Another World is Probable

Who You Are Is Good Enough

Rebekah Aug 20, 2010 compare, difference, self-acceptance, self-love 0 comments

During a conversation with a friend this week I kept hearing the refrain, “Why aren’t you more like her? She is better than you are. Change yourself. Why aren’t you more like her? She is better than you are. . .” It was on a loop in my head.

Sometimes I wish I could shop for personality traits like I shop for food. “Oooh, let’s pick up some patience, perhaps a dash of charisma, and yes, I think humor will be quite nice as well.”

I get into “compare and despair” and that’s really not fun. You know why? Because I was created this way for a reason. My creator didn’t make any mistakes on me. There is a place for me here in this world as there is for everyone else. My curiosity is the reason I’m a good journalist. My seriousness means I stay on task and get stuff done. I am not a cookie made from a mold. I am a person who adds to the flavor of life. Food doesn’t taste nearly as good if you leave out the spices. And that’s what we are – the spices. Who I am is good enough. Who you are is good enough.

I’ve written this before I think it warrants mentioning again: We are made to be different. We are made to shine in our own ways. We are made to be who we are. Ok, yes, there are certain traits I don’t care for, like impatience. But let’s look at impatience. Why do I hold onto it? Because I thought I needed it to keep moving toward my goals. Well actually, that’s what drive and ambition are for, which means I can let go of impatience.

I guess I’m saying who we are is awesome and at the same time we can let go of our character traits that do not serve us. I can let go of fear, impatience, criticism, perfectionism, controlling. I can let those go and become the person that’s in alignment with my higher power. As Abraham Hicks says, “The only way of getting into the vortex is making peace with where you are,” and that means self-acceptance as well as self-love.

I dream of a world where we all know we were created for a specific purpose. A world where we know who we are is awesome. A world where we recognize we add spice to life. Where we know and feel we are all equal in the eyes of God. That we are all loved unconditionally already. A world where we really feel we are enough.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Love Is My Motivator

Rebekah Aug 13, 2010 change, guilt, love, motivation, shame 1 comment

This post is an extension of last week’s topic on shame. Last week I realized shame is not seeing myself the way Source sees me. Not viewing myself through the eyes of unconditional love. I also realized guilt is judging myself for doing or not doing something I think I “should.” I started thinking about why guilt and shame come up for me in the first place because if they didn’t serve a purpose, they wouldn’t keep appearing. Then it hit me: I’ve been thinking guilt and shame are my motivators. If I feel badly enough about something then I’ll stop (or start) whatever it is. If I feel badly enough about eating 10 cookies then I’ll stop. If I feel badly enough about my mom making dinner every night I’ll start cooking instead.

So not true.

It’s not true. Feeling bad doesn’t do anything but make me feel bad. I am never motivated to do (or not do) something based on guilt or shame. I change my behavior because I decided to change. The end. It has nothing to do with how badly I feel. It has nothing to do with guilt trips and shameful feelings. I only thought it did. I thought I needed to feel guilty or ashamed in order to change.

Last week I realized I kept doing the things I was ashamed of, or felt guilty about, until I said, “Hey you know, I don’t like this so I want to stop.” And then I did. Guilt and shame had nothing to do with it. They acted as cloud cover, because ultimately I stopped when I decided I wanted to do things differently.

This is me saying I don’t need guilt and shame to act as my motivators. I don’t need guilt and shame to tell me when or how to do something. I don’t need guilt and shame to dictate my behavior. You know why? Because I have a better motivator.

My new motivation is love. I do things now because I feel inspired to do so. I change my behavior because I want to feel good. I help other people because I love them, not because I feel guilty if I don’t. I take care of myself and my body because I love it and therefore want to treat it with love. I let go of negative thoughts and behaviors because I want to feel happy and at peace. I change my behavior because I’d rather feel love. Love is my motivation.

I dream of a world where people let go of their feelings of guilt and shame. A world where people do things because they are inspired to do so. A world where people are motivated by love and feeling good. A world where people realize the point of change always starts in their own minds. A world where people use love as their primary motivator.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Shame, Shame, Shame

Rebekah Aug 6, 2010 abraham hicks, life, love, shame, unconditional love, YouTube 2 comments

Does anyone else think of that kid’s song when they hear, “Shame, shame, shame?” Maybe it’s just me. Anyway, right. Shame. It’s my issue du jour this week. There’s a whole lot of, “Oh my god I can’t believe I did that,” and “What would people think if they found out?!?”

Ding, ding, ding! What would people think if they found out? Since I’m on an Abraham Hicks kick lately, I came across this YouTube video where she talks about embarrassment:

To paraphrase: embarrassment is seeing yourself through the eyes of someone else. It’s seeing yourself as something other than how Source sees you. Because if you saw yourself the way Source sees you it would only be with love.

I think shame is a bit deeper than embarrassment. Embarrassment involves an audience, shame is in isolation. Shame for me is thinking, “It would be so embarrassing if anyone knew I did this.” Shame is judging myself, but more specifically, judging how I think others will respond to my actions. Did you catch that?

In December I wrote about how I lost my temper as a child and pounded my brother’s head into the grass. I felt shame because, “Other people must think I’m horrible! They must love me a little less because I’m not perfect!” Well no, actually. My brother didn’t even remember the incident. And people loved me anyway. The truth is, there is nothing I can do that will make God stop loving me. My higher power only ever sees me as love in human form no matter what I do. The love Source has for me will never go away even if I do 10 million “shameful” things. Even if I rob a bank. Even if I eat 10 cookies. Even if I beat my brother up. That’s what unconditional love is.

When I feel shame, I look upon myself with judgment. I stop seeing myself as a divine being navigating the world, making choices, and instead see myself in black and white. I start thinking there is a “right” way and a “wrong” way, when in actuality there is only a “way.”

Nonetheless, shame is an indicator I’m moving away from Source energy, either by trying to exert my self-will and not succeeding, thus causing shameful feelings, or because I’m not seeing my true essence. Sometimes both. With unconditional love though, you can do no wrong. I think that’s what I’m here for, to learn to love myself unconditionally.

I dream of a world where all love ourselves unconditionally. A world where we see ourselves through the eyes of Source. Where we see ourselves as love incarnate. I dream of a world where we remain neutral observers of our actions remembering love is all there is.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Life Supports Us

Rebekah Jul 30, 2010 fear, magic, money, surrender, universe 2 comments

Right now I’m feeling really contracted about money. I’m feeling contracted about money because I spent more this month than I usually do. And so with the help of Mint.com I created a ~~budget~~ spending plan. But my knee-jerk reaction is, “Oh my god! I’m spending too much! The answer is to move out of my apartment!” Now, anyone will tell you I LOVE my apartment. My apartment always goes on my gratitude list because not only do I love the apartment, I love the location and I love my community in my apartment building. Heck, I know all the neighbors on my floor by sight. And not only that, I am friends with the people across the hall. I feel so blessed to be here. So why am I feeling the urge to move?

Fear.

I’m feeling afraid I won’t have enough money even though I’m still working the same job and I’ve been paying my rent and all my other expenses just fine for the past 22 months. I’m also feeling the weight of “responsibility” and “shoulds” raining down on my head:

“You’re being irresponsible! You’re paying too much for rent! You should find something cheaper!”

I’ve worked myself into a fine little frenzy. Here’s what’s really beautiful about all this though. Right in the middle of this freakout I found $3. Literally, right in the middle of it. I opened up my wallet to the section where I keep business cards, and thus don’t look at often, and there was $3 just sitting there. It was as if God/the Universe were saying to me, “Don’t worry baby. The money will always come when you need it.” And that’s what I want to talk about.

I have seen over and over again when I need the money it comes. I get a check from the government. My former company reconfigures how they classify their employees and I get backpay. Someone calls me up to housesit and get paid for it. I don’t ever need to react from fear. I don’t ever need to “figure it out,” on my own. I don’t ever need to control a situation. I am working with the Universe. It’s not, “You need to find a solution,” it’s, “Let’s work together on finding a solution.” I’m not in this alone. The Universe loves and supports me.

The Universe supports me even when I think I’m not supported. The Universe is infinite and so there are countless solutions to every problem. If I say I want to increase my abundance that doesn’t mean I have to take charge and slash my biggest expense. It’s better for me to see what opportunities present themselves and it’s not in my best interest to try to wrest control my higher power. The best thing I can do is turn this over, surrender it, and see what happens, knowing life supports me now and always.

I dream of a world where we all recognize we are supported by the Universe. A world where we allow ourselves to feel that support. A world where we let go and let God, taking inspired action along the way. A world where we recognize we co-create our lives with a power greater than ourselves, a power that will and does stick with us always.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Life Is A Play (literally)

Rebekah Jul 23, 2010 control, job, life, liila, present, san francisco, surrender 2 comments

This week Shakespeare’s quote, “All the world’s a stage/And all the men and women merely players,” finally made sense to me. I really got my whole life is one big drama. In Sanskrit there’s a word liila, which means “the divine play” and it’s used in conjunction with God. As in, “My whole life is God’s liila or divine play.”

Here’s the thing. I used to behave as if not only was I an actor in this play called Life, but also the director, stage manager and producer. I thought I was everything. I thought I was all those roles. I thought I was in charge of who my romantic lead was, how long the show would run, and how much money I could make, but I’m not.

It used to bother me thinking I was the Universe’s plaything, like a rag doll that gets tossed about. I didn’t want to be just an actor. I wanted to be in charge. I wanted to be autonomous and make things happen. Here’s the funny, paradoxical truth though. The more I’ve come to embrace my life as just an actor, the more I’ve relinquished control essentially, the more the play runs smoothly. The more I end up getting what I want. It may not be when I want or how I thought it would turn out, but it happens anyway. People are probably tired of hearing this, but it took me a full year to get my current job and it’s better than what I anticipated. I’m getting paid $8,000 more than I would have asked for. When I tried to be the director during that process of applying for jobs all I accomplished was feeling frustrated and upset.

Here’s the other funny, paradoxical truth. I feel more at peace, more calm, more serene when I do my part as an actor. When I take inspired action and leave the rest up to my higher power. When I say, “God, I want this but I’m letting you take the reins.” I am a former control freak admitting it feels good when I let my higher power be in charge. I’m confessing I feel a sense of relief, like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Because I get to live in lala land and dance through meadows while someone else worries about the details. All that’s required of me is to show up and say my lines.

Since the Universe didn’t hand me a script for my life, I have to rely on my intuition to guide me. And as Abraham Hicks would say, move toward what makes you feel good. Or at least what makes you feel better; that’s when you know you’re heading in the right direction.

All of this is a long-winded way of saying I thought I was in control of my life but I’m not. Like an actor, I get to make suggestions to the director, but ultimately someone else is calling the shots. And you know? I’m ok with that because my higher power usually wants more for me than I want for myself.

I dream of a world where we all show up and play our parts. A world where we revel in our roles and let intuition be our guide. A world where we relinquish control to the Universe knowing everything is taken care of. A world where we let the Universe be the director.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Unconditional Happiness

Rebekah Jul 16, 2010 gratitude, happiness, life, present 0 comments

It’s funny that I would title this post “unconditional happiness” when for the past few days I’ve been an emotional wreck – I flipped out on my best friend, cried to my mom, and have been feeling otherwise all over the map. I am by no means an authority on happiness (does such a person exist?) but I do know some things to be true for me.

After my raw post from last week certain things came to light. I’ve written before about not living my life on a layaway plan, not projecting my future happiness on winning a gold medal or whatever, but I did just that. I thought I needed to get exactly what I wanted before I could be happy. I couched it (subconsciously) as, “As soon as I get X, then I’ll be happy. Then I’ll feel at peace.” My breakdown last week reminded me of the fallacy of placing the cause of my happiness on anyone or anything other than myself. I was reminded that I do not have to wait for happiness. I don’t have to put it off. I can choose to be happy right here and right now.

How does a person even do that? How do they shift their feelings and feel whole and complete with what’s in front of them?

In a conversation with my best friend he asked me, “What is the purpose of your life?” and I responded, “Liberation.” And then he said, “What is the purpose of this life?” and I said, “To experience bliss.”

“What is the definition of bliss?” he said.

“I don’t know. How can you define bliss? It’s an emotion. It’s a state of joy.”

“And what’s joy?”

“Why are you asking me that? How am I supposed to describe joy?” (He and I have a very cantankerous relationship at times.)

“Just try.”

“It means to experience happiness.”

“What’s happiness?”

“To experience contentment.”

“And how do you experience contentment?”

“By being appreciative and grateful for what you have.”

Ah. Ding. Happiness starts with contentment. And even though right now my nickname could be senorita crazy pants, I recognize if I wanted I could change that. I recognize my mom will not make me feel better. I recognize publishing my book will not make me feel better. I recognize all the reasons, all the lists of things and events and situations I think I need to feel a certain way can be completely disregarded. I can throw those suckers in the trash not because they aren’t worthwhile or they won’t come true, but because I don’t need them to happen to feel better. And for that I’m grateful. Maybe I’ll get to experience bliss after all.

I dream of a world where we all experience untold bliss. A world where we live in unconditional happiness. A world where we live in love and peace and joy. A world where we recognize we decide how we feel. A world where love is bountiful and plenty and bliss floats like clouds in the sky.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

The Only Place Left To Go Is Up

Rebekah Jul 9, 2010 control, god, gratitude, life, love, trust 4 comments

I am sad and angry and pissed off. Mostly I feel cheated and lied to. I feel cheated and lied to because people have said, “Just do x, y, and z and then you’ll get what you want.” So then for years and years and years I worked on doing x, y, and z and now? I still don’t have what I want. I feel like a whiny baby for even talking about this but I think there’s an important lesson to all of it: other people are not privy to the details of my path. They just aren’t.

Other people don’t know. They know what works for them, what they did, but they don’t know what will work for me. No one can say to me, “Rebekah just do this,” because you know what? I did. I did all of it. Every single last thing. And now that I look around, now that I’m at the edge of the cliff what I want still isn’t in front of me. And I’m sad and upset and frustrated because, “You promised! You said if I did x, y, and z I would get what I wanted! But I haven’t!” And also there’s nothing left to try. Crap. Now what?

Bye bye control, that’s for sure. Bye bye micromanaging and thinking I can control the outcomes of my life. Bye bye thinking other people can tell me what to do. Bye bye all illusions. Hello higher power/God/Brahma/Parama Parusa, it’s just you and me now. I know you’ve been waiting on me for a while but I had to try it my way first. I didn’t believe you could or would handle things. I thought I had to take care of it myself. Now I know differently. There ain’t nothing left to do but give it to you. So here you go. You take care of things for a while. Me trying to control the outcomes of my life only drives me nuts.

And while you’re taking care of things for me I’ll walk over into gratitude and appreciation because I want to feel good. I want to enjoy what I have. I want to live in joy and love and happiness. I want to remember the good things in my world and all that I have, knowing everything else will take care of itself. This is me showing up and turning it over. I don’t know that anyone else will even benefit from reading this except maybe it will inspire you to let your higher power handle it too. Whatever “it” is.

I dream of a world where we remember we are all on our own paths. A world where we recognize other people only know what’s best for them. A world where we trust in a power greater than ourselves and let the future take care of itself. A world where we instead live in the moment, joyous and free, taking things as they come one day at a time.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Walk Into The Light

Rebekah Jun 25, 2010 eft, light, love, negativity, retreat, YouTube 1 comment

This week I walked into a maelstrom. I made a decision about the upcoming retreat I’m helping to organize and the response has been wide-ranging. Some people have told me I’m completely out of line. That I’m young, naïve, being manipulated, and essentially a spiteful brat. On the other end of the spectrum, people have said they applaud my decision, they respect my stance, and agree with me whole-heartedly.

It would be very easy for me to respond to the negative messages with negative messages in kind. It would be very easy for me to pull a power trip and lash out at those who disagree with me. To respond to them the same way they’re responding to me.

I choose not.

I choose not because I would rather walk toward love, toward light, toward God. I’d rather continue to spiral up and move closer and closer to source energy. Every time I respond to people from a place of fear, or anger, or resentment I turn a little bit further away from the Divine. So instead, I respond to those who call me names with love. I say to them, “Thanks for your concern about my welfare. Thank you for voicing your opinion.” I let them rage on, and on, and on while I continue to walk into the light. I strive ahead with my goal in mind, never losing sight of what I’m hoping to accomplish. I hold onto my vision for this retreat – a place where people can access the divine within as well as without. A place where people spend a solid week turning inward and expanding their feelings of love for all of creation. If people want to join me they are more than welcome.

Lucky for me (and everyone) Brad Yates did an EFT video about embracing the light:

I dream of a world where we all consistently choose love. A world where we rise above the responses of our ego-selves and let love pour through. A world where we walk toward the light, embrace the light, become the light. A world where we move up, up, up, letting our best selves shine through.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

What We Want Already Exists — We’re Just Playing Catch Up

Rebekah Jun 18, 2010 abraham hicks, flow, future, law of attraction, love, patience, self-worth, YouTube 0 comments

I’m just going to be honest. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling sad and frustrated. I’ve been in the space of, “Where is blah di blah? Why isn’t it here yet? Why don’t I have it yet?” Then I want to slip into my fearful controlling place to “make” it happen. But that doesn’t work for me. It never has.

I think about when I was a freshman in college at UNC – 17 years old, depressed, feeling out of place, out of the house before I was ready, desperate for friends. Desperate. My brother is a social butterfly and he encouraged me to, “Just go up to people! Say hi! Make friends!” It didn’t work. It really didn’t work. I spent months going up to random people in the dining hall asking if I could sit with them. I had the same conversations over and over again: “Where are you from? What are you studying?” It was horrible. Really, really horrible. I walked around in a state of frenzy and desperation essentially asking, “Are you my friend? Are you my friend?” The answer was invariably, “No.”

I give kudos to my past self for being so brave and courageous. I put myself out there over and over again to basically get shot down repeatedly. I would meet someone, it would be awkward, we wouldn’t talk again. You know what finally happened? I relaxed. I let myself go with the flow and wouldn’t you know it? Friends! I relaxed into it and because I unclenched my energetic fist, I allowed the energy to flow, to move, and then of course it happened. I’m recognizing there is a cosmic flow to life and I am an energetic being. I recognize I get whatever I put out. If I think it’s hard to find friends it will be. If I think people don’t like me, they won’t. It reminds me of that saying, “When you smile the whole world smiles with you,” (which apparently is also a song!).

Have you ever noticed when you’re feeling great, like today will be a great day, often everything goes your way? But when you feel icky it’s just the opposite? I think it’s the same with feeling lack or lamenting what I want isn’t here yet. If I keep being reminded it isn’t here yet that’s the energy I’m putting out and then of course it won’t be here.

Really the best way I can explain what I’m feeling is to show this YouTube video of a talk by Abraham Hicks:

I love that. Everything I want has already been created and I just have to allow myself to be drawn in. Not make myself go there but allow it. Just like I did with friends. Allow it to happen naturally. Allow myself to rendezvous with people I am drawn to instead of forcing myself to go up to those I am not on the off chance we could be best friends.

Everything I want has already been created and the only thing keeping me from it is me. My fear, my lack of worthiness, my belief it can’t happen. But you know? I am a divine child of God so I deserve to rejoice in life and I deserve all the good things coming my way. Not because I won a Nobel Prize or cured cancer but because I am love incarnate. Because I am the blessed daughter of Parama Parusa/Cosmic Consciousness/Brahma/the Supreme/God/Infinite Love. So why not? Why can’t I have everything I want? You know what? I can.

I allow myself to have everything I want knowing it’s already been created. I know I deserve to rejoice in life, I deserve all the pleasures life has to offer. I know I am worthy and deserving of love and respect and abundance. So I say, “Yes please, thank you.”

I dream of a world where we all allow ourselves to get what it is we want. A world where we know all our needs and desires will be fulfilled with time. A world where we understand life is about flow and movement and that means letting ourselves be carried. A world where we let ourselves dream big and know those dreams will come true if we let them.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Staying Positive

Rebekah Jun 10, 2010 positivity, retreat 0 comments

When I first started writing this blog many moons ago my friend Heather told me, “Rebekah, in order to birth another world is probable you have to believe it.” She reminded me to stay positive, to stay uplifted and inspired. I feel like this week has been a real test of that.

As you know, I’m helping to organize a retreat taking place at the end of this month. We’ve had conference call after conference call. Discussion after discussion. Headache after headache. I’ve felt myself spiraling into negative, pessimistic territory. Thinking about what Heather said, and what I’ve learned from Louise Hay and Marianne Williamson about what we focus on grows, I sent out this e-mail to the committee:

I just wanted to say I know it’s really easy to focus on the negative and all the headaches and drama when it comes to organizing something this massive and intricate. At such times I think it’s important to be reminded why we are doing this in the first place. Why we said, “Yes! Sign me up!” I want us to focus on our end goal and not get caught up in the nitty gritty along the way.

I won’t speak for everyone but I will say for myself I’m doing this because I love God. I agreed to organize this retreat because I truly believe in the power of our ideology and our practices. I agreed to organize this retreat because I want people to know the divine source within. I’m doing this because I want to help people on their path to enlightenment in any way I can.

It is my deepest wish people will walk away from this retreat feeling the divine love that permeates all of our creation. It is my deepest wish people will go home feeling inspired, uplifted, overjoyed. Retreats? Retreats are a time to focus on spirituality, to deepen our meditation and have the most pressing concern be making it to programs on time.

What we focus on grows. I want my inspiration and love to grow. What about you?

I mean all that. I want to keep myself in a high spot while also dealing with reality. I want to keep my sights set on what I want as opposed to getting caught up in what I don’t or obnoxious details. I want to stay positive and inspired and uplifted. I want to remember my thoughts have an effect and I want to choose beneficial ones. Ones that will move me closer to my dreams.

I dream of a world where we continually align ourselves with what is good, what is positive. I dream of a world where we are undeterred by the obstacles that arise in our path and instead keep tilting our faces up to the sun, moving ahead with joy and ease. I dream of a world where we take things as they come while also remembering our end game.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.