This post is an extension of last week’s topic on shame. Last week I realized shame is not seeing myself the way Source sees me. Not viewing myself through the eyes of unconditional love. I also realized guilt is judging myself for doing or not doing something I think I “should.” I started thinking about why guilt and shame come up for me in the first place because if they didn’t serve a purpose, they wouldn’t keep appearing. Then it hit me: I’ve been thinking guilt and shame are my motivators. If I feel badly enough about something then I’ll stop (or start) whatever it is. If I feel badly enough about eating 10 cookies then I’ll stop. If I feel badly enough about my mom making dinner every night I’ll start cooking instead.
Love Is My Motivator
So not true.
It’s not true. Feeling bad doesn’t do anything but make me feel bad. I am never motivated to do (or not do) something based on guilt or shame. I change my behavior because I decided to change. The end. It has nothing to do with how badly I feel. It has nothing to do with guilt trips and shameful feelings. I only thought it did. I thought I needed to feel guilty or ashamed in order to change.
Last week I realized I kept doing the things I was ashamed of, or felt guilty about, until I said, “Hey you know, I don’t like this so I want to stop.” And then I did. Guilt and shame had nothing to do with it. They acted as cloud cover, because ultimately I stopped when I decided I wanted to do things differently.
This is me saying I don’t need guilt and shame to act as my motivators. I don’t need guilt and shame to tell me when or how to do something. I don’t need guilt and shame to dictate my behavior. You know why? Because I have a better motivator.
My new motivation is love. I do things now because I feel inspired to do so. I change my behavior because I want to feel good. I help other people because I love them, not because I feel guilty if I don’t. I take care of myself and my body because I love it and therefore want to treat it with love. I let go of negative thoughts and behaviors because I want to feel happy and at peace. I change my behavior because I’d rather feel love. Love is my motivation.
I dream of a world where people let go of their feelings of guilt and shame. A world where people do things because they are inspired to do so. A world where people are motivated by love and feeling good. A world where people realize the point of change always starts in their own minds. A world where people use love as their primary motivator.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.