I have a truly wild story. About 13 years ago I lived in an in-law unit and the landlady wanted to show the apartment to potential tenants. I didn’t want to be home and at the same time wanted to safeguard my valuables. The most valuable piece of jewelry I owned was a diamond pendant necklace from my Grandma Libele. She died when I was 13 and the necklace was the only physical thing of hers I owned so it was valuable for multiple reasons.
When I got home after the viewings, I couldn’t find the diamond necklace. I either forgot where I hid it or someone stole it after all. Every time I moved in the ensuing 13 years (which was a lot), I looked for the diamond necklace. I kept thinking it would turn up in a random box or bag that I would find as I unpacked. I didn’t. And even after I settled into my current apartment, every so often inspiration would strike and I’d check a purse pocket or pouch hoping I’d find the necklace. I never did.
This week construction guys are working on my apartment. I had to remove everything from one of my closets and now my belongings are scattered all over the place. I hate it so much but I’m taking it as an opportunity to clear things out. Sheets I never use? Donate them. A cord that I have no idea what it goes to? Recycle it. There’s a three-drawer storage bin I kept in the closet that I’ve opened a million times because I have cloth napkins and such I use regularly. For some reason this week I decided to open all of the drawers fully and empty them. In the top drawer, the one I open the most, was my grandmother’s necklace.
Here it is! The necklace.
I burst into tears when I saw it, not only because of the necklace itself but also what finding it reminds me: “What’s meant for you will always find you.” That’s a message I need to hear over and over again because as a worrywart, I don’t always believe that’s true. I’m scared I’m doing something wrong. That I’m “blocking” my perfect whatever or I missed the metaphorical boat. I’m not alone in that either. People say things like, “I missed the deadline to apply for my perfect job!” “My future romantic partner isn’t on a dating app so I’ll never meet them!” or, “Somebody else bought the house meant for me!” None of that’s true.
I’ve repeatedly seen that if something is meant for you, it will always find you. In fact, if it’s meant for you, you can’t keep it away. This happened to me with a pearl bracelet and other things too. So often I think I messed things up, that I blew my chance, that I can’t have what I want but finding my grandmother’s necklace again reminds me, no, what’s meant for you will always find you. It may take a while, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
I dream of a world where we understand the people, things, and situations that are meant to be in our lives will. A world where instead of living in scarcity, we live in trust. A world where we know that yes, there are actions we have to take, but we don’t need to worry about missing out on anything because what’s meant for us will always find us.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
A friend sent me a podcast he created solely using AI and it freaked me out. By feeding a discourse into a large language model, it spit out a realistic conversation between two “people.” I didn’t love the podcast because the speakers said “like” too much, but still. AI created something much easier and swifter than me, a human. From there I spiraled into “AI will replace me” territory because I’m not a plumber – I’m a writer.
I tried to soothe myself by remembering AI can only regurgitate what’s already been generated and I’m creating something new. For instance, the novel I’m writing centers on a woman with an eating disorder who finds recovery from it. As astounding as it may seem, that story doesn’t exist for adults! So there’s still a role for me. But/and the whole thing has me pondering what are my gifts? And beyond that, what does it mean to be human?
The thing I do as a human that AI cannot is commune with subtle energies. I receive messages from the Divine Beloved and communicate them to humanity. To that end, I’m sharing a letter from my higher power to me because I think you will also find it beneficial.
This picture reminded me of the expression, “Worth your weight in gold.” Photo by Kent Pilcher on Unsplash
Dear one,
You are irreplaceable. Who you are and what you contribute to the world is so much more than your paid work. It’s your interactions with others, it’s your life experience, it’s your wisdom, your kindness, and your love. You are a part of the web of life and bigger than what you generate or what AI can generate on your behalf.
You worry about AI replacing you but you don’t realize that’s impossible. A machine cannot fulfill all the roles and functions that you do. You are love itself and that’s more precious than anything currently in existence. You touch minds and hearts wherever you go and that’s what matters, not whether you can create a podcast in three minutes.
Society is entering a new phase of development where everyone is learning what it means to be human so you will become even more valuable. You do not treat people like machines. You don’t look at them for what they can produce or how they can help you. You look at people as expressions of divinity. You remind them they’re special and sacred and that cannot be quantified, nor can it be replaced.
I know you’re scared you’ll be out of a job soon but you will never be out of a job even if your role changes because your job is to know Me, to love Me, to move toward Me, the ever-loving entity that pervades this universe. When you take shelter under me, you are always shielded from every storm. So do not worry. You are held, you are loved, you are guided every moment of every day. Rest in that, trust in that, and know all is well.
I dream of a world where we recognize we are so much more than what we produce. A world where we understand we are irreplaceable as unique expressions of an infinite loving consciousness. A world where we understand we are interwoven in the web of life and that’s far more complicated than it may seem. A world where we remember we’re irreplaceable.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I’m currently in Texas for what I hope is a peak experience, aka, watching the total solar eclipse. What follows is a repost from September 2015 so the content has changed – neither of the men mentioned here are a part of my life anymore, for instance – but the concept is still valid and apt for my current circumstances. Maybe they apply to you too.
Lately, I’ve been humbled and in awe of the magic, the mystery, and the surprise of life. So often I think I know how things will play out and I’m being shown, yet again, I have no idea. This has come up especially regarding people.
I met someone in December 2013 who I liked right off the bat and had high hopes for his involvement with my yoga and meditation community. He seemed so keen and enthusiastic. He came to our newly formed meditation group a few times consecutively and then stopped. I wrote him off, never expecting to see him again except on Facebook. Someone else in the group said, “Well, that’s the last time we’ll see that guy again.” But it wasn’t. About a year later, “that guy” surprised us by circling back. He’s shown himself to be a dedicated member of my community, and much to my surprise, he’s a dear friend and an important person in my life. Go figure.
Pictures of space always make me think of a divine intelligence. Photo by Rodion Kutsaiev on Unsplash
Similarly, three years ago I connected with someone and felt affection for him right away. We hung out a few times and then I didn’t hear much from him again. I assumed he would be a peripheral friend, someone I’d invite to a party, but nothing more. Color me shocked when he called me up last week to catch up and reconnect. That’s not how I was expecting things to play out. And that’s the point – I never know how things will play out.
I throw myself into a tizzy thinking about the future because I’m absolutely sure I know what will happen. If I’m not friends with you now, I won’t be friends with you later. If I’m single now, I’ll be single forever. If I’m in debt now, I’ll be in debt forever. It’s a small thing, but these two men remind me I have no freaking clue what the future holds and they remind me someone, or rather something else is in charge here.
Indian-American economist, author, and professor Ravi Batra wrote a book in the late 80s that became a number-one New York Times bestseller. He attributed his success to the “cosmic magician.” I love that. It certainly seems that way when something unexpected and amazing happens like writing a runaway bestseller when all your previous books weren’t as successful. Thinking of the cosmic magician reminds me amazing and magical things can happen and they’re not up to me. I’m not the one responsible for outcomes, or the fruits of my labor, if you will. Not just with writing, but with everything.
My spiritual teacher says, “Behind this world’s creation, there is a cosmic magician who has created the universe and also controls it. In fact, whatever has been or shall be created is He and He alone. Those who have realized this truth attain blessedness.”
When I can remember the cosmic magician, I can relax because it means I’m not responsible for everything in my life. Some things yes. But everything? No. There are greater forces at play in the world that have absolutely nothing to do with me. And those forces are often working to create something amazing and magical if we only have enough patience to see how it turns out.
I dream of a world where we realize there is divine intelligence at play. A world where we allow ourselves to be open to whatever comes our way because we have no idea what’s ahead. A world where we understand amazing and magical things happen all the time not because we “made them happen,” but because there’s a cosmic magician working behind the scenes on our behalf.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I’m all about the questions these days. I want to be happy, joyous, and free so I’m asking what that looks like and how to accomplish it. I’m aware that happiness requires daily action, it’s not a destination, but I know the way I think and act has a lot to do with how I feel. Often, my thoughts are negative and I slip into worst-case scenarios, which doesn’t feel great.
If I throw a party, I’m sure no one will come. If it’s a slow week work-wise, I’m convinced I won’t be able to pay my rent and will have to move back in with my parents. I know it’s a protective mechanism, that I want to save myself from disappointment and also prepare for the worst, but it kind of sucks. It’s not fun to constantly scan for threats and be negative. As I wrote about last week, it robs me of joy.
I’m affirming, “I create a new life with new rules that totally support me.” But how do I actually do that? What occurred to me is a concept that I learned from 12-step programs, which is “acting as if.” It means pretending until something feels real. It’s building a baseball field believing the players will come, to cite the movie Field of Dreams. It’s taking contrary actions that don’t feel natural until one day they do.
“If you build it, he will come.” Classic acting as is. Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash
For me, the questions are, “How can I act as if the universe loves and supports me? What would I do/say/think if I believed all is well and that I’m being taken care of?” It may seem like small questions but the ramifications are huge. If I believe the money will come to pay my rent, then right now I would stop worrying and spinning my wheels. If I trust that all is well, I would have patience in the here and now knowing that every delay is beneficial and the perfect fill-in-the-blank has already been selected. I would affirm that all right actions will be shown.
It reminds me of something my friend Emma said in November 2021 after I was in a car accident: “There will always be an invitation to the fear and negativity party but you can choose to decline.” It was a powerful perspective shift that’s resurfacing. I don’t have to say yes to negativity and worst-case scenarios. I can choose to center myself in faith, not by doing it once, but like with happiness, making it a daily practice.
My spiritual teacher says over and over again if a person takes shelter in the Supreme, they need not be afraid of anything in this world. That the divine is “more courageous than the most courageous, and braver than the bravest. Those who take shelter in [the divine] are therefore bound to acquire these qualities: courage, bravery, chivalry, and so on. Once endowed with such qualities, what is there to fear?”
When I’m in fear, I’m not taking shelter in the Divine Beloved. I’m separating myself and saying, “Oh no! I’m all alone! I have to figure it out!” But I’m not alone, ever. There is an entity that is nearer than near, that is with me now, forever, and always. What would my life be like if I remembered that? And if that feels inaccessible, which it does right now, what if I acted as if I was never alone? That I was always loved, always cared for, and always supported? I’m not sure yet but I notice my breathing deepens and I feel soothed contemplating it so I think I’m on the right track.
I dream of a world where we remember there can be a step between doubt and faith. A world where we recognize that step is acting as if. A world where we realize even if we don’t believe it, we can act as if all is well, that we are loved, taken care of, and supported. A world where we know there is power in pretending because eventually, the masquerade becomes reality.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
It’s been a very up-and-down start to the new year for me. I’ve cried every day thus far, which is not my MO. I have a friend who jokes that it’s a good day when she only cries once but that’s not me. I’m more of a “cry as needed” type and I guess right now it’s needed because all this grief is coming up about my friend who died, yes, but about other things too. Grief is a gateway and once the door is open, grief about a variety of things waltzes through.
Amid this grief though, there have been sweet things, miraculous things. Because of negativity bias, I could focus on all the things going wrong in my life but I’d rather not so I want to tell you about a small miracle I experienced. It’s my way of noticing the presence of the Divine Beloved in my life.
About three weeks ago, I listed my friend’s guitar for sale on Craigslist and Facebook marketplace. (She lives in Europe and thus can’t handle the logistics herself.) I don’t know the metrics for Craigslist but the Facebook ad had 611 clicks and about 25 people messaged me, every one of them saying, “Is this still available?” When I replied, “Yes,” they disappeared. After a few weeks of this, one man reached out to me and said, “Will you accept $100 less than your asking price?” No, I would not.
Not the guitar in question, in case you were wondering. Photo by Jefferson Santos on Unsplash
That same man messaged me multiple days in a row while I kept holding out for a buyer willing to pay the full price. After not getting any traction, I caved and agreed to $50 less than the asking price with that dude. What follows is our actual exchange:
Me: “Meet me at ____ elementary school.”
Him: “I’m honestly I don’t have a car. Is it possible to meet at my house?” And he proceeded to drop a pin of where he lives.
Me: “I don’t have a car either. Let’s meet at a bus stop that’s in between the both of us.”
“I don’t know how take buss.”
“Then I’m sorry it won’t work. Taking the bus is easy. You can also take a Lyft or Uber.”
“Try if can bring me here that will be great. Thank you.”
“No.”
I’m half convinced that if I’d gone to this random man’s house I would have been robbed and/or murdered. It was crushing to have this option, even a terrible one, off the table and to be left with nothing. I prayed fervently, asking for help, the guitar feeling like an albatross around my neck. Literally the next day a woman messaged me, “Is this still available?” I anticipated the same song and dance of no response after my initial “yes” but she said, “I’m interested and I can come by today.” So that’s how I got rid of the guitar for the asking price and in a public location.
Some people might not think that’s a miracle but I do because it arrived when I was at the end of my rope. Yes, I could have sold the guitar to a shop but my physical capacity at the moment is low. There’s a circular light bulb sitting on my ottoman that I’ve meant to recycle for three months but haven’t because I can’t find the energy or motivation to do so. Schlepping a guitar across town? Even more impossible.
The miracle is I didn’t have to “push through” or go through a hassle because Higher Power came through for me. I perpetually think HP won’t, that this time will be different, but so far, the universe’s track record is 100%. The solution never arrives when I want it to but that’s a different story. When I think about this small miracle, my breathing deepens and my body relaxes because I remember the universe loves and supports me. And I hope you feel the same.
I dream of a world where we recognize there’s a power greater than ourselves at work in our lives. A world where we witness moments of ease, sweetness, and grace. A world where we know the universe will come through for us even though sometimes it’s at the last possible second. A world where we savor the small miracles.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I had an experience a few days ago that I keep thinking about. If you follow me on Instagram (@krsnasfav), you already heard this story, but I want to share it here too. As I walked to the chiropractor, I felt dismal, irritated, and hopeless. Everything surrounding Israel and Palestine weighed me down, I didn’t hear back from people I expected to hear back from, and things were just not working how I wanted them to.
I don’t know why I had this urge, but I looked up at the sky and saw a rainbow reflected in a cloud. I took a picture and glanced around, wondering if anyone else also saw this rainbow. Even though my phone was pointed upward, and my head tilted back, the other passersby didn’t notice. They didn’t look up. After 10 seconds, the rainbow disappeared.
The rainbow in question. Photo by me.
It felt like a sign specifically for me, but because I can’t keep these things to myself, it feels like a sign for you too because you’re a part of my life. After seeing that rainbow, my whole mood shifted. I was reminded good things are possible, that life has a way of working out, and maybe I didn’t need to be quite so down in the dumps.
I would say a feeling of hope returned but apparently hope is not what I think it is. Research defines hope as a “positive motivational state that is based on an interactively derived sense of successful (a) agency (goal-directed energy), and (b) pathways (planning to meet goals).” Optimism on the other hand is the belief that somehow – either through luck, others’ actions, or your own actions – that the future will be successful and fulfilling.
While technically I felt optimistic, that word doesn’t sit right with me because seeing a random rainbow in a cloud, which is a rare occurrence, and on a sunny day, is a message of hope if I’ve ever heard of one. That rainbow was a harbinger of good things to come because wouldn’t you know it? My week turned around. The checks I was waiting on came in the mail, people finally got back to me, and I heard more care and nuance about the Israel-Palestine situation.
It only takes one moment but your whole mood can shift. I forget that. I get stuck on the “Life is like this and it will always feel like this,” setting. But when I see things like rainbows, hearts, or the word “love,” I’m reminded that there is a loving, benevolent force in the world and It’s doing Its best to draw me closer to It.
My spiritual teacher says, “When people advance, that which propels them from behind is known as momentum, and that which pulls them from in front is known as attraction. Momentum and attraction can be physical, psychic, and also spiritual.”
That’s what hope feels like to me, something pulling me from the front, urging me forward, whispering to me not to give up even when giving up feels like the most natural thing in the world. How do I regain hope when I feel hopeless? I think it’s by having things work out the way I want them to, but maybe really, it’s by seeing how the universe is pulling me toward it, calling me, and saying, “I’m here. You’re not alone. All is well.”
I dream of a world where we look for signs of hope around us. A world where we understand life can change in an instant for the better. A world where we remember we’re being pulled forward by a power greater than ourselves. A world where we regain a sense of hope when we’re hopeless.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I’ve lived in my apartment for eight years so I’m familiar with what’s usual and unusual. On Saturday, something strange happened. I walked into my bedroom and a giant beetle crawled on the outside of my window. I’m on the second floor, not next to trees, kudzu, or anything nature-y that would warrant a giant beetle crawling on my window but crawling it did.
As I watched this beetle, it occurred to me this creature was likely completely unaware of my presence because the windows are slightly tinted. Yet, inches away I stood, observing. This beetle reminded me that the way I watched it is the way my loving higher power always watches me and guides me, according to my spiritual tradition.
It’s easy for me to forget this concept, and sometimes believe it, especially when life doesn’t go how I want it to. When I don’t get my way, I’m convinced my higher power doesn’t care at all but that’s not true. Sometimes I need to wait and then I’ll understand why things unfolded the way they did. For instance, earlier this week, a client asked me if I was interested in a rush writing job. I said yes but then they gave it to another writer who responded quicker than I did. I was upset because I need the money, like really need the money. Like, I’m-having-to-use-savings-to-pay-rent need the money.
This is the beetle in question, in case you were wondering. Photo by Me.
When I didn’t get the job, my first thought was, “How could you do this to me, higher power? You know how broke I am and you’re going to dangle this carrot and then snatch it away? Really? Really? That’s so mean.” I kept fuming, not being in faith, and the day I didn’t get the rush job, as well as the day after, and the day after that, I was so low energy I struggled to make dinner, wash my dishes, and do other grownup things.
It’s not because I was depressed about the money situation. It’s because I’m a spoonie so this happens to me from time to time. Instead of having energy reserves, when I’m out of energy, I’m out and cease functioning. If I received that rush job, would I have been able to finish it? Would I have felt even worse and pushed my body to do something it literally could not do? Probably. In other words, this was an instance of my higher power doing for me what I could not do for myself. Higher power said “no” for me because I wouldn’t have said “no” given the chance.
My spiritual teacher says, “The Macro-psychic Entity [aka, Higher Power, God, the Divine Beloved] is omniscient … There is no special endeavor, and no necessity for special effort, to know anything because all things are within [It] and all are within [Its] ectoplasmic dispersion …. Everything is [Its] internal mental projection, intra-psychic projection. That is why [It] knows everything and will always know everything.”
The Divine Beloved knows everything and will always know everything. That means this force understands when it’s in my best interest to work versus rest. This entity knows what the future holds for me before I even have an inkling of it. This entity is always there, always watching over me as if I’m a beetle crawling on Its window.
I dream of a world where we remember we are always being watched over by benevolent beings. A world where we recognize the Divine Beloved is omniscient, which means It knows all and sees all. A world where we trust even if we don’t understand why something is happening, there is likely a good reason for it and if we wait, we may learn the answer.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Even though Passover is long over, I keep thinking about a story I heard. There’s a perception that during the exodus when God parted the Red Sea the Jews walked up to the water and tada! The water parted. However, Jewish teachings state that’s not what happened. The Jews waded into the water up to their knees and nothing. They kept going up to their waists and still nothing. Their chests, no change. The water came all the way up to their noses, meaning they could no longer breathe, and then the water parted.
So often when it comes to miracles, I want them to happen immediately, before I feel any pain. I want the Disney-fied version of events where there’s minimal struggle and I’m plodding along and everything is easy peasy. Sometimes life is like that, but oftentimes it’s not. Oftentimes, higher power waits until the last possible second to deliver a miracle. What to do? Keep moving with faith.
I’ll be honest, if I was escaping Egypt and kept wading into the water without being able to swim and not having a flotation device, I probably would have turned back. I don’t think I would have kept going. I would have acted from a place of fear and not experienced a miracle. I would have done the opposite of what Rumi advises which is, “Move, but don’t move the way fear makes you move.”
Even when it’s blurry, keep moving. Photo by Martin Adams on Unsplash
I often move the way fear makes me move, especially when it comes to money. Bank balance running low? Better apply for a million jobs even if I’m not really interested! No new clients? Start contacting everyone and their mother! But that doesn’t work for me. Desperation rarely does.
The question then, is how can I move with faith? What sort of decisions do I make when I believe things will work out? What if I truly believed the universe has my back, even if I don’t see any evidence until the last possible second?
From that place, I’m calmer, curious, and open. From that place, I remember the magic and the mystery of the universe. When I’m in faith, beautiful things can come out of the blue. I receive a random email or telephone call from someone looking for my ghostwriting or content writing services. I find a random object I’m looking for, such as Play-Doh, on the side of the street for free.
Tosha Silver writes in her book Outrageous Openness if you think of the Divine as your ultimate protection and your Source for everything, “Then the Universe can use anything it wishes to meet your needs. You’re no longer limited to what your conditioned mind thinks is possible.” She has countless stories of this happening in her life and in the lives of others. For instance, she found an apartment through a hairdresser and someone else found a literary agent by bowling them over in a yoga class. Fear leads us to believe we must force things; we have to make them happen. Trust and faith show us we can relax and be shown the next steps on our path. In other words, faith causes us to move differently.
I dream of a world where we soothe our fearful parts when they’re freaking out. A world where we understand what’s ours is ours and will show up at the perfect time in the perfect way. A world where instead of moving from a place of fear, we move from a place of faith.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I feel contracted about money right now because the situation with one of my highest-paying clients is in flux. Not only that, I’m spending a lot of money all at once for this upcoming Australia trip. I didn’t know what I was signing myself up for, honestly, because I booked the ticket semi-impulsively. My response is wanting to hoard money like a dragon sitting on her riches. “Amass all the wealth! Spend none of it!” In other words, it’s a good time to remind myself of a concept I learned almost exactly three years ago: “It’s not your money.”
We’ve been socially conditioned to believe it’s our money, our house, our bodies, our whatever, but nothing is truly “ours” in a permanent way. We’re caretakers for right now and that’s it. If the concept doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine, but I find it helpful to remember everything belongs to the divine beloved because it helps me feel more relaxed.
Whenever I think something is “mine,” I start grasping, controlling, and getting overwhelmed. If I think money is mine, I start freaking out when I spend it, want to stockpile it when I receive it, and worry about how to get more. I start wondering if I spent too much on the plane ticket, if I chose the wrong hotel, and maybe I should cancel this once-in-a-lifetime experience to stay home instead. It’s not fun and it’s also no way to live. Life is about giving and receiving. Not only receiving.
This isn’t ours. Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash
The solution to the fear I’m feeling comes down to faith. Faith is not rational, scientific, or evidence-based. Faith is the opposite of all those things. It’s belief without proof. That’s not just my definition; the dictionary defines faith in the same way. That means I have to actively, consciously, choose to believe I’ll be OK financially speaking. That money will continue to flow in and out of my life and furthermore, it’s not mine to control anyway.
I’m reminded of a Sanskrit phrase for meditation, Iishvara prańidhána, or seeking shelter in the Supreme. My spiritual teacher says, “Iishvara prańidhána also implies implicit faith in [the divine] irrespective of whether one lives in momentary happiness or sorrow, prosperity or adversity.”
Essentially, that means letting your life belong to love, to quote Tosha Silver, the author of the book It’s Not Your Money. It means letting go of control and recognizing there is a divine presence here, at this moment, in every moment. It means remembering a loving force moves through me and you. Furthermore, I can consciously invite that loving force into my life. It means saying, “Hey God/higher power/universe, I want you to take care of this. Please guide my actions. I trust where you are leading me,” and then letting go, knowing whatever needs to come, comes, and whatever needs to go, goes.
It’s not easy by any means but neither is the alternative. I’d rather feel happy, joyous, and free than sad, depressed, and imprisoned. For me, that means trusting and surrendering.
I dream of a world where we remember nothing in this universe is truly “ours.” A world where we recognize there is a power and presence that’s in charge. A world where we put our trust in something greater than ourselves. A world where we’re able to surrender and let go of our micromanaging tendencies and fully trust all true needs will be met, and often in amazing and wonderful ways. A world where we understand it’s not our money.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I wrote this post in December 2017 so a lot has changed since then. My sleep is sorted and my health challenges aren’t nearly as taxing as they were before (although I’m still a spoonie). However, some of my dreams still feel far away so re-reading this post brings me comfort. I hope it does for you as well.
It doesn’t happen to me often that I’m up most of the night, wide awake, unable to sleep, but it’s happening as I write this in my journal. The timing seems only fitting for the topic of this post, dreams.
The other day I pulled an oracle card called “The Retriever.” The Retriever is a fairy who retrieves that which is lost, including dreams. The Retriever will hold onto a dream until the person is ready to pick it up again. Drawing the card, I felt comforted. A sense of ease washed over me. I visualized my dreams as an orb off in the hinterlands, not going anywhere, just waiting patiently.
This is kind of what I imagine the dream hinterland looking like. Photo by Denys Nevozhai on Unsplash
So often we talk about our dreams as something to pursue, to constantly work toward, like they’re a marathon to train for. And while it’s true we must take action to turn our dreams into reality, The Retriever reminds me my dreams are ready and waiting for me when I can attend to them. I don’t have to worry about them disappearing like a soap bubble if I’m unable to focus on them at this very moment because they’re not going anywhere.
Right now, as you likely know, I’m unable to pursue my dreams to the degree I’d like. All I have the capacity for at this time is focusing on my health. I mean, clearly something is going on if I’m writing this post in the middle of the night instead of sleeping. While I could heap on further disappointment by telling myself my poor health is evidence my dreams will never come true, and I’ll be stuck here forever and always, I’m reminding myself my dreams are out in a field somewhere, earmarked for me.
My spiritual teacher says that “whatever happens in this universe of ours is nothing but an expression of Cosmic desire or Cosmic will … when a human desire and His desire coincide, then only does the human desire become fruitful, otherwise it is a sure failure.”
That’s a wordy way to convey divine timing, but I also think it’s a message that emphasizes I can focus on other things, like my health, knowing one day my desire will match the Cosmic desire, and my dreams will manifest. I would say I can’t wait, but that’s not true. I can wait and I will because my dreams are out there somewhere in the hinterlands with my name on them. There’s no rush. And that means I can take all the time I need.
I dream of a world where we trust our dreams are earmarked for us in a metaphorical hinterland. A world where we realize our dreams don’t disappear if we’re unable to focus on them when and how we’d like. A world where we have peace of mind, recognizing when we’re ready to retrieve our dreams from the hinterland, they’ll be there, waiting for us.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.