closed off due to fear and hatred will get opened. That they’ll see the error of their ways. I’m praying that people will really get just how interconnected we are and how one act of violence affects all of us and only breeds more violence. I’m praying for peace, knowing peace starts with me. I’m praying that we recognize the good in the world.

Did you know Meetup.com started because of the terrorist attacks? Here’s a letter the CEO Scott Heiferman sent a few days ago:

“Let me tell you the Meetup story. I was living a couple miles from the Twin Towers, and I was the kind of person who thought local community doesn’t matter much if we’ve got the Internet and TV. The only time I thought about my neighbors was when I hoped they wouldn’t bother me.

When the towers fell, I found myself talking to more neighbors in the days after 9/11 than ever before. People said hello to neighbors (next-door and across the city) who they’d normally ignore. People were looking after each other, helping each other, and meeting up with each other. You know, being neighborly.

A lot of people were thinking that maybe 9/11 could bring people together in a lasting way. So the idea for Meetup was born: Could we use the Internet to get off the Internet — and grow local communities?

We didn’t know if it would work. Most people thought it was a crazy idea — especially because terrorism is designed to make people distrust one another.

A small team came together, and we launched Meetup nine months after 9/11.

Today, almost 10 years and 10 million Meetuppers later, it’s working. Every day, thousands of Meetups happen. Moms Meetups, Small Business Meetups, Fitness Meetups . . . a wild variety of 100,000 Meetup Groups with not much in common — except one thing.

Every Meetup starts with people simply saying hello to neighbors. And what often happens next is still amazing to me. They grow businesses and bands together, they teach and motivate each other, they babysit each other’s kids and find other ways to work together. They have fun and find solace together. They make friends and form powerful community. It’s powerful stuff.

It’s a wonderful revolution in local community, and it’s thanks to everyone who shows up.

Meetups aren’t about 9/11, but they may not be happening if it weren’t for 9/11.

9/11 didn’t make us too scared to go outside or talk to strangers. 9/11 didn’t rip us apart. No, we’re building new community together!!!!

The towers fell, but we rise up. And we’re just getting started with these Meetups.”

 

Because of things like this and more, I know another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

This afternoon I had the great privilege of attending a wedding. In some ways the theme this year seems to be weddings. Left and right friends and family members are getting engaged and married, and to be honest I’m inspired. I’m inspired because when I see the love transpiring from one person to another it melts my heart. When I see two people who say, “Yes, I commit myself to you. I’m ready to work out all of my issues on the day to day with you, I vow to ensure your all around progress in any way I can,” I know everything is right in the world.

I’m a sap. I admit it. But when two people find each other there’s something magical afoot. Out of all the people in the world, out of all of the possible combinations and relationships we go through with one another, to be able to say, “Yes, let’s get married,” that’s pretty special. It’s so uplifting to see that because the more we love one another, the more love there is in the world. It spills over into all aspects of life. There’s that saying, “Happy wife, happy life.” I think that’s pretty accurate but applies to both parties. This human experience is all about connection and bonding. When our relationships with others are good, we’re pretty happy, or at least that’s been the case with me.

I debated whether to include this or not but the following is the crux of why marriage inspires me. In my spiritual practices, when someone gets married these are the vows they take:

“I say on oath I take upon myself all the responsibility for his/her food, clothes, education, medical care, etc. from today. I will be vigilant in every way to safeguard his/her mental peace and ensure his/her mental progress from today. I will be vigilant in every way to safeguard his/her spiritual progress from today.”

And then the community says, “We say on oath that we are witnesses to this wedding. May we be helpful to the best of our capacity for the all-round progress of this newly married couple.”

There’s more to the ceremony than that, but the oaths are the gist of it. Maybe it’s because of the state of mind I’m in at the moment, but to have someone else say they are willing to do all those things for me, that they will take on responsibility for my physical, mental, and spiritual needs, seems pretty amazing. To find someone who wants to be my partner like that – wow. So when I witness weddings I get verklempt, as my friend would say. It’s inspirational to witness a partnership, a true coming together as one. To see out of love someone is willing to take responsibility for their partner. They are willing to serve someone else in a very real and intimate way. I can only hope one day the same will be true for me.

I dream of a world where we all feel supported. A world where we have a community to rely on. A world where we all have partners, romantic or not. A world where we know someone else (or multiple someone elses) is looking out for us. A world where we feel held, protected, and taken care of. A world where all our needs are met.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

I debated whether or not to even write this post because it’s so personal but all day I’ve been getting messages about the importance of authenticity and sharing our personal experiences in an effort to help others, so here goes. . .

I am CRAZY envious of a blogger I know. I’m talking the super ugly, “I want what she has” envy. She has a crazy popular blog that’s been featured in women’s magazines and gets something like 100 comments a day, she has a loving husband, she’s published a book, AND she’s appeared on national television for it. Can we just establish here I so want those things? (Except maybe the 100 comments a day on my blog, seeing as how there isn’t really much for people to comment on. . .) I really don’t want to admit how envious I am. ESPECIALLY not to other people! I’m not proud of how I feel, but that doesn’t change the fact the feeling exists. I wish it did, but it doesn’t.

In some ways I think envy is a good thing. It reminds me what I fiercely want out of life. It reminds me what my goals are. But it’s important to remember we are all human and this fellow blogger has her trials and tribulations. She has her own things she’s going through and I probably wouldn’t want to trade my woes for hers. Going a bit deeper into it, really what envy is about is escape. I want to escape into someone else’s life because it looks better than mine. The truth is even if someone else’s life is better than mine it doesn’t mean I can do anything about it. We can’t trade places. Also, maybe all those things I envy in this woman are on their way to me. Maybe this time next year all those things will be true for me. I don’t have to rush anything. I could talk about the danger of comparing myself to other people but I’ve covered that ground already. Instead I’d like to say I live in an abundant and infinite universe. This woman having all of those things doesn’t mean I can’t have them too. If anything, it shows me I can as well.

What I’d really like to say is, “Rebekah, you can have all of those things. Nothing is stopping you.” I don’t need to be envious of this blogger because the only obstacle in my way is me. So instead of continuing to feel envy I say, “Thank you for coming up. For showing me what my heart’s real desires are. Thank you for reminding me what my priorities are and what I’d like to focus on. Now that I’ve acknowledged you, please go away.” Because I can also go on national television. Because I can also have a loving marriage. Because I can also have everything I’ve ever wanted.

I don’t know if I’ve illustrated much progress here but I guess I’m saying every emotion (even the ones I don’t like) serve a purpose. They all deserve to be recognized and looked at. I am a human being with a range of emotions and envy is one of them. But I get to choose whether I continue to feel it. I choose not.

I dream of a world where we all allow ourselves to express our feelings. A world where we give all our emotions a moment in the sun – including the ones we’d rather not face. A world where we recognize every emotion serves a purpose and it’s up to us to suss it out.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.