Another World is Probable

I find myself constantly reacting. “She said this so then I felt this.” Or “this happened so consequently I felt X.” I’m noticing how not fun that is. How not fun it is to constantly go outside myself for validation/support/comfort/whatever. How not fun it is to feel like a passive player in life instead of an active participant.

My last post I wrote about need. I suppose this post is a deepening/extension of that.

Rev. Michael Beckwith said our natural state as human beings is to feel high. I wanted to believe him when I heard that but didn’t know how being in that state constantly was possible.

Now I do.

Yesterday I was sick, and thus loopy and needy and crazy. I craved affirmation and sought it from others. Even when my mother told me what I wanted to hear, it wasn’t enough. It didn’t satisfy me, it didn’t comfort me, it didn’t fill me like I wanted it to. I realized (again) the only person who can give me what I need – including comfort, validation, etc – is me. Yesterday’s experience only deepened my realization, my belief.

Today I spoke to the now oft-mentioned Heather asking her for techniques or mechanisms to help me find the comfort I seek from myself. Is there some sort of visualization or something I can do when I want to hear how awesome I am?

Her response was to simply ask God/my Higher Power/whatever for help. Say “I want to shift, please show me the way” and the answer will reveal itself. Say “I feel X and I want to feel Y.” It will happen.

I also think by simply asking we open ourselves up to that change, we open ourselves up for the shift to occur. And you know what? I shifted. I wanted to feel better? Now I do.

When Rev. Beckwith says the natural state as human beings is to feel high I think he’s right. However, it takes time to get there. It takes time for the shift, the change to happen. In the meanwhile, certain events/situations/conversations will still throw me for a loop or put me in a funk. But! But! I can quickly move out of those funks. I can move myself from feeling down and low and depressed into a place of love and tranquility and peace. I can, you can, we all can.

I envision a world where we all stop reacting to what happens to us and instead we choose how to respond. I envision a world where we feel the constant bliss, or love, or whatever it is we wish to feel. Where we know we have the choice to feel what we desire. I envision a world where we recognize our own power, our own purpose, our own light. I envision a world where we consciously experience what we want.

I know in my heart of hearts not only is another world possible, it’s probable. Let’s make it happen. =)

Up until this evening I would have told you I need x, y, and z to be happy. I “have” to have such and such in order to experience joy. I “need” so and so to be in my life to feel fulfilled.

Tonight I experienced a shift.

Tonight I did some healing and realized, wait a minute, I don’t “need” to be in a relationship with someone, I don’t “need” an umbrella or a laundry hamper or a job or an apartment to be happy. All those things could vanish tomorrow and my soul, my essence, would remain unchanged. Who I am can never be harmed.

I realized tonight that yes, the things I surround myself with make life cozier but I don’t need them. I don’t “need” anything except for God. All I need is contained within myself right now, here, in this moment. All that I am, all that I will ever be, is locked in this body. All the rest is just trappings.

My happiness, my joy, my bliss cannot be found in the arms of another person, nor in a new computer or a brand new car. I recognize the people and the objects in my life for what they are: a gift. All of it, all of it, all of it is a gift from God for a short span of time. Everything in my life is a gift.

So no, I don’t need a man or new shoes or a job to be happy. All of it is just stuff — stuff to distract me, stuff to shield me, stuff to make life easier. But it is all transient. People and things will come into my life and they will leave my life. But I remain the same.

No object, no person, no situation will “make” me happy or give me the lasting satisfaction I crave. In yoga we say human beings have a thirst for limitless. What we really crave is pure bliss all the time. We delude ourselves into thinking a certain situation, a certain thing will give us that pure bliss. It won’t.

All I need is me. And God. I am all. I am that. I am Him. I am everything. Everything is me.

I envision a world where we as humans don’t get entrenched in our belongings, our things, our objects. I envision a world where we all recognize the people and things in our lives are not where happiness can be found, but rather they are gifts. Gifts to be cherished for the short time they are with us but not clutched in our hands like life preservers. I envision a world where everyone recognizes their own divinity. A world where we all recognize our needs and wants are fulfilled at every moment all the time.

I envision a world where we all express our truest most authentic selves. A world where we let our beauty and divinity shine through. A world where objects are merely that: objects. I envision a world where we reach for God and rise above the material things in our lives to grasp onto our inner divinity.

I know not only is another world possible, it’s probable.

My good friend Heather sent me an audio recording from the Reverend Michael Beckwith, founder of the Agape International Spiritual Center. It’s some powerful stuff. I’ve only listened to half of it thus far but he said a lot already that resonated with me.

Rev. Beckwith talks about how we are all vibratory beings. How our natural state is one where we feel “high” and connected to divinity. Here’s an excerpt of what he said that really hit home for me:

“You’re a vibratory being. And when you come to that understanding the work/play you’re participating in is about lifting your frequency so that you are not fighting circumstances, situations, people, places, and things. Instead you are rising above that into a realm of cosmic ideation that allows you to transcend the world of appearances, transcend even your seeming personal mind and perceptions and opinions so that you can begin to see the world that has been made before the beginning of time. In the beginning was the word, the word was with God. You begin to see this world and participate in this word and a whole other thing begins to happen. You begin to understand ‘I make all things new. I make all things new. I make all things new.’ You are a vibration. This is why a right understanding of God and prayer lifts your vibration. When you understand that God…is spirit, not a man in the sky, not an anthropomorphic being, but God is spirit, every where present, omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent, omniactive, the only thing going on is the power, the presence and the love of God. When in truth that begins to dawn on your awareness…you’re a vibratory being…The right understanding of God and prayer lifts your vibration.”

Powerful stuff in and of itself, right?

Beckwith goes on to talk about how the world we want to live in already exists. Right now what we’re trying to do now is let it manifest. The antonym of manifest is latent. Latent means “present and capable of becoming though not now visible, obvious, active, or symptomatic.”

The world we want to live in is latent. It’s here, it’s present but not obvious or visible. You, I, we can make that world visible. We can make that world manifest. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong in the world let’s focus on what’s right, what’s working, what’s good, what’s great. Let us lift our vibration and rise above the muck. Let us lift our vibration and rise above the things we wish would disappear.

How do we do that? I think one way is to focus on what’s working, what we wish to see. As Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Let’s be the change! We are the change! We are the light and the love and the goodness. You, me, we, us. We are working to bring the world we wish to see into being. Right now, in this moment, as we are.

When we let our love and our light shine through our being we allow God/Spirit/the Divine to work through us. To use us as an instrument to make the latent world manifest. When we move our ego out of the way, when we move our “I” feeling to the side, we let God work through us, to lift us and the world around us.

I think the other way we lift our vibration is through spirituality. Whatever your path may be, I think by remembering we are all divine, that God is in everything, also lifts our vibration. By remembering our connection to the Cosmic source of all life, that inherently makes us “high,” lifts us up and allows us to soar.

I want to soar. Will you soar with me?

Not only is another world possible, it’s probable.

I have a tendency to spiral out and think about what I’m doing in an hour, tomorrow, this weekend, etc. When I moved to California that practice ceased because, well, when you don’t know where you’re living next or where the money will come from to buy groceries, it’s difficult to live in the future.

However, now I’m settled with a job and an apartment and I find myself going back to that terrible habit. I find myself constantly thinking about what’s next, what’s next, what’s next. I bring this up because (I think) many people do the same thing. I think most of us don’t live in the Here and Now because I dunno, maybe we’re constantly searching for something better.

For me at least, when I continuously think about the future I miss out on what’s right in front of me. I never get to enjoy where I am or what I’m doing. I never fully experience anything because I’m too worried about what’s next. How sad! What a tragedy to go through life never fully living in the moment.

While I realize there is a whole book (several actually) to Being Here, Now, there are some things that snap me back to my present moment, that keep me from constantly living in the future.

What I do is try to be more physically present. I notice how my yoga mat feels beneath my fingers. I notice how my hair feels when it brushes against the nape of my neck. I take a deep inhale and figure out what I smell. I listen to the sounds around me and try to distinguish what they are, what could be making them. I bring my awareness to my tongue and discern what I taste. (You get the picture.)

Why is this important? To me it’s important to Be Here, Now not only because this is the only moment we get but because being present brings me closer to God. I find God infused in every moment but only if I experience the moment! When I stop to notice my surroundings, enjoy where I am, I feel God’s presence and the latent divinity in everything. Yes it’s easier for me to think about the future but it’s much more fulfilling to live in the present.

I envision a world where people appreciate every single moment of their lives (even the bad ones!) because this moment is everything. I envision a world where people enjoy what is before them and revel in it instead of jumping ahead. I envision a world where we don’t trudge through the day but rather appreciate it for the gift it is.

It is my firm belief not only is another world possible, it’s probable.

It seems lately I keep running into people who are trying to figure out what their calling is. What they were put on this Earth to do. I am by no means an authority but I do have some thoughts about it.

I believe every person on this Earth is here for a reason. There are no accidents, there are no coincidences.

One of the best things my friend Heather, who is a spiritual life coach, said is, “I came to this planet for a reason and that reason is being fulfilled in this very moment with grace and ease. As always.” I really think that’s true.

The question becomes how do you figure out the reason?

For me it’s writing. When I write the world vanishes, time stops and I feel like I’m transported somewhere else. When I write I feel like I’m brushing against the divine and accessing my highest, most true self. When I write I feel a connection to God. When I write I feel like I’m tapping into something greater than me.

I think every person has something like that in their life. I think every person has an activity where they feel graced and loved and true and beautiful. I think every person has something in their life where they are guided, where they are most connected to God. I think your “calling,” your reason for being here, is connected to that feeling. If it’s when you sing, by all means sing. If it’s when you paint, or design websites or bake cookies, do it! How can we not want to do the activity that makes us feel the most alive, the most graced, the most connected to God? How could our purpose on Earth be anything other than to tap into our gift? Whatever makes your heart soar you should align with, in my opinion.

Once you find your calling there’s the whole matter of following through with it. (See “Fear, Trust and Dreaming Big.”)

I think part of the problem with finding your calling is some people are so out of touch with themselves they have no idea what makes their heart soar or what they enjoy. It’s like we’re all floating in the ocean looking for our life raft. Some of us flail around a bit and then bump into it. Some people flail around and panic because they can’t find it. Some people just stop looking. For those people who have been floating for so long they can’t even remember what a life raft looks like, it becomes necessary to shout out for help. By all means, shout out for help! No need to tirelessly continue swimming when someone will throw you a raft. And I promise, you’ll get a raft. It’s a universal law.

I don’t think it matters if you have to seek a spiritual life coach or pray a lot or whatever to find your calling. Finding it is all that counts. Why should you torture yourself by doing a job you hate just to make money? Isn’t life too precious?

I dream of a world where everyone knows what they are on this earth to do and they aren’t afraid of pursuing it. I dream of a world where people are in touch with their calling and they use their gift to benefit others. I dream of a world where people are happy and joyful because they have a sense of purpose, a reason for being alive. I dream of a world where no one wakes up in the morning filled with dread because they have to go to their horrible job where they are barely scraping by. I dream of a world where everyone lives up to their utmost potential, where talent is encouraged and where we all realize our reason for being here.

I see that world. I see how we’re on the cusp of it. It is my deepest belief not only is another world possible, it’s probable.

Happy New Year! So, you may or may not know but right now is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. I realize not everyone who reads this is Jewish, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the benefits a new year brings, even if it is in September/October.

Seeing as how a new year often involves resolutions and hopes for what the new year will bring I have a few I’d like to share.

I envision a world where people aren’t freaking out about the economy, where they aren’t lamenting how horrible the world is. I envision a world where everyone’s basic needs are met. Where they don’t have to worry where their next meal is coming from or where they’ll be living tomorrow. I envision a world where people know and understand there is enough – enough money, enough food, enough water, enough land to go around. I envision a world where people recognize we are all brothers and sisters and as such we need to take care of each other. I envision a world where compassion reigns supreme and hording is not allowed. I envision a world where the disparity between the rich and the poor is not so pronounced. I envision a world where all people are valued whether they are a drunk or a doctor. I envision a world where human value takes precedence over money. A world where people can instead focus on what brings them joy, on what they can do to contribute to society.

I know it’s hard when everyone is going nuts about the stock market, but seriously, how does being afraid help anyone? How does being stuck in that fear place serve any purpose? Maybe this crisis is exactly what we need – a chance to re-examine our government and our economy. A chance for us to say, “hey, maybe this isn’t working. Maybe we should rethink things.” What better time than a new year?

There are options for us. There are solutions. There are at least a thousand nonprofits working on these very issues.

A quote from my spiritual teacher Shrii Shrii Anandamurti that goes something like this comes to mind: “Your difficulties will never be greater than your ability to overcome them.”

So I believe not only is another world possible, it’s probable.

“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.” — Kahlil Gibran.

If someone had said this to me last week my response would have been: “What are you talking about?!? If you love someone you have to hold on with both hands! You don’t let that kind of thing go!” To my amazement, this week I find I’m in Kahlil’s camp.

Let me back up. When I get a crush on someone it’s usually intense and dramatic and well. Obsessive. It’s obsessive. I admit it. I’m a drama queen and I have a tendency to pursue things until they are dead. Sometimes this serves me well (perseverance leads to a job!) and sometimes it doesn’t (whoa, you’re coming on too strong). It’s something I’m working on.

Anyway, I have a crush on someone. I was taking the route of “I like you! We need to hang out right this instant!” It felt very. Sticky. Very. Clingy. In other words I was attached. I couldn’t get him out of my head.

And then we hung out and he couldn’t seem to talk to me. It got me thinking about relationships and people and possibilities.

I started thinking about how as much as I like this guy it may turn out to be nothing. I started to be open to all possibilities, including the one where we don’t end up together. I understand and accept it (probably) won’t work out. I’m surrendered to my fate and to whatever direction this relationship will go, including nowhere. Why am I bringing this up?

Since I dropped my attachment, my desire to force a relationship, I feel less frustrated. The energy surrounding this guy feels less clingy, less sticky. I feel freer and more open. I can’t tell you whether we’ll end up dating or not because that chapter is still being written, but I can tell you I feel a whole lot better.

I’m noticing how I feel easier, better, and more open now that I’ve let him go. I’m allowing whatever is in my best interest to manifest because I am no longer attached to any outcome. I don’t know if this post will help anyone else but I guess I just wanted to say I know another life is possible. One where we let people come into our lives as they may, whether that be for a year or two, and we allow them to leave when they wish. I envision a world where we aren’t attached to the people in our lives but are merely grateful for the time they grace us with their presence. I envision a world where even if we like someone we don’t try to force a relationship but rather we let the relationship be whatever it needs to be. I envision a world where we are open to whoever is in our best interest even if that person isn’t the one standing next to us.

I know that not only is another world possible, it’s probable.

What I’ve been struggling with lately is accepting that whatever happens to me — whether I like it or not — is in my best interest. It’s hard to believe when bad things happen, like breaking your leg, not getting your dream job, or getting rejected by someone you really like, that it’s actually in your best interest.

Last night I got an e-mail that convinced me otherwise.

Most of you are probably aware of the humanitarian disaster in Gonaives, Haiti resulting from Tropical Storm Hanna and Hurricane Ike. I have a friend down there doing relief work. He’s been living in Haiti for a few years now. In his mass e-mail my friend writes, “The need is so overwhelming, the suffering of the people is so heart-breaking and the needs are so immediate, that this situation has introduced a vital flow of dynamism and the potentiality for very rapid decisions and going through loops in shorter time.”

He goes on to say ACDI, a nonprofit, is about to give the Ananda Marga Universal Relief Team/AMURT Ladies (the nonprofit my friend works for) a large food contract that will benefit tens of thousands of people. UNICEF also wants to give AMURT/EL the green light to implement projects in Gonaives. In addition, the Ministry of Interior is asking AMURT/EL to put together a stress-management program, using yoga as a base. The UN Civil Affairs Office is invited AMURT/EL to give yoga and meditation classes. My friend says the emphasis on things like environmental protection, integrated management, women’s programs and more, has grown.

The reason I bring this up is not to tout yoga and meditation but to point out how much change this horrible disaster is bringing. How there is so much capacity to do good work. How people are coming together in the streets to help one another. How in the face of such a tragedy people are joining hands and demonstrating all that is good about being human. I bring up this tragedy in Haiti as an illustration of how even when something horrible happens, good can come from it. Who knows how much Haiti will change now? Much-needed funds are flooding that country bringing all sorts of change.

My point is that even when horrible, crappy things happen it’s all ultimately for the best. It highlights the need for change, throws people together who otherwise wouldn’t have mingled and creates dynamism. Am I glad several hurricanes hit Haiti and people were injured and hurt? Of course not. Can I see how good can come from this? Yes. I see hope and possibility and strength and kindness. I see that another world is not possible, it’s probable.

The topic I’ve been hearing a lot about lately is money. Whether it’s a beggar on the street down on his knees holding up a Styrofoam cup pleading for pennies, or friends complaining about how broke they are, money seems to keep coming up. In our capitalistic society it’s easy to fall into the money trap, of becoming obsessed with it, fretting about it, letting it consume our thoughts. I for one hate this obsession with money, especially when I’m worried about not having it. There have been many examples in my life of being concerned about where I’ll get money from and then a job pops up, or I get asked to babysit or something but I think this story from my friend Anne does a nice job of illustrating how there is no need to worry. We will be provided for:

One of the things I’ve been stressing out about lately is rugby – not the sport itself, but rather the attendant costs and the necessities of having health insurance that seem innocuous until you’re unemployed. Specifically, I was worried about paying for next weekend’s tournament – Pumpkinfest, which takes place in Philly and comes complete with gas and hotel costs.

Then last night, I went and worked a Redskins game as a Stingers fundraiser. I spent three quarters walking up and down the stands, hauling a bucket so full of beer that my arms were shaking from the weight, hawking my wares until my voice was raspy.

At the end of the night, I returned to the back room I’d been working out of all night, dumped the bottle caps out of my bucket, stripped off my sweaty, official yellow polo shirt, and took my cash apron to the woman who was running the show from her perch at a metal kitchen cart.

As I counted my wads of cash into piles on the table, she tapped numbers into a calculator, making notes of how much I owed and what percentage of my sales went as revenue to the team. When she finished she turned the calculator to show me the number at the top of the screen.

I squinted at it. “That’s it? That’s all I have to give back?”

“Yep,” she replied, already double-counting my cash. “The rest is your tips and you get to keep all of that. You did a good job tonight.” She paused to look up and smile at me, then gestured to a metal bucket next to her. “If you’d like, you can put some in for the kitchen crew.”

Blinking, I pulled out all of my small bills to drop in, then looked at what I had left.

It was enough to cover my whole weekend in Philly – hotel, gas, even enough for some food and maybe a beer or two.

I folded the cash into my pocket in a daze. Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe it was lightness from having one less worry weighing me down, but I felt slightly giddy. Walking out of the stadium to catch the shuttle to the employee parking lot, I remembered Rebekah’s posts about trusting the universe, and Jenna’s reassurance Saturday night, as she passed me another beer, that “We’re all ruggers, and ruggers take care of each other other.”

It’s true – it’s true, it’s true, it’s true. All you have to do is trust, and the universe – or at least the rugby universe – will make sure you’re taken care of.

I’ve been trying to keep this in mind as well as something my good friend Heather told me. She said to think more creatively when it comes to making money. Instead of focusing on job, job, job, notice other ways you can bring money into your life. When I stopped being so linear in my thinking I allowed other money possibilities to come into my life, like housesitting, babysitting and more freelance work. Just something to keep in mind. When I think about Anne’s story and the stories of others, I firmly believe that not only is another world possible, it’s probable.