On Thursday, I walked through the intersection where I was hit by a car for the very first time since the accident. Up until Thursday I walked by the site (as in, on the other side of the street) but never through the site. As I approached the exact intersection, I felt a whisper of anxiety and that was it. No panic, no becoming paralyzed. I faced my fear head on and I walked through it. In addition to feeling proud of myself, I was reminded how the things that bugged me months ago no longer bug me. How my problems of yesterday (so to speak) are no longer problems today, and this gives me hope for the future.
So often I get stuck in “forever” thinking. As in, if things are like this now, they’ll be like this forevaaaa. Especially in the moments where I have anxiety or depression or fear, it’s a challenge to remind myself, “This too shall pass,” because to me, it seems like the situation or feeling is interminable. I’m starting to disengage from this as I remember the only truth about a thought is it’s a thought, and now I think I’m taking it a step further by having hope life will get better.
I like this picture as I think it captures hope and the future at the same time.
I am indeed still planning for joy, and a part of that is employing some perspective because things change all the time. Problems get solved, new circumstances arise, and life goes on.
I want things to get better now, but as a friend keeps reminding me, “We look at our watches and God looks at the calendar,” as in things do change, but not necessarily on my timeline. That’s true. I’ve seen lots of changes in myself and my friends, but it has taken time. I have a friend who in her 20s barely made enough money to support herself, and now in her 30s she’s an entrepreneur and recently returned from a trip to Bali. Jeremy Renner was a makeup artist before he became a movie star.
Things change and they often change for the better. I need to keep reminding myself of that, keep holding onto hope for the future, because otherwise I’ll dissolve into a tear-stricken, soppy mess. A friend posted a picture on facebook about a month ago (that I can no longer find) that said something like, “Suicide may keep things from getting worse, but it also prevents them from getting better.” I’m not suicidal, but I appreciated the statement because, yeah, there’s always hope things will get better and I’m seeing more and more evidence that they do.
I dream of a world where we all hold onto our hope for the future. A world where we remember the things that troubled us in the past no longer trouble us now and it’s likely the trend will continue. A world where we look on the bright side of life.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
If you don’t know about it, in response to recent suicides by LGBT youth, columnist Dan Savage launched a project called It Gets Better for people to upload videos talking about how life gets better, how life is worth living. That if you’re LGBT, or even just identify as queer, life will not always be hard. That good things are waiting for you and to hang around for them.
Here’s Dan Savage’s video:
Here’s a video from Chaz Bono, Sunny Bono and Cher’s kid:
Can I just say I love this exists? I love the progress we have made in the world that hundreds of people will upload videos onto YouTube talking about how Life Gets Better. How the dark moments don’t last forever. How we all find love and happiness. How no one can keep us down because we are destined to fly.
I love this is playing out on the national stage. That people are less afraid to be true to themselves, to let themselves shine. Is it happening as quickly as I would like? Of course not. (I mean, come on, have you met me?) But the point is it’s happening. It’s happening. All the things we want are taking place. And that is a beautiful thing.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.