Another World is Probable

I’m coming to realize how important self-acceptance is. I’m written before about accepting God’s timeline, accepting change, etc. but not a lot about accepting myself.

I bring this up because when I love and accept myself the way that I am, my life feels more peaceful, I’m happier and I feel so free. I can concentrate on things other than what’s “wrong” with me.

As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, there has been a belief within me before I could be loved I had to be perfect. Before I could accept myself I had to do things perfectly, look perfectly, act perfectly, etc. There was a whole lot of negative self-talk going on in my mind. A whole lot of, “Why did you do that?? Why did you say that? What’s wrong with you?!?” And it went even further. I did a lot of physical nit-picking, which unfortunately, is fairly common for women as far as I can tell. There’s a lot of feeling dissatisfied with our body/skin/hair for which we should buy a pill/cream/gel to fix.

Here’s an ad from the magazine lying on my floor: “Take your hair from flat to all-day FABULOUS with TRESemme 24 hour body.” And that’s not even the worse one I could find.

Inherent in TRESemme’s advertising copy is the idea flat hair is bad, undesirable, the opposite of fabulous. “Everyone wants full-bodied hair and now you can have it too with our product!” is the underlying message.

Personally I can say by focusing so much on my “flaws” I’ve been wasting my time and energy. So much of my mind space could be freed up for other things if I didn’t obsess about my physical appearance in a negative way, if I could love and accept myself as I am, right now. What a concept in Western society!

I may have a zit on my chin or frizzy hair but that does not diminish my beauty. I am a divine child of God no matter what. I am beautiful no matter what’s going on externally. My physical ailments are transient, brief flashes in time and space that do not require beauty products from TRESemme.

Last week I wrote about self-worth coming from within and loving myself no matter what happens. This week I can say I love and approve of myself no matter what I look like. I love and approve and accept myself just as I am, right in this moment. And I have that same wish for others.

I dream of a world where we love and approve of ourselves no matter what we’re doing and no matter what we look like. Where we accept our beauty at all times, recognizing our physical ailments are merely expressions of mental patterns that can be changed. (See “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay) Where we recognize the power of our minds to not only affect our lives but our bodies. Where we love ourselves unconditionally as God loves us. Where we accept ourselves for who and what we are, realizing all is inherently right with us. Where we realize our full potential as human beings to manifest the world we wish to see and the people we’d like to become. I dream of a world where the pervading concept is we are beautiful, we are loved, we are perfect just as we are. Where we are bombarded with the message, “There is no one else in the world like you, so cherish yourself as you are, recognizing your good and how wonderful it is you exist.” I dream of a world where we can all walk down the street feeling confident in our skin no matter what we look like, loving ourselves as we deserve to be loved.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Originally I wasn’t going to blog about this but yesterday a friend called me up and we had this very conversation so I figure it might be worth writing about.

Yesterday I realized I’d been wrapping up my self-worth into the success or failure of the nonviolent communication seminar I’m organizing. Unconsciously I felt the outcome of the event would be a reflection of me – of my worth as a person or something. I realized I’d been taking to heart how the event turns out because if the event “fails,” if 10 people don’t show up, it means I’m a failure, that I suck as a person. And similarly, if the event goes well it shows how awesome I am.

I’m using the NVC event as an example but substitute doing well on a test, putting out a CD, getting the lead role in a play, etc. The things that feel very personal to us, it’s understandable why we take them to heart. If my book (when I publish it) doesn’t sell, it’s understandable why I’d think it was a reflection of me. It’s understandable why I would spiral down into, “My writing sucks, people hate my book, therefore I suck as a person.” It makes sense but it’s also completely ridiculous.

The outcome of this NVC event/publishing my book/baking cookies/whatever is not a reflection on me. No matter what happens I am still a divine child of God. No matter what happens I still love and approve of myself. No matter what happens my worth remains the same.

This whole thing is a reminder to me about surrender, surrendering the consequences of actions, letting things be what they are. It’s a reminder to me to extricate my self-worth from any outside forces. My worth as an individual comes from me, from who I am, who I’m being. I’m reminded of something my friend Deva said to me. “You’re special not because of what you’re doing, what you accomplish or who you know, but rather who you are.” We are unique because we are expressions of an infinite loving consciousness. We are specific incarnations of God. How many CDs we sell, how many people show up to a seminar, is indicative of nothing other than selling CDs and people showing up at a seminar.

I love and approve of myself no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. From that space everything becomes so much easier. Less dramatic. I can detach myself from what I’m doing because outside forces are just that: outside of me.

I dream of a world where everyone loves and approves of themselves. I dream of a world where we express the artistic messages that come to us but we surrender the consequences. I dream of a world where we engage, inspire, transform but we know no matter what happens our worth remains the same. Where our worth comes from the inside, from who we are. I dream of a world where we float on an ocean of love, treasuring ourselves for the incarnations of God that we are.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

This weekend I got to talking about astrology with a friend of mine. He’s really into it so I asked him to pull up my birth chart. (For those of you who don’t know astrology is more than your horoscope. It’s complex and involves your birthday, birth time and location.) Anyway, he pulled it up and told me some things that really irked me, that really got under my skin.

I have to admit here I love astrology. I used to say things like, “Oooh, you’ll get along famously because you’re a Taurus and she’s a Cancer. That’s a really good combination.” I used to be all about the Sun squaring Mercury and Venus conjucting his moon or whatever. After my conversation with my friend though, I realized there has been a contradiction in my beliefs. How can I truly think anything is possible (and probable) if I’m operating under the notion the stars exert influence on me? That my life is destined to go a certain way because of my birth date? (I realize some of you may think astrology is bull hockey but just substitute astrology for “personality trait” or “upbringing” or “background” or whatever fits for you.)

What I’m saying is I think we were all born into this world with something. I’m not in John Locke’s tabula rasa camp. I think we all came into this world with innate tendencies, certain characteristics, karma, if you will, to rise above. But that’s the point: we can rise above anything. It may say in my astrological chart that I burn through money but that’s not the way my life always has to be. It’s something for me to take note of, to watch out for but that I can change. I can change anything. My mind is more powerful than I know and the thoughts I project into this universe come back to me. If I think I will always be poor, I will be. If I think I will be rich, I will be. There is of course action that is also required. If my chart says I’ll be wealthy that doesn’t mean it will happen if I sit on my tush all day and wait for money to fall from the sky. (Although since I’m allowing for all possibilities I have to say this may happen to some people.)

What I’m saying is I think there is an element of destiny in everyone’s life. There are certain things that must happen due to actions we set in motion, either in this life or a previous one. It’s a law of nature that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. It may be my destiny to get in a car accident but that accident may be a fender bender, crunching up the hood, or a crash replete with flips and crushed metal and broken glass. The severity of things can change. And how I react to situations is up to me. I can say, “Dear Lord, thank you for keeping me safe, for softening the blow of this accident, for taking care of me always,” or “Why are you doing this to me?!? I hate you!!! Everything sucks!!!” Life is what you make it.

There are certain things that must happen but there is still an element of free will. My thoughts still have an effect. My actions still mean something. Just because I came into the world with something doesn’t mean it has to stay with me. I guess I’m saying destiny can change, fate can be altered. The future isn’t set in stone. Astrologically I may be suited for a job as an engineer but if in my heart I want to be a ballerina I can be. I can be anything, I can do anything, I can have anything with God’s grace. There are no limitations. No matter what the stars say, no matter what personality traits we may have, no matter what our upbringing, we can do anything, we can change anything. I’m reminded of an affirmation I posted in April because I think it’s pertinent:

“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete, and yet life is ever changing. There is no beginning and no end, only a constant cycling and recycling of substance and experiences. Life is never stuck or static or stale, for each moment is ever new and fresh. I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power has given me the power to create my own circumstances. I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power of my own mind to use in any way I choose. Every moment of life is a new beginning point as we move from the old. This moment is a new point of beginning for me right here and right now. All is well in my world.” – Louise L. Hay

I can change, you can change, we can change. We are all powerful beyond measure. We were given certain circumstances, certain characteristics in this life to work through, to work on, but life is what we make it. I choose to live life the way I want. And I have that wish for others.

I dream of a world where we rise above our circumstances, where we veer off the roadmap given to us at birth and make our own way. I dream of a world where we decide what we want in life and then go after it, knowing anything is possible. I dream of a world filled with joy and love and grace. A world where we account for free will and the power of choice. A world where we understand things can change, do change, will change. A world where we recognize the power of our minds and the part we play in our life. A world where we know we can manifest anything and we can change ourselves and our relationships. A world where we know the power is within us at all times.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Yesterday my company had another round of layoffs, from which I was spared. Last night I talked to my friend, expressing to him I felt so powerless and frustrated about the whole thing. He reminded me I’m not powerless, I’m not helpless. Just as I project thoughts into the universe about my needs and wants, so too can I do the same thing for the world. Obviously this entire blog is an expression of that but really his comment got me thinking my dreams do make a difference.

The whole conversation reminded me to keep dreaming, to keep projecting what I want this world to be like and eventually, in the proper moment, that world will manifest. When God deems fit, the world we wish to see will rise to the surface like a bubble fizzing through carbonated water. In the meantime it’s important to keep dreaming, keep talking about the world we’d like to see. To dream collectively, if you will.

I see how it’s important not just for me to declare what I’d like the world to be, but for others to do the same. If a bunch of us keep talking about how we’d like a peaceful world, a loving world, a world where people are valued above all else, where all our needs are guaranteed – God has no choice but to make it happen. The universe has to grant that wish – isn’t that what the law of attraction is? Project what you’d like and eventually it will come to fruition? So wouldn’t it follow the same is true on a grand, macro scale? The same is true for how we’d like the world to be?

To that end I encourage everyone to start dreaming, and dream collectively if you can because united we are more powerful than we are individually. (For anyone in the Bay Area I’ve created a meetup in September for expressly that purpose.)

I know and trust a better world will grow like a sapling coming from the earth. I know and trust the force of our collective vibration will burst out like the sun after a rainy day, drenching us in warmth and light. I know the world we wish to see will manifest if we keep on projecting what we want.

So here are some of my dreams:

I dream of a world where people are treated as the valuable creatures they are. I dream of a world where all our needs are met. Where we are guaranteed food, education, clothing, shelter and medical care. A world where we wake up each morning secure in the knowledge we are all taken care of. I dream of a world where each person can realize his or her full potential because we recognize the only barrier in life is our own mind. I dream of a world where love reigns supreme. Where we do cartwheels in the fields of life and laugh uproariously. I dream of a world filled with joy and ease and grace. A world where we know love, give love, receive love. A world filled with peace. A world where we live in the moment, enjoying what’s before us, feeling grateful for what we have. I dream of a world where we know anything is possible through God’s grace and we only wish for what’s in our best interest. I dream of a harmonious world, a peaceful world, a loving world.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

This week I finally understood the law of attraction. I’ve been writing about it for a while, but on Tuesday something finally clicked.

I used to think of myself as a passive participant in life. I used to think the Universe acted upon me and there was nothing I could do about it. I guess I held a bit of a victim mentality, a “the world does stuff to me and I don’t like it but there’s nothing I can do about it,” perspective.

I finally understood though that’s not true. That for the most part what I experience in my life comes from the thought-waves I project. Enlightened beings – angels, gurus, etc. – intervene from time to time but mostly I’m responsible for my own reality. For the most part, my life is what I make it. If I choose to be stressed, I will be. If I choose to be relaxed I will be. But beyond my mood and how I choose to react to things, I also create situations for myself. If I worry I’ll be stuck in a dead-end job, I also create that reality.

From that point I jumped to the understanding anything is possible. I realized thought-waves and mental vibrations can truly create anything and everything. From there I took a dangerous, ego-filled step to believing I can do anything. I even wrote, “The universe is my plaything. It’s a big ball of clay to be molded.” And while I do still believe anything is possible and the mind can accomplish great things, I overlooked some important points. I started on an ego-trip, feeling puffed up by my own power.

What I stepped away from is knowing I do not run the show. There is an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent entity that has a much broader perspective than I do. The things that happen in my life? God/Paramapurusa/the Supreme Entity/the Universe/Cosmic Consciousness allows them to happen. I don’t even know “allow” is the best word but it’s the best I can come up with. I’m stepping back and remembering God truly makes everything happen. I may be given the capacity to do things, but that capacity was given to me by God. Everything I do in my life, everything I’m capable of, everything I experience is because of God’s grace. Yes, there is an interplay of energy, I send out a thought-wave, God sends something back, but that’s the crux of the matter: God sends something back. “I” do nothing.

I guess what I’m saying is God ultimately decides everything. God decides whether to “grant” me my desires. God decides the timing for everything. God decides. Yes, there is some autonomy on my end but mostly it’s a partnership with the Universe. I am neither superior nor inferior to God but my human mind can only grasp so much whereas God can see the past, present and future, so God can determine whether my desires are in the highest good for all parties involved.

Lastly I wanted to say I am a divine instrument. God works through me, through everyone. God uses me as a tool to accomplish certain things. The more I brush my ego aside – my wants, my desires, my way of thinking – the better. Getting caught up in my own selfish yearnings will ultimately be my undoing. So again, this is where surrender comes in for me. Aligning my will with God’s will, wanting only what God wants for me and also recognizing everything in my life is through God’s grace.

And I also wanted to say there is no separation. I am God and God is me and we are united. “I” ultimately do not exist, rather I am a specific manifestation of God, pieced together in a certain way to accomplish a certain task at a certain time. I am one with the Supreme and the Supreme works through this human body to achieve things in the physical realm. We are one and the same. So truly the only barrier between me and God is my ego, which is why it’s all the more important to realize what entity truly holds all the cards.

I dream of a world where I and others like me do not fall into an ego trap. Where we crumble our egos and allow God to work through us like the divine instruments we are. Where we truly remember everything in life comes to us through God’s grace. Where we strive not for money, prestige and occult powers, but for love, liberation and pure bliss. Where we know anything is possible but ultimately our power comes from a source greater than ourselves. Where understand we each have a divine purpose and we try to attune ourselves to what that purpose is. Where we see God in everyone and everything and know we are special because we are a specific incarnation of divinity put on this Earth for a specific reason. Where we give love, receive love, know love. Where we wake up and try to realize our true potential as human beings. Where we surrender our desires and strive instead to know God’s will for us.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Today I’m feeling stressed about the Non-Violent Communication Workshop I’m organizing (if you’re in the Bay Area I’d love to see you there!). I took on this task on top of all the other things I’m doing and I’m obsessing because I still don’t have a venue.

On Wednesday I overheard a great quote. The woman spoke about her life in Alcoholics Anonymous and how her sponsor said to her, “Do you think you get yourself sober?” When I heard that something clicked into place for me. It reminded me that what happens in my life is not because I made it happen or figured it out. What happens in my life is by the grace of God. Everything is a gift to me. I’m not saying I now have a license to sit on my tush all day and eat cookies, but it takes the outcome of things out of my hands. I still do the footwork, I still have to call places and leave messages and ask for help but ultimately I’M NOT IN CHARGE. Ultimately I do not decide where the venue for this seminar will be. Or how many people will show up. Or what will happen to me in the next 10 minutes. There is a power far greater than myself that runs the show. Why do I even pretend otherwise?

The reason I bring this up is because this stress? This drama in my life? It’s completely self-induced. It’s completely my own mind stirring up a hornet’s nest. The truth is whatever happens, happens and there’s nothing I can do about it. The sooner I learn that, the better. But I also know I can cope with anything. And I know I have power over my mind and my actions. I know I can choose to make my life light and easy and joyful. That I can choose to not stress myself out over the small things. I am doing the best I can in this very moment and the rest is up to God. I can surrender my drama to a higher power. I can let events/situations move past me like a river flowing around rocks. I can relax and release and surrender.

I dream of a world where when we get wound up we wind ourselves back down. A world where we recognize the power of our minds to solve anything. A world where we do not get stressed out because we are fully surrendered in each and every moment. A world where we know and believe and act as if a power greater than ourselves is in charge. And instead of feeling scared by the prospect we rejoice because that means we can live footloose and fancy free. I dream of a world where life is light and easy and joyful. A world where we change our perspective on things so we can truly live joyfully at all times.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Right now I’m feeling some tightness in my heart because there are some things I want so badly. I’m comparing myself to other people and wanting what they have. Inherent in those feelings of jealousy and envy is the idea of “can’t.” Why can’t I go to Italy? What can’t I do X? Yesterday a friend reminded me I can. I can go to Italy one day, I can publish a book; I can do anything I set my mind to. It’s not a matter of wishful thinking, it’s a matter of flipping the switch in my head that thinks I cannot. It’s a matter of getting out of my own way, of not going down the road of, “Yeah but. . .”

I think about the book/movie that came out a few years ago, “The Secret,” which details the law of attraction. In essence, the recommendations are think about what you want, really believe you will get it with all your heart, think about it as if you already have it, visualize it, feel good and positive in your life, and feel gratitude for what you already have.

I’m reminding myself the only barrier to anything in life is my own mind. I think about how I’ve always gotten what I wanted – not necessarily in the timeframe I had in mind, but it’s always come true. I think about how a few years ago I walked past the National Cathedral and said to myself, “One day I want to live in this neighborhood.” Three years later I did. I said the same thing about living in Cleveland Park. And union square in San Francisco. And working for a magazine. Any many, many other things. Guess what? They all came true. Why would I think my other wants and desires would be any different? Why would I think the things I want most in this world won’t manifest? When the timing is right, when the stars align, it will happen.

My point though is I’m not a special case. It’s not like only the things I want most in the world come true. Our minds are powerful beyond measure. If we get out of our own way, anything is possible (and probable). Instead of spiraling into negativity saying things like, “Oh, it’s too expensive,” or “I’ll never get the time off,” or whatever it is, I’d rather be in a place of complete trust and surrender. I’d rather be in the place where I know beyond a shadow of a doubt all my deepest wishes will come true at the proper moment. Where I believe there are no blocks in my life, there are no hindrances, only open skies and smooth sailing.

I dream of a world where we all move through life with love and ease and grace feeling at peace with our lives because we know what we wish will come true. Where we are each our own biggest ally, where we know the mind can accomplish anything and indeed it will. I dream of a world where we feel gratitude for our lives knowing what we want comes to us, because it always does. A world where we understand our own power. A world where we experience life as the magical existence we always thought it could be.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Lately I feel like I’ve been getting steamrolled by life. All this change has been taking place both internally and externally that I’m having trouble assimilating because it just keeps going. I like change in small doses but this has been massive. Each day I wake up, look in the mirror and say, “Who are you?” I don’t recognize the person staring back at me. I keep hoping things will stop or go back to the way they were but they haven’t and won’t. Because life continues, no?

What I’ve been doing is resisting this change like anything. I’ve been thrusting my arms in the air, turning my head in the other direction and screaming, “Nooooooooo! I don’t want it!” I’ve been futilely trying to stop the change from happening, believing that if I resisted it, it wouldn’t come (hahaha). I’ve been confronting the dogma that “change is scary.” I guess I bought into the idea change is a bad thing and it’s better for me to just stay where I am where things are familiar. It’s better for me to remain the person I’ve always been because that’s all I’ve known and I’m quite comfortable with the way things are, thank you very much.

Today though I experienced a shift.

In yoga philosophy we have this concept of dharma, which translates into the essential nature or characteristic of something. So the dharma of fire is to burn, the dharma of human beings is to evolve and to move toward God. So actually, what could be more natural, more normal, more dharmic than growth and change? Why am I resisting this so much?

I also realized the growth will keep happening whether I like it or not. I can continue to resist and feel like I’m getting flattened, or I can accept it. I can embrace it and go with the flow or I can keep beating my head against the wall. Isn’t there some movie quote that says, “We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way?” I want to do it the easy way please. The easy way means accepting the change, embracing it, letting it happen.

I dream of a world where we recognize change is normal, natural and precious. A world where we love change because we see it as an opportunity for a better life and a better world. I dream of a world where I and others like me can accept the things that happen to us. Where we can dance in the divine rhythm with our heads held high. Where we let change wash over us and cleanse our souls. A world where we not only accept change, we cherish it for the gift it is.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

For a long time I used to believe if certain things happened to me my life would stop or the world would stop spinning. Something like that. I walked around bracing myself for future events in the hopes of staving them off. (How does that even make sense?) I attempted to control future events by worrying about them and praying they wouldn’t happen (like that works).

Looking at my thought patterns now all I can say is, “Well that’s silly.” It’s silly for me to worry about the future and hope things don’t happen. It’s silly to hold on so tightly to what I don’t want because the truth is even if it happens I’ll get over it. Whatever “it” is I’ll move on. Life goes on. Human beings are resilient creatures. I’ve already done things I didn’t think I was capable of. I’ve already moved past certain traumatic events I thought I would never get over. My life continued, will continue, does continue.

I guess I’m saying I realize even if the “unthinkable” were to happen, so what? I can get over it. I can move on. I am strong and powerful and resilient. I am capable of anything the universe throws at me so what am I worrying for? Why am I walking around with some tightness in my heart believing I can’t handle certain things? I can handle anything. There is no difficulty greater than my capacity to overcome it.

Realizing I can overcome all obstacles also coincides with looking my fear in the face. Not only does fear dissipate when I examine it head on but also I know if my worst fear came true I could cope. I already have with many, many things.

Instead of praying, “Dear God, please don’t let X happen,” I’d rather embrace the idea I can survive anything. I’d rather accept my fate and surrender to God’s plan for me. I’d rather move through life joyous and free, letting the current take me where it will. I’d rather let go and release my worries. I’d rather my creator use me in whatever way he deems fit. I would rather surrender.

I dream of a world where people quit worrying about the future and rather live in the present. I dream of a world where people realize they are powerful beyond measure and whatever crops up in their lives they can manage. They can overcome. They can survive. I dream of a world where we open our hearts to a power greater than ourselves and surrender to what life has in store for us. I dream of a world where life is light and easy and joyful for everyone. Where worry and anxiety vanishes like the mist. Where people live life to the fullest feeling carefree and full of joy.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.