This post comes to you from Denmark where I’m visiting a friend. What I’ve found so interesting is the landscape is similar to other places I’ve been. While taking the train, looking out the window, I was reminded of Middle America — except there were more windmills. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought I was passing through Iowa.
Then today at the beach, I looked around and the combination of the sand’s color, dunes, and water reminded me of the Outer Banks in North Carolina. I’m sure there are some places in Denmark that are completely unique to this region, but today at the beach, I was reminded things are more the same than they are different, and especially in these times, it’s important to keep looking at what binds us rather than what divides us.
I thought about including a windmill pic but how could I resist this photo?
In our world today, there are some people who are trying to create division. People who are trying to use one group or another as a scapegoat for the world’s problems. That to me is dangerous. When we start saying, “All of these people are like this,” or “Those people are like that,” we further enhance our separateness. It’s when we start creating an “us” and “them” mindset that it becomes easier to mistreat people. It’s easier to justify atrocious acts when a person becomes someone who is “not like me.”
My spiritual teacher says this kind of thinking makes different groups become more violent toward each other, which is extremely dangerous for human civilization.
Haven’t we had enough of that? I’m not naïve enough to think there will never be any conflicts in the world, but I think we start moving in a better direction when we realize, to paraphrase Shakespeare, that we all bleed when we are pricked. We all feel pain and joy. We all want to be happy and to realize our dreams.
My teacher also says, “The collectivity is not outside you – your future is inseparably connected with the collective fortune. You must take the entire collectivity with you and move towards the sweetest radiance of the new crimson dawn, beyond the veil of the darkest night.”
I think we move towards the sweetest radiance of the new crimson dawn when we realize we are more similar than we are different. Heck, not just us as people, but also the landscape, as I’ve discovered while I’ve been in Denmark. We are not that different, you and I.
I dream of a world where we remember we are more similar than we are different. A world where we focus on what unites us rather than divides us. A world where we remember people are people everywhere. A world where we work together to move toward the new crimson dawn.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I have to admit, right now I’m not feeling all that optimistic. There’s a lot of negativity in the news and it seems almost certain we’re going to hell in a hand-basket.
My spiritual teacher says, “There are some people who are pessimistic. They say that the society around us is very bleak, that it has no expression of vitality and that it seems that everyone is in a deep slumber. Pessimists say this because they have never made any detailed study of human history, nor do they care to. Had they done so, they would certainly be optimistic, because if they had looked carefully at the symptoms of pause, they would have realized that significant preparations were being made for the subsequent phase of speed. So under no circumstances should human beings be pessimistic. That is why I am always an incorrigible optimist, because I know that optimism is life.”
The future is bright.
Reading that makes me feel a little better. Maybe what we’re going through right now is not all that special or unique. Maybe this is merely history repeating itself, another phase in the human cycle. Also, I’m reminded there are some pretty amazing things happening in the world.
Did you hear about that Dutch teenager who is cleaning up the ocean? Or how about that $16 water pump in India that will provide clean water to a family for a year? Or how in Yemen they’re fighting a water shortage by harvesting fog?
It’s easy to get sucked into doom and gloom, to think the world is a terrible place, that nothing is improving, and nothing will ever change. I know this because I feel that way from time to time, which is why I have to remind myself over and over it’s not true. I just listed three news stories about how human beings are tackling real-world problems.
I’m an optimist not because I have my head in the sand and think nothing bad will ever happen again. I’m an optimist because I see that despite problems like pollution, dirty water, and a drought, people are doing something about it and will continue to do something about it. That there are solutions to all our problems. That no matter what is thrown at us, we will overcome it.
I’m going to quote my spiritual teacher again because I think he sums this up quite nicely. He says, “[H]uman beings should always be optimistic. The cimmerian darkness cannot retard your progress, cannot cover the light of the human heart. The spirit of your heart must move on and on against obstacles. Kick away your obstacles like pebbles from your feet – you are stronger than your obstacles.”
Amen to that. We are stronger than our obstacles. For every problem there is a solution and we will solve it. We are solving it, personally as well as globally. Our progress cannot be retarded and that’s a future I want to live in.
I dream of a world where we maintain our optimism. A world where we remember we are stronger than our obstacles. A world where we act on inspiration to make the world a better place. A world where we realize the future is bright.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
On Monday, I woke up feeling gross. In physical pain, emotionally drained, tired, and just generally cranky. I wished more than anything that I wasn’t in a physical body. Being a spirit, or angel, or something without form, sounded great. No pain! Just bliss! Alas, that’s not true.
Many years ago, a good friend told me there are only two positions for the feelings switch: on or off. That means either I’m numbed out to everything – joy, sorrow, anger, pain – or I have to feel everything. I can’t pick and choose which emotions I may feel. And that means some days I want to be over as quickly as possible.
If we’re not physical, we can’t enjoy things like skateboarding.
The idea of being a free-floating spirit is so tantalizing though! Would I be in bliss all day long? Would it be a non-stop pleasure fest? No, no it would not because a body is necessary to feel anything at all. And when I’m having a terrible day where I’m in physical pain and everything sucks, of course I don’t want to feel anything. But as my friend reminds me, feeling nothing means I also shut out the good things. The exhilaration of a roller coaster. The joy of spending time with a good friend. The peace of a gorgeous sunset. Without nerve fibers, there is . . . nothing so I must be physical.
I want to be happy all the time. I want to feel good all the time. We live in a society where we’re told if we’re not happy, something is wrong and we need to fix it. Start using affirmations or keep a gratitude journal, or quit a job, dump that boyfriend, go on that vacation. Most people are selling the five keys to happiness, but what if there’s nothing wrong with feeling icky? What if that’s what it means to be human?
We are caught in a pleasure/pain cycle but that’s normal. My spiritual teacher says over and over again that a human body is necessary for meditation and to achieve the ultimate union I seek. That to me means being physical is essential. There are no shortcuts. I don’t get to dance with the divine unless I’m inhabiting a human form. That means feeling sad and angry and disheartened. It also means feeling happy and peaceful and inspired. I don’t get to have some but not others.
I dream of a world where we remember being human means feeling pleasure and pain. A world where we remember we can’t feel good all of the time. A world where we realize while the idea of being non-physical sounds appealing, to experience what we’re really after, a human body is required.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
In December, a friend of mine posted this fascinating article about how everyone on Earth is actually your cousin. As if to hammer the point home, while watching People will Talk with Cary Grant, my dad announced Jeanne Crain is my cousin. What? You could have knocked me over with a feather.
Of course I think it’s cool that I’m related to a famous actress, but what I find even more interesting is the idea that I am literally related to everyone on Earth. Think about it: Even if we’ve never met before, we are related, we are family. What makes me laugh is that my spiritual teacher emphasizes this point over and over: that we are a universal family, that we are all brothers and sisters, and now I’ve stumbled across an article that gives credence to that idea.
We are all brothers and sisters.
What would the world look like if we behaved as if we were one big family? I can’t help but think we would treat other a little better. That there wouldn’t be an anti-immigration stance popping up in politics. That homelessness would be a thing of the past. That there wouldn’t be so much income inequality. But mostly, that we would show true caring for one another.
This is not a pipe dream, by the way. It may feel like that right now, but I know it’s not completely out of the realm of reality. I know this because I interact with people every day who hold the view point that we are all brothers and sisters. I see people taking a stance against racism, people who are outraged about police brutality, people who want to help unaccompanied minors fleeing their native lands in search of a better life. We are more compassionate, we are more loving. Life is not nearly as brutal as it used to be.
Instead of seeing the person down the street as “other,” I see more and more evidence we view that person as family. Let’s keep up this trend. Let’s keep opening our hearts, expanding our radius of love, and treating each other as if we were related, because it turns out, we are.
I dream of a world where we treat each other as family. A world where we extend care and appreciation to strangers because we recognize, they, too, are our brothers and sisters. A world where we keep taking action to manifest a world we wish to see.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I’ve been thinking a lot about tantra, which some people misunderstand to mean performing crazy sex acts. That form of tantra does exist, but the form I practice is psycho-spiritual and thus about seeking union with the divine, not the divine in the form of another person. The tantra I practice is all about liberation through expansion. My friend describes tantra as using everything as a vehicle for liberation. My spiritual teacher says tantra is an all-around fight, both internal and external. But what does that mean exactly?
For me, that means confronting everything. It means facing my fears, battling my demons, having tough conversations with people, but it also means embracing all parts of myself. That is much tougher than I thought it would be, particularly when it comes to my emotions. I don’t mean in big ways like suppressing my anger, I mean in small, subtle ways.
Tantra is an all-around fight, like this mushroom pushing through the earth.
For instance, I am single and a part of me thinks I’m going to be single for the rest of my life. Usually this is where I or someone else will jump in and say, “No, of course not!” and proceed to tell me why it’s impossible that I’ll end up alone. The thing is though, no amount of optimistic thinking, compliments, or affirmations vanishes the part of me that thinks I’ll wind up a spinster. She still exists, but instead of voicing her thoughts and feelings, I suppress her. My therapist suggested to me that I allow her to speak and I allow her to feel without judgment and without meaning. Once I did, wouldn’t you know it, I felt better and I started breathing more deeply, a sure sign of release.
Feeling all of my feelings has consequences on my physical body as well. There’s scientific evidence that shows people who developed malignant melanomas often tended to be people who didn’t express emotion in a healthy way and who suppressed or repressed their anger. The repression of anger suppresses the immune system as opposed to healthy expressions of anger. “It’s not a question of philosophy,” Dr. Gabor Maté said.
How does this all relate to my spiritual practices, meditation in particular? My friend Ramesh Bjonnes, author of Tantra: The Yoga of Love and Awakening wrote about this on facebook a year ago, and I’m partially quoting him now. He said:
“Meditation is not about trying to stop our thoughts, our feelings. In fact, it is not possible to stop the mind from having thoughts, the body from having sensations, and the mind from having feelings based on those sensations….
So in meditation we do not deny anything, we actually become more accepting of everything, and in doing so, we realize where peace and true satisfaction is truly found – not in the fluctuating reality of the body and the mind, but in the stillness of the soul. And that stillness is so big that it contains everything, the only change is that our focus has changed, our identification has changed. It is from this state, we can more soulfully deal with pain, heartbreak, stress, and all the other stuff of life. This is the gift of meditation, to be able to dip into the ocean of the soul and thus return spiritually refreshed.”
What this means for me is I’m not denying anything, I’m not suppressing anything, I’m not running away from anything. I’m embracing all of it: the easy and the difficult because I know it’s what’s best for me in body, mind, and spirit.
I dream of a world where we feel all of our feelings and allow ourselves to voice even our most secret fears. A world where we confront everything, where we express everything. A world where we use everything as a vehicle for liberation and practice the real spirit of tantra.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Sometimes I get in a nihilistic mood and think it doesn’t really matter that I’m alive, that I exist. In the grand scheme of things, I’m a speck, a peon, a flash in the pan of life. Furthermore, I think of myself as expendable and exchangeable in the sense that if I wasn’t here, someone else would accomplish what is required of me; that the universe would work through someone else.
The other day though, I read something in Richard Tarnas‘ book Cosmos and Psyche that had me rethink my perspective. He posits two ways of grappling with the universe and uses the analogy of two suitors to explain them. In the first approach, the suitor treats the universe as if it has no intelligence and is something to be exploited for his own gain. In the second, the suitor seeks to know you (the universe):
“[N]ot that he might better exploit you, but rather to unite with you and thereby bring forth something new, a creative synthesis emerging from both of your depths. He desires to liberate that which has been hidden by the separation between knower and known. His ultimate goal of knowledge is not increased mastery, prediction, and control, but rather a more richly responsive and empowered participation in a co-creative unfolding of new realities. He seeks an intellectual fulfillment that is intimately linked with imaginative vision, moral transformation, empathic understanding, aesthetic delight. His act of knowledge is essentially an act of love and intelligence combined, of wonder as well as discernment, of opening to a process of mutual discovery.”
I think the Mother Teresa quote sums this up: “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”
Wow. That paragraph. Reading it I came to the realization it does matter that I’m here, that I’m alive at this moment in time. Not because I exist and therefore I matter — I can’t get behind that just yet — but rather because me being here now I am able to co-create something with the universe that otherwise would not have been birthed. Posted on my bathroom mirror is the question, “What does higher power want to work through me? And what part of self needs to step aside in order for that to happen?” God, higher power, the universe is working through me in a mutually fulfilling way whereby we both benefit. I, you, we, have special gifts and talents that are not expendable, not exchangeable, and not unimportant.
My spiritual teacher says, “If one ant meets a premature death, it will disturb the balance of the entire cosmos. Therefore, nothing here is unimportant, not even an ant.” Later on, my spiritual teacher affirms that, “Nobody is unimportant, nobody is insignificant. Each and every existence is valuable.”
I’m not sure I’m conveying what I’d like here, but what I’m getting at is I matter, you matter, we matter. We are here for a reason. If I remain stuck in an inferiority complex of sorts, I miss the opportunity for higher power to work through me and I miss out on the creative synthesis Tarnas mentions. Part of that synthesis means valuing my part and not giving more significance to higher power’s because we are in a co-creative dance with the divine and as they say, it takes two to tango.
I dream of a world where we feel into the truth that we matter. A world where we understand our existence is important because through us, new things are being birthed that otherwise wouldn’t exist. A world where we realize our lives are more than a flash in the pan.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I spent my formative years in the mountains of North Carolina. A place so rural I couldn’t see our closest neighbors and people burned their trash or buried it because trash pickup didn’t exist and they couldn’t be bothered to head to the dump. I used to take walks on the mountain behind our house and brush snow off the limbs of the tree saplings because I worried they would bow under the weight. It was a pretty existence, but also a lonely one.
Being in the country, I yearned for the hustle and bustle of the city. The people, the activity, the culture. Give me the complete opposite of what I experienced growing up. It’s no surprise I’ve spent my adulthood in one city after another: Washington, D.C., London, San Francisco. I started to disparage the charms of nature, associating it with boredom and isolation. But then something funny happened. As I hit my Saturn return, a time when a person heals all of their childhood stuff and really comes into their own as an adult, I found myself wanting to be outside again. I wanted to walk among the trees and brush snow off the limbs of saplings. Cities started to become symbols for all that’s wrong in the world. Places filled with destruction, selfishness, greed. Places that brought out the absolute worst in humanity.
This picture! How could I not use this? Beautiful.
I started to hate cities, even though I live in one. I started to look upon all that the city offers with disgust, viewing every piece of trash and graffiti as a personal affront. Give me nature and beauty and the great outdoors. My life though is all about integration and learning the middle way, so now I’m coming to love both nature and cities. To see the benefits of both. Last night I saw “Arcane,” a contemporary ballet in San Francisco. It was stunning. My inner child exclaimed with joy and wonder and I was reminded, there are great things about the city. There is art and music and connection. There are things in the city that I cannot find in nature.
Originally, this post was going to be about how nature is awesome. How it can improve your outlook, and your focus, plus strengthen your immunity. But really what this post is about is finding beauty in all things. Understanding no person, place, or thing is all good or all bad. That everything has its pluses and minuses.
One of the things I love about my spiritual path is how it emphasizes that everything is God and everything comes from God. That means nature is the divine and cities are the divine and emotions are the divine. We cannot escape God nor can we find God because that’s like saying we found air – air was there all along, we just didn’t realize it or weren’t still enough to feel it.
What I’m coming to understand is the importance of embracing everything, of accepting everything, of allowing everything. The more I do that, the more I move past duality and start seeing everything as an expression of an infinite, loving consciousness. The more I do that, the more I’m also able to embrace all parts of myself and experience what unconditional self-love really means. And there’s nothing more beautiful than that.
I dream of a world where we embrace all that is. A world where we understand everything has its pros and cons and no person, place, or thing is perfect. A world where instead of looking for perfection, we accept things as they are because we are able to see the beauty in everything.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Maybe this is obvious, but I am easily swayed by strong personalities. That may sound funny because I’m such a strong personality, but I fall under the influence of others and get confused about what I want and what I believe. And if the person is an authority figure? Forget it. I’ve probably already signed away my life savings because that person is an authority, they have a doctorate, and experience, and what do I know?
This week especially I’ve been receiving conflicting advice from seemingly every person I come across. Every person has an opinion, and I know this is partially self-inflicted because I’m telling people I’m confused, so of course they’re weighing in. But then I started thinking about it and I realized it’s all well and good for someone to tell me to do X, but they’re not the person who will have to deal with the consequences – I am. I’m the person that will have to deal with the fallout of whatever choice I make, so it’s my responsibility to make a claim for my life and myself.
Stake a claim for yourself.
It’s my responsibility to do what’s best for me, even if other people disagree with it. The questions I don’t ask myself nearly enough are, “What do I want? What do I need?” So often I’m trying to do the “right” thing that I lose myself in the process. My life becomes a series of obligations and all the fun gets sucked out of it. Or even worse, what I want is so abstract that I don’t know how to get there and am weighed down by others’ opinions. For instance, I know I want and need to make more money, but I don’t know how. This is where someone will chime in, “Edit research papers!” or “Write more articles!” and because I’m so desperate to reach my end goal of making more money, I’ll say OK even if I’d rather poke out my eyes with rusty nails than do as suggested.
I wish I had a quote to throw out here but it’s just my luck that today I can’t find anything suitable, which is maybe for the best. Because what it really comes down to is knowing myself, making decisions that are best for me and my life. It’s easy for me to follow rules, to walk along the path others have set for me. Much harder for me to make my own path, to figure out where I want to go, especially if other people disagree with my decisions. And especially if there are many options before me.
The tenets of my spiritual practice are self-realization and service to society. Self-realization means realizing the true Self, the divine, the blissful, the infinite, but I also have to believe part of that process is realizing my little self too. Not just the small things like what do I want to eat today, but what makes me come alive? What makes my soul sing? What is going to bring me closer to realizing that big Self? Both on and off the meditation cushion.
I dream of a world where we pay attention to ourselves, to what we want, to what works best for us. Not in a hedonistic free-for-all, but in a concerted, discerning way. In a way that brings us one step closer to realizing infinite bliss. A world where we make a claim for our own lives.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
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The other day I made a joke that one of Dante’s circles of hell should be where a person repeatedly experiences minor annoyances like an ant invasion that doesn’t respond to anything. The ants keep invading regardless of traps and deterrents. Maybe that circle would be for the “sin” of not returning a library book on time.
Shortly thereafter, completely unrelated, a facebook friend posted a quote from my spiritual guide who said, “There exists no such thing as heaven or hell. When a person does a virtuous act or enjoys the fruits thereof, the environment around him or her is then called heaven; and when he or she does an evil act and endures the consequences thereof, then the environment around that person becomes a hell for him or her.”
Is she in heaven? Is she in hell?
That quote struck me because I am experiencing a kind of hell. Not because I performed an evil act, but rather California is in a drought and the ants are thirsty so I really am experiencing an invasion that doesn’t respond to anything. I finally relented and sprayed some Raid so the ants are not nearly as numerous as they were, but for a time, those ants made my life hell. When I think about that quote from my spiritual teacher some more, hell becomes whenever I experience something unpleasant, whenever life doesn’t go my way. When I’m not having fun, when I’m not enjoying myself, life is hellish.
Conversely, when I experience something pleasant, when life goes along swimmingly and I’m having tons of fun, life is heaven. So really, what that means is heaven and hell are both of my own making. They are not a place to get to by dying – they are states of being.
I’m not sure I can convey why that excites me so much, but there’s something about knowing heaven and hell are not only results of my actions, but they are within my perception, and within my current life, that I find thrilling. As I’ve been writing about before regarding my spiritual path, it’s about the now. Experiencing bliss now. Experiencing enlightenment now, and also experiencing heaven now. It’s a place we get to now, and not by forcing the world to conform to our whims, but rather changing our perception. Simple, but not easy.
Another point my spiritual teacher makes about hell is, “If one does noble deeds or sings spiritual songs in hell, it is the bounden duty of the Lord of hell to be there, too, and thus it automatically ceases to be a hell.”
I think his point is if we constantly remember God, any place becomes heaven because God is with us there too. And the more that I contemplate my Creator, the more blissed out I feel, the more heaven I experience.
I dream of a world where we don’t wait to live in heaven. A world where we bring heaven to us in the here and now by remembering the source of infinite bliss. A world where we seek to transform even the most fiery hell into a sparkling heaven because we realize we live in both and it’s up to us to decide which one we’d rather experience.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
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On Wednesday, I had a full-on meltdown. I’m talking lying on the floor while tears streamed down my cheeks. What precipitated the meltdown was feeling like I’m not fully utilizing my talents, and at the same time unclear what precisely that means. What am I doing with my life and how can I make money doing what I love? Add in a dose of doubt that my dreams are even possible, and you have a synthesis of my breakdown.
I think primarily I’m struggling against making art and making money. The age-old conundrum. My spiritual teacher says it’s the duty of society to support its artists because artists are pioneers. “If those who are the pioneers of society … if they are forced to starve or half-starve, this will certainly not be to the credit of human society. It is unthinkable that these creative geniuses should curse their own fate.”
Artists and writers have an important role to play.
What I love is that my spiritual teacher values artists. He calls us pioneers because, and this is important, he is against art for art’s sake and rather sees artists as accomplishing something greater than that. I think there’s a time and a place for art for art’s sake. For instance, sometimes I draw pictures because I need a nonverbal way of expressing myself. But I also think there’s a difference between creative expression and art for public consumption. The slogan my teacher advocates for instead is art for service and blessedness.
My spiritual guide is primarily concerned with spiritual growth and he sees art as one mechanism for aiding that growth. He says literature in particular is “that which moves together with the society, which leads society towards true fulfillment and welfare by providing the inspiration for service.” Art is not just about showcasing what’s inside my own head, but a way to spur people forward, to inspire, to encourage, and to hopefully put people in touch with something greater than themselves.
In a sort of call to arms he writes, “People seek deliverance from the whirlpools of darkness; they aspire to illuminate their lives and minds with ever-new light. In all their actions, in all their feelings, there is an inherent tendency to move forward; therefore, if at all they are to be offered something, the creator of art cannot remain idle or inert.”
I could go on, indeed, there are 37 other pages I could quote, but I guess what I’m saying here is even if I never write a bestselling book, even if I never have 10,000 followers, I have an important role to play. I am here to link the finite and the infinite, the mundane and the transcendental because that is my role as an artist.
I dream of a world where artists are treasured. A world where they practice art for service and blessedness because they’re not constantly concerned about how to keep the lights on. A world where artists are allowed to fulfill the role they are meant to, which is to link the finite and the infinite, the mundane and the transcendental.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.